10,000 NOs. Matthew Del Negro
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and sports legends, you're bound to uncover one of the great contradictions of the motivational world: that everyone who has risen to the top of their field claims to be “the hardest worker in the room.” From Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson to Will Smith to Ultimate Fighting Champion Conor McGregor, every one of them will tell you, “I'll die before I'm outworked.” Well, for the sake of our culture and entertainment, let's hope all three of them are never training in the same room. All kidding aside, the point is that, for anyone who wants to make a major impact along the lines of Oprah, Mother Theresa, or that incredible kindergarten teacher at your child's school, a strong work ethic is required.
Nature versus Nurture
While there are many areas in my life where I do not feel naturally gifted, I was blessed with a relatively strong work ethic right out of the womb. Some of my earliest memories involve a fascination with chipping away at a task or skill in order to reach a goal that was not within my immediate grasp. This is not to say that I didn't enjoy lying around watching movies or daydreaming as a child, but I'm guessing that if you asked anyone who has known me throughout the various stages of my life, they'd bring up my work ethic pretty early in the conversation. Not only did my work ethic feel like it was in the fabric of my DNA, it was also honed by parents who were first-generation Americans and grandparents who told me stories of making the transition from Italy to the United States and then weathering the Great Depression. There were so many stories about sacrificing now in order to benefit later that somehow it all seeped into my subconscious.
Friend and former 10,000 NOs podcast guest Bedros Keuilian coined the term “the immigrant edge” to describe how his humble roots give him an advantage now. His father risked a lot to get the Keuilian family out from under Soviet rule to the freedom of the United States. But just being in America did not mean their troubles were gone. When he was young, Keuilian would be hoisted up into dumpsters behind grocery stores by his father to scrounge for food that had been thrown away after its official expiration date. He credits his success as an entrepreneur to his identification with the honey badger, an animal known for its ability to work feverishly and single-mindedly in pursuit of food and whatever else it needs. Those qualities, he says, came from growing up with less than everyone around him and having parents who taught him the value of hard work.
If you did not have that kind of influence, the good news is that work ethic can be learned, trained, and coaxed out of its dark cave if you have the right piece of meat to lure it. This point may be best illustrated by 10,000 NOs guest Terry Knickerbocker's journey. Knickerbocker, an acting teacher with his own studio in Brooklyn, New York, is known for guiding actors like Sam Rockwell into Oscar-winning performances. The signature quality cited by Knickerbocker's students, clients, and employees is his incredibly detailed and dedicated work ethic. But earlier in his life, he was a self-described underachiever who would get high all the time beginning in the ninth grade. His appetite for work was only whetted when he discovered his passion for acting. He began to get roles, but soon realized his raw talent would only take him so far.
“I didn't know what the hell I was doing, but I kept on getting these parts. I realized I reached a plateau here and I needed to train.”
—Terry Knickerbocker, Acting Coach
Prior to being considered one of the best acting coaches in a highly competitive industry, Knickerbocker failed out of Boston University. It was not a lack of ability or intelligence that cut his undergraduate studies short. It was a failure to show up to class that undid him. Regardless of the size of your talent or your natural-born abilities, if you fail to work hard or to do so consistently, you will never reach your potential. You may get by. You may even excel in comparison to your competition. But you will never be able to look yourself in the eye with the pride that comes from knowing you gave it your all.
“You can be like Jack Horner and chisel a plum
And think you're a wonderful guy.
But the Man in the Glass says you're only a bum
If you can't look him square in the eye.”
—“The Guy in the Glass,” Dale Wimbrow
Passion and interest certainly play a part in consistently chipping away at a goal for long periods of time. But something that I think may be overlooked by many, which is the key to increasing a strong work ethic, is the mindset that usually accompanies this process. Contrary to what many people may believe, almost every high achiever known for their incredible work ethic developed it because a voice inside their head told them that their God-given talent on its own was not good enough to get them to where they wanted to be.
“We are not particularly well-spoken, we are not particularly good-looking, we are not particularly intelligent, we are … generally speaking a B-minus across the board, and yet we just fucking killed ourselves, and worked our asses off and found a way to push that boulder up the mountain. And I think people look at us, and rightfully so, and they think, ‘If those guys can do it, I think anybody can do this.’”
—Mark Duplass, Filmmaker and Actor, on the massive success he and his brother have had in Hollywood circumnavigating the system
The fact that these people have accomplished so much, and are many times rewarded with prestigious accolades or larger-than-average financial rewards, has caused others to incorrectly deduce that these people were just born “better than the rest of us.” Someone watching a highlight reel of NBA star Steph Curry draining three-pointer buzzer-beaters in high-pressure games might think he's just a more naturally gifted shooter than the majority of his basketball counterparts. While he does possess an enormous amount of athletic ability, the painstaking detail and consistency that goes into his daily shooting regimen is well-known and something he often speaks about. A similar narrative carries across all industries, whether we are talking about an athlete, actor, comedian, CEO, or politician. These superstars' work ethics are their common thread, like an insurance policy against chance and mere talent.
Getting to Know Fear
Let's break down the psychology of a strong work ethic. Bumper stickers abound spouting slogans like “No Fear.” But perhaps my friend and former podcast guest Tony Blauer has it more accurate with his own company, Know Fear. Blauer is one of the world's top self-defense experts, having trained scores of Tier One Operators (a.k.a. Navy SEALs, Army Rangers, etc.) as well as housewives and everyday citizens. His philosophy is that, rather than stick our heads in the sand pretending we are safe, we need to familiarize ourselves with fear. We need to be incredibly aware of our surroundings and the potential for danger at any time, whether it be from an assailant on the street or a car in an oncoming traffic lane. Blauer teaches that it is only in leaning into the fear and sadness of losing one's loved ones that people are motivated to take the proper precautions to reduce the chances of that happening. Fear, in this case, becomes the motivator that signs us up to get the training necessary to protect ourselves and our families. That training and awareness can be considered “good work ethic” within the realm of self-defense.
As an actor, I know fear every time I'm on a new set in a new role. My consistent training has reduced this fear. And over time, my experience has provided me examples that I can draw from, of times where I have overcome my fear in the past, which helps me to keep it in check. But new environments can bring new challenges that sometimes make me feel like I'm starting all over again. When I was young and I'd hear a legendary actor like Gene Hackman wonder if he was ever going to work again once he wrapped a film, I thought it was an insincere ploy for sympathy. But now, as a consistently working actor myself, I finally understand his statement. The years have taught me that I can never predict what is coming next. Likewise, on a new set with new players and material, a fear that I won't have what it takes to hack it can sometimes creep into my psyche. My specific career, where much of my work has consisted of extended stints on other people's shows, has brought this challenge up for me repeatedly.
The West Wing Experience