Groom Wanted. Debra Ullrick
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when I looked through the papers for the one I’d placed. We obviously posted ads for a spouse at the same time.”
Oh, no. He did know. Fear dug its claws into her chest.
“You don’t look too good. You okay?”
She nodded, then changing her mind, she slowly shook her head. “No.” She gazed up at him, imploring her eyes to show how much this affected her. “Please don’t tell my family.”
“You mean they don’t know?”
“No. I didn’t tell them. Please don’t say anything to them, Jake. Promise me you won’t.” Desperation pricked her skin.
He ran his fingers down the place that once had a thick, dark blond mustache but now only held stubble and kept repeating the action. “On one condition.” His gunmetal-gray eyes snagged onto hers.
“What’s that?” Worry nipped at the heels of her mind as she waited for his response.
“That you’ll help me pick out a wife.” He held his own package of letters up, and his lips tilted into that normally lazy, crooked grin of his. The one that really was quite endearing.
“Are you serious?”
“Yep. Sure am.”
“Why do you need me to help you do that?”
“’Cause. I don’t trust myself. When it comes to women, I haven’t had the best of luck.”
Heat rushed to her cheeks. Turning down Jake’s marriage-of-convenience proposal a couple months back had nothing to do with his luck with women but with her wanting to flee this place. “What makes you think I’ll do any better?”
“You’re a great judge of character, and you know me better than anyone else. Not only that— Women seem to have a sense about these things. Men don’t. So. Do we have ourselves an agreement or not?” He held his hand out for her to shake.
She stared at it, debating what to do, until she realized she didn’t have any other choice. Having peace in her life depended on her moving. With a short nod, she clasped his hand, and gave it a quick shake before releasing it. “Agreed.”
* * *
Jake shook Leah’s hand and plastered a smile on his face. He wasn’t kidding when he said he needed help picking out a wife. His past record had proven that. At eighteen he’d asked Gabby Marcel to marry him, but she’d said no, saying she wanted to marry Jeffrey Smith. He didn’t even know she liked the man. Jake thought Gabby was in love with him, but she’d just used him to get close to his friend. Backfired on her big time. Jeffrey wanted nothing to do with her and neither had Jake after that.
Then a few months back Leah had turned him down, too, saying she had her reasons and that it had nothing to do with him, but her.
Too bad she hadn’t accepted his proposal. He didn’t blame her for rejecting him, though. Nothing had been mentioned about love. Only about how it would be nice since they were friends and all. A friendship he treasured and didn’t want to lose. Jake’s hope at the time had been that if they did marry one day his heart would love Leah the way a man loves a woman, but right now he only felt friendship toward her. So, it was probably best she’d turned him down.
Besides, she was way out of his league, anyway. Going from a large home to a small three-room house would be hard for anyone used to living in the luxury she was accustomed to. Plus, staying where she was, Leah never had to want for anything. If she married him, she would. Oh, he could support her by keeping food on the table and clothes on her back, but there wouldn’t be much left for anything extra. And the woman deserved every good thing life had to offer. None of that mattered now, anyway. Leah had made it clear that nothing would stop her from moving back to New York. Why she wanted to go there, he had no idea.
Personally, he hated the city and would go crazy if he ever went to one again.
Literally.
His childhood had seen to that. In 1864 fire blazed throughout Atlantic City. The crowd had gone berserk trying to flee to safety and in the process he had gotten separated from his mother. The crowd trampled him, leaving him for dead at six years old. Ever since then, he had a fear of crowds. He could be around a small group of people, but he couldn’t handle being closed in a building or surrounded by people—he felt trapped. For twenty-two of his twenty-eight years he’d tried to overcome his fear. Had even made a trip back to Atlantic City. Big mistake that was. While walking down the crowded streets, suddenly everyone seemed as if they were right on top of him again, just like when he was six.
He’d felt trapped.
Closed in, even.
His heart had pounded hard and fast, his breathing came in short gasps, his arms felt heavy, his palms coated with moisture, and his head swam until his vision clouded.
The need to flee had pressed in on him.
Only when he had escaped to an open field had his heart stopped racing and his breathing returned to normal.
Even now, whenever he found himself crowded in, even by the smallest mob of people, fear stampeded over him. His only recourse was to get alone until his heart and breathing returned to normal and the fear lifted. When people asked him what was wrong, he’d make up an excuse because a long time ago, he’d learned not to tell anyone or ask for help. The few times he had he’d been made fun of and he hated how small that made him feel. For a man his size, it was hard to make him feel small, but ridicule did. The worst part of this whole thing was his phobia punctured the dream of him ever moving to New York to be with Leah.
“You do know, Jake, that I will have to bring Abby with me again. Propriety and all that, you know.” Leah’s voice snatched his mind back from the dark caves of the past. “That means she’ll know what you’re doing, too.”
“Already figured as much. Wouldn’t have it any other way. Wouldn’t do anything to ruin your reputation, even if that means having Abby know what I’m up to.” He gave a quick nod. “So be it. Besides, I enjoy your sister. Who wouldn’t? She’s a pistol.”
“She sure is. A very discreet pistol, though, I assure you.” Leah smiled and the dimples on each side of her pink lips winked.
“Well, let’s get this over with.”
“Have to put it that way?”
Leah waved her hand, “No, no. I didn’t mean it like that. I just meant...”
He placed his fingertips on her soft lips. “It’s okay, Leah. You don’t have to explain. I know what you meant. Was just teasing you.” When he realized where his fingers were, he quickly removed them.
“When do you want to start?” She fiddled with the strings of her reticule.
“Now, if that works for you.”
Leah’s gaze brushed his. She tilted her head in that cute way of hers, then stared at him as if she were considering his offer.
“Hmm.” She settled her fingertip against her lips. “I am finished in town, and Mother isn’t expecting me until later. So now will work just fine. I’ll run and go get Abby, then follow you to your place.”
“No.”
“What do you mean, ‘no’?” Leah tilted her head even farther and a blond lock slipped across her eye.
He reached to brush it away, then snatched his hand back to his side. Doing that seemed intimate somehow. A line friends didn’t cross. “Think about it, Leah. How would that look, us riding off together?”
Leah tapped her forehead. “How could I have been so dim-witted? Of course, you’re right. Thank you, Jake.”
He glanced out to the dirt street that ran right through town. “Tell you what. I’ll head on out now. You and Abby leave ten or fifteen minutes after me?”
“What time is it now?”