Sex For Dummies. Dr. Ruth K. Westheimer

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Sex For Dummies - Dr. Ruth K. Westheimer


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Diagram of the human vulva composed of Mons pubis, clitoris, labia majora, labia minora, perineum, and anus.

      Illustration by Kathryn Born

      FIGURE 3-1: The vulva: one cylinder, and it’s not made in Sweden.

      The part of the female genitals that you can see is called the vulva, which lies between the mons pubis and the anus. The mons pubis (also called mons veneris, which in Latin stands for “mound of Venus”) is a layer of fatty tissue that lies above the pubic bone, basically acting as a bumper. That part of the female is easily identified because it’s covered with pubic hair. The anus is … oh, you know what an anus is because, whichever sex you are, you have one. And the area between the genital organ and the anus is called the perineum. In many people, both women and men, this is a sensitive spot.

      Viva the vulva

      The vulva has large outer lips called the labia majora (which is Latin for, you guessed it, large outer lips). Inside these lips are

       the labia minora (smaller inner lips)

       the clitoris (a woman’s most sensitive spot)

       the urethra (from which urine is passed)

       the vestibule (not a place to hang your hat and coat)

      The vestibule is the actual entrance to the vagina and is covered by a membrane called the hymen. When a woman is aroused, the vestibular bulbs, which lie underneath, swell with blood and become engorged, somewhat like a penis — which only makes sense, because they’re made from the same spongy tissue as the penis.

      Whether you’re looking at Figure 3-1 or the real thing right now, remember that not all vulvas look alike. In the same way that you’ll encounter different models of Volvos, you’ll come across many different shaped vulvas as well — but they will all take you where you want to go. You certainly shouldn’t be ashamed of the way you look, whether your vulva is of a more common variety or not. And as far as partners are concerned, the very fact that they’re seeing this part of your anatomy is all they need to get so excited that they’ll appreciate any model you happen to have.

      In the early weeks of a baby’s formation, when it is still an embryo, the male and female genitals look basically the same because many of the same tissues form both the male and female genitals. For example, the tissues that form the labia majora in the female are the same tissues that form the scrotum in the male. Upon completion, however, these genitals end up taking different forms. (And a good thing too.)

The labia majora are made up of two rounded mounds of tissue that form the outer boundaries of the vulva (see Figure 3-2). After puberty, hair grows on them, as well as on the mons pubis. The skin of the labia majora is usually darker than the surrounding skin of the thighs. Within the majora are the smaller labia minora. They surround the vestibule and are hairless. The labia minora join at the top to form the prepuce, or clitoral hood.

Diagram of the innards of the human vulva composed of clitoral hood, clitoris, urethra, labia majora, labia minora, vaginal opening, a ruptured hymen, and a vestibule.

      Illustration by Kathryn Born

      FIGURE 3-2: The innards of the vulva.

      These days, with women wearing skimpier bathing suits and underwear, and with oral sex being more and more common, many women are concerned about the amount of hair they have covering their genitalia. It’s normal for hair to grow from the navel to the anus and down to the thighs. Whether you prefer the “natural” look, a bit of a trim, or going completely bare is a personal preference and may depend on how much energy you have to maintain your pubic hair. In fact, you can change your “hairdo” as often as you like.

      

I worry when young women shave their pubic hair out of shame. There’s nothing shameful about pubic hair or any other aspect of your genitalia.

      Where the upper ends of the labia minora meet lays the clitoris, the principal organ of female sexual pleasure. Pea sized (see more in note below), the clitoris develops from the same tissue as does the penis. Also like the penis, the clitoris has a shaft and a head (glans) and gets engorged with blood during sexual excitement and grows, though certainly not to the extent that a penis does. The clitoris is covered by a clitoral hood, which protects the clitoris much like the foreskin on the male penis. (To better understand a man’s anatomy, see Chapter 2.) The clitoris has many nerve endings and is a very erogenous organ, critical for a woman’s orgasm. (See Chapter 12 for more on attaining orgasms.)

      Though a lot smaller in size, the clitoris has about the same number of nerve endings as a penis, which is why many women can’t tolerate direct stimulation of the clitoris but prefer to have the area over the hood and the mons pubis stimulated instead.

      SIZE MIGHT MATTER

      What you see when looking at your clitoris is only a small portion as three-fourths of it lies buried within and is not visible. The visible portion varies in size from woman to woman and in location. The differences aren’t great but may be significant, as research has shown that women with a smaller exposed clitoris may have more difficulties reaching orgasm and that the placement can also have a positive or negative effect. The bottom line is that while all women should be able to have orgasms from having their clitoris stimulated, some may need more stimulation than others.

      

The clitoris, like the penis, can accumulate smegma — a combination of secretions, skin cells, and bacteria — under the clitoral hood. You should be careful to clean this area thoroughly. If too much smegma accumulates, you may have to ask your gynecologist to do a thorough cleaning.


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