Healing The Md's Heart. Nicole Foster
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too involved in your personal business. Maybe I have,” she said before he could answer her. She could hear herself, knew she was doing what Nova had accused her of—throwing up obstacles to protect herself from getting in any deeper with Duran and his son. Standing up, she instinctively shifted toward the light and escape.
“Maybe you have,” Duran said, his flat agreement startling her, holding her in place. Then, with mingled regret and relief, when she thought she might be able to leave without having to confront her feelings, he knocked aside all her barriers with ridiculous ease. “But you care and I think you understand—”
“What it’s like to be afraid of losing someone you love?” she finished for him, and at his nod, thought, Oh, if you only knew.
“Duran…” She didn’t know what she was asking him, whether to stop or to continue.
He moved closer, close enough she had to look up to meet his steady gaze. Close enough for him to reach out, slowly, and trace his fingertips over her cheek.
“You’re not the only one who’s gone where they shouldn’t have,” he said softly.
“I don’t—” What? Feel this much, want this much, because of a man I hardly know? Unsettled, agitated by what she didn’t understand and her inability to control it, she finished, “I don’t know how to handle what’s happened between us. I didn’t expect to—care the way I do.”
“Neither did I. But it doesn’t seem to matter.”
“It’s the situation—Noah, and the timing, and your family,” she rushed out, grasping for a sensible explanation. “It makes everything seem more intense than it is.”
Looking doubtful, he said, “That’s part of it.”
“And you’re grateful—”
“I’m not that damned grateful, Lia.”
“You needed someone and I wanted to help.”
“No. That’s not it.”
Before she could find another reason to convince him that whatever imagined connection between them was nothing more than the heightened emotion of the circumstances, Duran slid his hand around her nape and kissed her.
She wanted it and it scared the hell out of her at the same time because of how much she wanted it. She could tell herself all day it was comfort he needed and she provided, but the feeling—too basic, too elemental—made that a lie. It was desire, although definitely not pure or simple. For long moments, she indulged it, leaning into his warmth, opening her mouth to his, taking as much as she gave because she knew it couldn’t last.
Stopping it herself would have been best. Instead, Duran abruptly ended it, letting her go and taking a step back. He looked slightly stunned, as if he couldn’t believe what he’d just done. “Lia—”
“Forget it.” Unable to look him straight in the eye, she turned away. Running a hand over her hair, she was annoyed to find it trembling. “It doesn’t mean anything.”
“Do you really believe that?” The demand for honesty in his voice compelled her to face him.
“No,” she answered truthfully, “but I need to try. I shouldn’t—none of this is very professional of me.”
“It hasn’t been very professional between us from the beginning.”
“And that makes it okay?”
“No, it complicates the hell out of things,” he said bluntly. “But it doesn’t change the way they are.”
He was right but she didn’t want him to be; she wanted to pretend she could ignore it, dismiss it and move on. Duran and her own feelings wouldn’t let her.
Brushing her hand with his, he drew her eyes back to his. “We don’t have to figure it all out tonight. Just don’t expect me to pretend it didn’t happen.”
Lia shook her head, the only answer she could give him, and she wasn’t sure if she was agreeing or denying him. Both felt like the wrong choice.
Chapter Five
“I’m sorry to keep you waiting so long.” Lia hurried into the pediatrician’s patient room, interrupting Duran’s agitated pacing. “Overscheduling seems to be the rule these days,” she said, closing the door behind her.
The tension radiating from him was like a living thing in the room. He offered her little more than a terse nod in reply.
“Noah’s not with you?”
“Josh and Eliana offered to look after him while we talked. They’re meeting me here later,” he said tightly. “You said you’d rather talk to me alone.”
He didn’t look happy with that, but Lia knew it was better this way. “Did they bring Sammy along?” she asked, thinking Eliana’s little brother, only a year older than Noah, would have helped distract Noah from being away from his father again.
“Yeah, Noah was excited. He can’t get enough of his new family. Look, Lia, can we avoid the chitchat and get on with it? It’s been over a week and I don’t do waiting well, especially when it comes to this.”
Lia drew in a breath. She had rehearsed since the moment she’d gotten the results of his brothers’ blood tests. She had to make it clear that while there was hope, she could promise nothing at this point. And, despite the feelings, real or imagined, that had passed between Duran and her, first and foremost, she had to remain professional.
But more and more that obligation was becoming a challenge that was harder to meet. She’d deliberately avoided close contact with Duran in the past days, making sure the few times she did see him were because of Noah and always at the hospital or her office. It didn’t make it any easier to ignore the attraction between them and to pretend he’d never kissed her. She couldn’t ignore or forget, not with him ever present in her thoughts, despite her best efforts to relegate him to a safe father-of-patient status only.
He was watching her now with barely concealed impatience. Putting herself in doctor mode, she said, “I have good news.”
Duran stared at her, frozen in place, as if he were waiting for a blow and certain she was going to take her words back. “Go on.”
“Sawyer is a match for Noah.”
He said nothing, just stood there.
“It’s true, Duran,” Lia said softly. Moving close to him, she put a gentle hand on his arm. “Sawyer’s tests came back as a perfect match. There’s a very good chance he’ll be able to be a donor for Noah.”
A tremor passed over him and he swayed slightly, causing Lia to grab for the nearest chair and pull it near enough for him to collapse into it.
“I—I can’t believe…” he rasped. “All this time—and finally…” He leaned forward and dropped his head to his hands.
An ache tightened her chest and throat, threatening to become tears. All these years of fear and anguished waiting, wondering if and when he would lose his son forever. Had he ever truly let himself believe Noah had a chance for a normal life? Or had he resigned himself to the inevitable, certain that with so few close blood family members, the chance Noah would find a compatible donor in time was virtually impossible?
It wasn’t professional or even wise, but she didn’t care as she knelt beside him and put her arm around him; her instinct to comfort him was stronger than any common sense dictated.
His body shook with his effort to bank the tumult of emotions she knew he must be feeling. It touched her in a way for which she had no response except to tighten her hold, to offer him an anchor in the storm.
“It’s okay,” she murmured, stroking his hair. “You don’t always have to be strong. And you don’t always have to do it