Wrangling The Cowboy's Heart. Carolyne Aarsen
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“Since I haven’t found anyone who interests me enough to think of settling down, I prefer to be the one in charge. Be the one walking away.”
As soon as the words left her lips, she realized how they might sound to her sister, whose fiancé had walked away from her the morning of their wedding.
“Sorry,” she said quietly. “I didn’t mean to say that.”
“Doesn’t matter,” Lauren muttered, but Jodie could see from the tightness around her lips that it did. Jodie had been with her sister when she’d gotten the news. Lauren had been just about to put on her wedding dress. Instead, her normally composed sister had kicked it aside, tossed her bouquet down and stormed out of the room, leaving Erin and Jodie to take care of all the details.
“Anyway, I don’t want to be tied down.”
“Well, with the life you live, you don’t have time to give anyone else a chance,” Lauren said, lifting her head. “Maybe staying in one place for two months might be just what you need.”
Much as Jodie trumpeted her freedom, the idea of being at the ranch held a reluctant allure. The past couple years she’d had a curious yearning, the strange feeling that she’d been missing something. The trips, the traveling, the work—nothing satisfied her as it used to. She couldn’t quite put her finger on why.
“And maybe, if you stay in one place, you might have time to spend with Finn again,” Lauren continued.
Jodie started. “What are you talking about?”
“I saw how you watched him at the funeral service, and then the reception after,” Lauren said, giving her sister a vague smile.
“I was thinking about how he stopped me for speeding.”
“Oh, c’mon. He was just doing his job. And look how sweet he is, chatting up the locals over at the other table.”
Finn was here? Jodie couldn’t resist a glance over her shoulder.
Deputy Hicks stood by a table, talking with a group of older women. He seemed to dominate the space, his back ramrod straight, his white shirt and blue jeans softening his military stance. It shouldn’t surprise her that Finn had ended up in law enforcement. The man had made no secret of his admiration for her father.
“A little too ‘serve and protect’ for my liking. Like Dad. No, thanks,” she said, with what she hoped was a dismissive tone.
Then Finn turned around and looked her way. Their eyes met across the distance and his expression altered. In that moment Jodie felt a whisper of the old attraction.
No. Not for you, she told herself. You and guys equal disaster. Especially someone like Finn.
She dragged her eyes away, focusing on her onion rings. Then felt Lauren’s foot nudging her under the table. “He’s coming this way,” she hissed. “Fix your lipstick.”
Jodie gave her sister the evil eye, hoping she got the message—Not Interested.
“Afternoon, ladies,” Finn said, looking from Jodie to Lauren. “I thought I would come by to say hello again. Hope this day wasn’t too difficult for you. I know it didn’t start off the best.”
He caught Jodie’s eye and she knew he referred to their interaction this morning. She blushed, thinking of her smart remarks, but brushed the memory aside.
“We’ll get through it.” She gave him a polite smile.
“I didn’t have time to tell you after the funeral, but I wanted to say how thankful I always was for your father’s support. He was a good man. He missed you girls a lot. He often spoke about you and how he wished you could visit more often.”
Jodie took a moment to respond to that, then felt another nudge from her sister’s toe.
“I’m sure he did,” she finally replied. “It’s been difficult to find time to come.”
Her empty words sounded shallow, even to her. She’d managed to find time to go to Asia, India and Paris, but not a trip to Saddlebank? But she wasn’t about to apologize for her lack of filial duty.
“I also thought I should let you know that Vic and I will be coming to your place tomorrow. Your dad let Vic pasture a bunch of his horses there, and we want to sort them out of your father’s herd. I wanted to give you a heads up in case you’re wondering what’s going on.”
“Thanks for telling us,” Lauren said. “Jodie will be staying at the ranch, so if you need anything you can ask her.”
Jodie pushed her sister’s foot this time, but Lauren smiled, ignoring her.
“I think we’ll be okay. And I wish you girls the best,” he said, looking from one to the other. “Hope settling the estate won’t be too painful and you manage to find some happier memories.” Just before he left, his eyes met Jodie’s.
And for a heartbeat their gazes locked and she wondered if he was referring to their shared past.
Then he put his hat back on his head and left. The moment was gone.
Jodie grabbed an onion ring and swiped it through the pile of ketchup on her plate, surprised at the emotions churning through her where Finn was concerned.
Lauren leaned forward, her eyes glinting with amusement. “I think he still likes you. I saw how he stared at you now.”
“You saw what you wanted to see. I saw a man who thinks we’re lousy daughters who didn’t visit a man he thought the sun rose and set on.”
“He was just making conversation. He still seems interested in you.”
“Maybe it was you he was interested in,” Jodie countered. “I was the one that stood him up, remember? Besides, he’s a deputy now. Not the kind of guy I’d be attracted to. Been there, done that.”
“Not all men are like Dad, you know,” Lauren said. “And not all men are like Lane. Once upon a time you were attracted to Finn.”
Jodie’s only answer was to take a bite of her pizza. Her sister was right, but she wasn’t about to let someone like Finn into her life again.
He was too much a reminder of all that she had lost. All that her father had taken away. And she couldn’t let herself feel that vulnerable again.
Jodie stepped into the house, déjà vu washing over her as the faintest scent of onions and bacon, her father’s favorite foods, wafted past her. Vague evidence that he had been here only a week ago.
Pain clenched her heart. Pain and regret, coupled with a wish that Lauren could have come with her to the Rocking M.
Her sister had had to leave early this morning to catch a plane, so last night they’d stayed in Saddlebank’s only motel, then gone their separate ways at dawn.
Jodie toed off her boots and put them on the shelf under the coatrack. She set her suitcase on the old wooden bench, as she and her sisters always did the day they arrived at the ranch. For a fraction of a moment loneliness nudged her at the sight of her lone suitcase. There should be two more.
She paused, listening, but the only sounds in the stillness were the ticking of the grandfather clock in the living room and the hum of the refrigerator in the rear.
Hugging herself, she walked through the house to the kitchen. A breakfast bar bisected the space, separating the cooking area from the rest of the room. She and her sisters had spent a lot of time there, laughing as they created unique meals using the minimal ingredients available to them. Their father had never been big on shopping.
A large room took up the far end of the house, the ceiling soaring two stories high. The dining room table with its five mismatched chairs filled one side, while couches and