Christmas Wishes Part 1. Elizabeth Rolls
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* *
Her body was no longer hers, but his to command. Thought was long gone. There was only the ache in her breasts and the deepening ache in her belly and lower, where he touched her with such shattering intimacy, there where she was open to him. And his kiss—all dark heat—the surge of his tongue, taking her mouth in the same possessive rhythm as his wicked fingers between her thighs.
* * *
He should stop. He knew that. But instead he was unbuttoning the fall of his pantaloons, freeing himself. His mouth devouring hers, he guided himself to her entrance, gripping her hip with his free hand as he eased her down to meet the savage ache of his erection. Liquid silk spilled over him, over his fingers, and he fought not to just take her. He eased in a little farther, shaking, burning... So tight, so hot and wet... And then he felt it. Not just tightness. A resistance that could mean only one thing....
His mind fought free for an instant of the heat engulfing him.
Not like this. It shouldn’t be like this!
‘Maddy, no. Wait, sweetheart!’ His voice was harsh, scarcely recognisable to himself.
But she squirmed against him, pressing down, sobbing in a wordless plea. And his body responded, thrusting upwards into the welcoming warmth, his mouth taking her shocked cry as he breached her maidenhead and slid deep into paradise.
* * *
Pain cut, sharp and swift, and Maddy fought for breath, slowly realising that although he was buried inside her, Ash wasn’t moving at all. That his fingers were clamped like a vice on her hips, holding her still. She couldn’t believe how stretched she felt. How deep he was inside her. She took a careful breath, not entirely sure there was room inside her for anything other than him.
‘Don’t move.’
She froze. The words sounded as though they’d been chipped out of solid granite. His breath was harsh in her ear.
‘Are you all right?’
She wondered if he was in pain, his voice was so rough. ‘No. Yes. I...’ She tried another breath. ‘I don’t know.’
But even as she spoke she realised that the pain had faded, was only memory, leaving behind a restless need to move, to ease the ache.
He spoke again. ‘I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have—’
His voice broke off as she moved, and his fingers gripped savagely. She tightened around him on a gasp.
‘Damn.’
He groaned and began to move beneath her, hard and fast. There was no pain now; her body was flaming to life as he thrust again and again. Need, pressure coiled and built. Dimly she heard a frantic voice, sobbing, pleading, and realised she was sobbing, she was pleading.... And then his body hardened as he groaned, thrust up into her and held still and deep, shuddering as warmth flooded her. She took a shaky breath, aching with need as she understood—it was finished...he was spent.
* * *
Very slowly, Ash returned to his wits. Maddy. He’d taken Maddy’s virginity in a damned carriage. Gently, he lifted her from him. Hell’s teeth! She had deserved better than that for her first time. Deserved better than to be deflowered in a carriage by a bridegroom who, for whatever reason, had doubted her innocence. She had deserved a bed and a man who had at least taken care to satisfy her before taking his own selfish pleasure. And if he had been right about Montfort then she had deserved those things all the more!
‘Here.’ He handed her his handkerchief. She stared at it and he said carefully, ‘You might like it to...cleanse yourself.’
‘Oh.’ Crimson flooded her cheeks.
Tactfully, he looked away while she dealt with matters and he put himself back together.
‘Thank you for the handkerchief,’ she said at last.
He turned to look at her. She was still pink, her hair tumbling wildly about her shoulders, her eyes uncertain.
‘Are you all right?’ He’d hurt her, and the knowledge ate at him.
‘I— Yes.’
He swallowed. ‘Sweetheart, it will get better. It was only because it was your first time. I should have waited—if I’d known—’ He broke off, realising what he’d implied.
‘But...you did know.’ Then, with dawning horror, ‘Didn’t you?’
He shut his eyes. He could only hope that when his wits returned from wherever they’d gone begging he would know what to do with them.
* * *
The truth crashed over Maddy. He had thought she wasn’t a virgin.
‘You believed Edward,’ she whispered. It felt like breathing broken glass. ‘How could you think that I would have let him—?’
‘I thought he probably hadn’t given you much choice,’ said Ash, his voice very quiet. ‘Maddy, it wouldn’t have been your fault.’
‘But you thought I’d deceived you.’ She dragged in a breath. ‘That I hadn’t told you.’
‘Damn it, Maddy!’ His voice was tight. ‘I didn’t think you’d deceived me, just that—’
He reached for her, but she jerked back. ‘No. Don’t touch me. Why did you marry me if you thought—?’
‘That he’d forced you?’ The ugly word was matched by his harsh voice. ‘To protect you, of course!’
‘Even though you thought I was deliberately deceiving you?’ Bitterness welled up. ‘You must really have wanted Haydon.’
Grey eyes narrowed to blazing slits. His hands shot out, gripped her shoulders, forcing a gasp from her.
‘You were the one who changed the settlements, Maddy,’ he ground out. ‘My version left Haydon entirely in your hands. Is that the action of a man who wanted your property? And I didn’t see it as deception! You were trying to protect your home, your people.’ He let out a breath, releasing her, and said quietly, ‘I didn’t like it, but I understood.’
She couldn’t think. Logic was beyond her, so she didn’t answer at all. Instead, fingers trembling with hurt, fury, a nameless ferment of emotion, Maddy fumbled with the hairpins remaining to her and forced some order into her unruly locks. She snatched her bonnet up and jammed it back on, but the bonnet ribbons defeated her.
‘Here.’
Ash reached over and she pulled back as his fingers grazed her throat, flinching at the leap of her pulse.
‘Sit still and I’ll tie them for you.’
His voice was harsh. Wonderful. Not only did he think her capable of deceiving him, he thought her incapable of putting on a simple bonnet. She sat still, shutting her eyes to block out the sight of him so close to her.
* * *
Snow swirled down in great soft flakes as the carriage rumbled through the main gate into the outer bailey. A shout went up and a lad dashed out to help as the horses drew to a halt.
The door opened and Brady looked in. ‘Here y’are. I’ll get that.’ He bent and set the steps down, and stood back, holding the door. ‘Welcome, m’lord.’ He cast a glance at the flakes drifting down from the leaden sky. ‘I’d say yeh made it just in time.’
Maddy bit her lip. It probably wasn’t quite the decorous formality Ash was used to in a ducal household, but he just smiled, as if they hadn’t travelled the last mile in a frozen silence, and stepped down.
‘Thank you, Brady.’
‘Yeh’re welcome, m’lord.’
Ash held out his hands for Maddy. She made to put her hands in his