Modern Romance December 2016 Books 5-8. Annie West
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need to see the broad shoulders or powerful physique or the black hair glinting in the sunlight; it was much more visceral than that. Every pore of her body screamed out to her in shocked and delighted recognition, but she fought back the latter feeling, resisting the desire to kick off her shoes and go running towards him with her arms spread wide.
Because they were over and she didn’t know why he was here—appearing in front of her and taunting her like this. Had he constructed some kind of elaborate charade with her brother to be allowed to come here? He must have done. She told herself that the anger which followed this surprising realisation was healthy. That it would help her stay focussed and she needed that. Because they were over. They needed to be over.
So why was he here, making her heart squeeze with pain all over again?
The Sophie of a year ago might have turned away, got back into her car and driven at speed to the palace. Because no matter what Rafe’s sudden new influence with her brother was, he would be unable to access the Princess if she refused point-blank to see him. But that would be running away and she was through with that.
So she took off her shoes and began to walk across the silver sand towards him, her heart pounding out a powerful rhythm in her chest as she got closer and closer.
‘Hello, Rafe,’ she said, when she was near enough for him to hear.
‘Hello, Sophie.’
Rafe’s breathing was shallow as she stopped right in front of him but she wasn’t looking at him. She was staring out to sea as if she preferred to look at the yacht bobbing in the lapping water rather than look at him. ‘Whose boat is that?’
‘Yours. I bought it for you.’
She turned then and he could see fury spitting from her blue eyes. ‘You bought me a boat? What’s this—the billionaire’s equivalent of a bunch of flowers to say you’re sorry?’
‘In a way. But also because she’s the loveliest boat I’ve ever seen and one I thought a sailor of your calibre might enjoy. I cleared it with your brother—’
‘I managed to work that out all by myself and I don’t give a damn about my brother,’ she hissed from between clenched teeth. ‘I want to know what you’re doing here. Turning up like this out of the blue—appearing on a private family beach without any warning!’
It was the most difficult question he had ever been asked and Rafe knew that he had to get the answer right or risk everything. He wanted to pull her into his arms and kiss her and let his lips demonstrate just how much he’d missed her. But that would be cheating. Even if she allowed him to kiss her, which—judging by the look on her face—he doubted. She needed to hear his words and he needed to speak them. But even so, a lifetime of conditioning was hard to break. ‘I’m here because I miss you,’ he said. ‘Because I’ve been a fool. A stubborn, unimaginative fool.’
Angrily, she shook her head. ‘I don’t have to listen to this...rubbish,’ she hissed. ‘You made your decision, so stick with it! I’m getting my life back together and I don’t need you.’
‘Don’t you?’ he questioned. ‘Then you are very lucky, Sophie, because I sure as hell need you. Nothing is the same without you. I have a whole world at my feet. I can go anywhere I want. Manhattan, Poonbarra, even England—but I don’t want to go anywhere which doesn’t have you.’
‘Tough. Go away, Rafe,’ she said tiredly. ‘And take your meaningless words with you.’
‘If that’s what you really want, then I will go.’ He narrowed his eyes. ‘But before I do, I need you to listen to what I have to say. Will you at least do that for me?’
He could sense her struggle as she turned her face away from him to look out at the water again.
‘Hurry up, then,’ she said abruptly. ‘Because I want to go.’
He drew in a deep breath. ‘I never really believed in love. I wasn’t even sure it existed—’
‘I remember,’ she interrupted acidly. ‘You’d seen it masquerading as lust, or greed.’
‘Yes, I had. I’d seen nothing but chaos in its wake,’ he continued. ‘And that made me determined to control my own life and destiny. That’s why I steered clear of any emotional entanglements and it had always worked just fine. And then I met you.’
‘Don’t.’ He could see her jaw working now. ‘Don’t tell me things you don’t mean.’
‘I won’t. Because what’s in it for me to make this admission, unless to admit that I’m fighting like mad to try to get you back, Sophie? To tell you that you appeal to me on every level which matters? You didn’t just break through the glass ceiling of my life—you smashed your way in, without even seeming to try. Somehow you made me confide in you. Made me realise that talking about painful stuff was the only way of letting it go. You gave me your body in the most beautiful way I could have imagined. You made the hard-bitten workers at Poonbarra fall completely under your spell, because despite everything this princess has the common touch. I fought it as hard as I knew how and I’m through with fighting because I love you, Sophie.’
‘I don’t believe you,’ she said.
‘You can’t choose who you love,’ he continued doggedly. ‘But if you could, I would still choose you. Even if you tell me you never want to see me again, I will never regret loving you, Sophie. Because somehow you’ve made me come alive. You’ve made me experience joy—only the flipside of that is the pain of missing you.’
He saw in her eyes the gleam of unshed tears, and a sudden unbearable thought occurred to him. Maybe he really had blown it with his arrogance and his fear. He felt the raw aching of his heart and then she started to speak.
‘All my life I’ve been put on a pedestal, like some kind of marble statue,’ she said. ‘And when you made love to me, you made me feel like a real woman. Only then I realised that you’ve imposed all these rules and guidelines about what I’m allowed to do and what I’m allowed to say. I’m not allowed to love you, but presumably I was going to be allowed to love our children. Only love isn’t something you can limit, or siphon off. It’s supposed to grow, Rafe. We’re supposed to spread as much of it around as we possibly can.’
‘Then spread some over me,’ he said softly, but still she shook her head.
‘What if I’m frigid?’ she demanded. ‘If that night we had sex at the palace is the way it’s going to be from now on?’
‘You think that?’
‘It’s your opinion I’m asking, Rafe.’
‘I thought you must be uptight about being in the palace and so I decided to back off—to give you the space you needed.’
Her voice trembled. ‘I thought you’d gone off me.’
‘Gone off you? Are you out of your mind? We were having a communication breakdown, which wasn’t exactly helped by palace protocol.’
He met her gaze and wondered if she could read the longing in his. She still hadn’t touched him and he thought there was still some defiance in her attitude.
‘I’m going to Paris next month. I’m taking a professional pastry course to capitalise on all the cooking I did at Poonbarra.’
‘Then I can come to Paris and work from there.’
‘Maybe I want the chance to spread my wings and live on my own for a while.’
‘Then I’ll wait until you’re ready to fly back to me.’
‘You’re so sure I would?’
‘That’s a risk I’m prepared to take.’
She looked at him. ‘Do you think you have the answer to everything, Rafe Carter?’
‘I hope so,’ he said, his voice suddenly serious. ‘Because