Confessions. Lisa Jackson
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behind dark glasses, continually scanned the crowd for Hayden. She knew she was being foolish, but she couldn’t stop herself from searching the groups of people. Surely he would attend. His father was here, glad-handing and acting just like one of the men who worked for him. He pitched horseshoes, downed beer and told off-color jokes with his employees. Dressed in crisp jeans and a polo shirt, he squired his wife, Sylvia Fitzgerald Monroe, through the tents and games. Hayden’s mother managed to smile, though no light of laughter lit her cool blue eyes. Her silver-blond hair was coiled into a French braid at the back of her head and the nails of her fingers were painted a dusty shade of rose, the same color as her jumpsuit. A delicate scarf was pinned around her neck and diamonds winked at her earlobes.
Hayden was nowhere in sight.
Nadine tried to hide her disappointment and pretended interest in a game of water volleyball, but she wished she’d catch a glimpse of him.
“You’re still mad at me,” Sam said, touching her arm.
“I’m not mad.”
“Just because I tied one on. It was a stupid thing to do and I’m sorry. It won’t happen again. Come on, Nadine, don’t hold a couple of drinks against me.”
“It was more than a couple.”
“I got a little out of hand—”
“You threw up all over the back porch, Sam,” she said, irritated. Even her parents had been angry.
“I’m sorry. Forgive me?” he asked.
“Nothing to forgive.” She leaned forward and wrapped her arms around her knees. Sam had added liquor to his soda last night, and it was the first time Nadine had ever seen him drunk.
Leaning back on his elbows, Sam adjusted his sunglasses to protect his eyes. He had sobered up since the night before and was suffering with a hangover. His skin was paler than usual and two aspirin hadn’t seemed to help to ease the pain of what he called a thundering headache. “Don’t tell me. I know,” he said, wincing as a ten-year-old boy set off a string of firecrackers against all park and company regulations. The kid was promptly scolded by his mother. “I deserve this.” Sam reached for her hand and held it between two of his. “I probably wouldn’t have gotten so drunk if you wouldn’t have been in such a rotten mood.”
“So now it’s my fault?” she asked, removing her hand and feeling uneasy.
“What’s going on, Nadine? Something’s not right—and don’t bother trying to deny it.”
She couldn’t. It was time to be honest with Sam. She owed him that much. “I...I just think we shouldn’t see so much of each other,” she said in a quick rush of breath.
Sam didn’t move a muscle, just continued staring across the lake. “So much of each other?”
“Yes...”
“You want to date other guys?”
“I—”
“Who?” he demanded, suddenly facing her. His face suffused with color while his lips turned white.
“Who what?”
“Who is he?” he asked, his voice low. “There’s someone else, isn’t there?”
“No one special,” she lied.
“Like hell! Dammit, Nadine, where’d you meet him?” he demanded, suddenly furious.
“I just think it’s time we saw other people. That’s all.”
“Why now?” He glanced around, as if he expected one of the boys at the picnic to come up to Nadine and claim her as his own. “It’s not like we’re going steady or anything.”
Nadine tucked a strand of hair around her ear and hoped their conversation didn’t carry to other knots of people crowded around the stretch of beach. “In this town, two dates with one person is the same thing as going steady. You and I both know it. People couple up.”
“And you don’t want to be part of a couple.”
She steeled herself. She didn’t want to hurt him, but she couldn’t live a lie. “Not right now, Sam.”
His shoulders slumped as if with an invisible weight, and she felt instantly sorry for him. She liked Sam, she did. But he wanted their relationship to deepen, and he wasn’t the boy for her. The sooner he knew it, the better for him, she reasoned, but couldn’t help feeling like a heel.
And just who is the boy for you? Hayden Garreth Monroe IV? She frowned and picked up a small stone, skipping it along the surface of the lake and watching the rings of water ripple in perfect circles.
“I guess this is it, then,” Sam finally said, his jaw set in stony determination.
“We—”
“Don’t say ‘we can still be friends,’ Nadine, because we can’t. At least I can’t. Not right away.”
“I didn’t mean to—”
He waved off her apology, stood and without a look over his shoulder, found his way to a pack of his friends who were hanging out with Joe Knapp, Bobby Kramer, Rachelle Tremont and her younger sister, Heather. Rachelle was a striking girl with long, mahogany-brown hair, and hazel eyes that were as intelligent as they were beautiful. Heather was blonde and petite, but much more outgoing than her older sister. Though the youngest member of the group, she was the center of several boys’ attention, including Sam’s as he sidled up to them.
Nadine let out a sigh of relief and wiped the sweat from her forehead. Thunderclouds rolled over the mountains, gray and ominous and burgeoning with rain.
Tossing another stone into the water, Nadine closed her eyes, and silently wished that she’d see Hayden again soon.
Forty-five minutes later, as the pig was being carved, a speedboat jetted toward the dock. Nadine’s heart leapt as she recognized Hayden steering the boat inland. But her euphoria was quickly doused as she noticed his passenger—a tall, willowy girl who hopped out of the boat before Hayden could set the moorings.
His date was gorgeous. Her short blond hair was thick and streaked in shades of gold. A white sundress showed off a tan and legs that seemed to go on forever. At five-eight or -nine, she was model-thin and radiant. An effortless smile played upon her full lips as she grabbed hold of the crook of Hayden’s arm and made a beeline toward his parents.
Sylvia Monroe embraced her and Hayden’s father winked and gave her an affectionate pat on her rump while Hayden glowered and the girl, Wynona Galveston, Nadine guessed, was still linked to Hayden. She said something clever, everyone but Hayden laughed and Garreth herded them into one of the shaded tents.
Nadine felt as if a trailerload of stones had been dumped into her heart. Wretchedly she sat alone on her blanket, pretending interest in the swim races being organized for the children, while inside she was miserable. How could she have thought he cared for her—a simple, not-all-that-pretty country girl—when he was used to such sophisticated beauty? She felt incredibly naive and wretched inside.
Avoiding Hayden, she wished she could think of an excuse to go home. She didn’t have a ride, unless her father drove her, and from the looks of him, his face starting to flush with the combination of too much hazy sun and beer, a smile fixed onto his face, she doubted he would want to end the party.
Her mother, too, seemed content to sit and gossip with the other women while fanning herself with her fingers. Ben, with Patty Osgood, was having the time of his life. Even Kevin was laughing and joking with his friends and a few younger kids.
Sam was already gaining the attention of some of the girls, but Nadine didn’t care. He deserved someone who could care for him more deeply than she could. As for Hayden, he didn’t seem to be having much more fun than she.
She was shoving around the scalloped potatoes on her plate when Ben plopped down beside her at the picnic table. “So, it