The Greatest Works of Charlotte Perkins Gilman. Charlotte Perkins Gilman
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should think you'd be ashamed, to make your aunt so much trouble. They said you were suspended—or—expelled!"
He shrugged his big shoulders and threw away the handful of broken twigs.
"That's true enough—I might as well admit that."
"Oh, Morton!—I didn't believe it. Expelled!"
"Yes, expelled—turned down—thrown out—fired! And I'm glad of it." He leaned back against the fence and whistled very softly through his teeth.
"Sh! Sh!" she urged. "Please!"
He was quiet.
"But Morton—what are you going to do?—Won't it spoil your career?"
"No, my dear little girl, it will not!" said he. "On the contrary, it will be the making of me. I tell you, Vivian, I'm sick to death of this town of maiden ladies—and 'good family men.' I'm sick of being fussed over for ever and ever, and having wristers and mufflers knitted for me—and being told to put on my rubbers! There's no fun in this old clamshell—this kitchen-midden of a town—and I'm going to quit it."
He stood up and stretched his long arms. "I'm going to quit it for good and all."
The girl sat still, her hands gripping the seat on either side.
"Where are you going?" she asked in a low voice.
"I'm going west—clear out west. I've been talking with Aunt Rella about it. Dr. Bellair'll help me to a job, she thinks. She's awful cut up, of course. I'm sorry she feels bad—but she needn't, I tell her. I shall do better there than I ever should have here. I know a fellow that left college—his father failed—and he went into business and made two thousand dollars in a year. I always wanted to take up business—you know that!"
She knew it—he had talked of it freely before they had argued and persuaded him into the college life. She knew, too, how his aunt's hopes all centered in him, and in his academic honors and future professional life. "Business," to his aunt's mind, was a necessary evil, which could at best be undertaken only after a "liberal education."
"When are you going," she asked at length.
"Right off—to-morrow."
She gave a little gasp.
"That's what I was whippoorwilling about—I knew I'd get no other chance to talk to you—I wanted to say good-by, you know."
The girl sat silent, struggling not to cry. He dropped beside her, stole an arm about her waist, and felt her tremble.
"Now, Viva, don't you go and cry! I'm sorry—I really am sorry—to make you feel bad."
This was too much for her, and she sobbed frankly.
"Oh, Morton! How could you! How could you!—And now you've got to go away!"
"There now—don't cry—sh!—they'll hear you."
She did hush at that.
"And don't feel so bad—I'll come back some time—to see you."
"No, you won't!" she answered with sudden fierceness. "You'll just go—and stay—and I never shall see you again!"
He drew her closer to him. "And do you care—so much—Viva?"
"Of course, I care!" she said, "Haven't we always been friends, the best of friends?"
"Yes—you and Aunt Rella have been about all I had," he admitted with a cheerful laugh. "I hope I'll make more friends out yonder. But Viva,"—his hand pressed closer—"is it only—friends?"
She took fright at once and drew away from him. "You mustn't do that, Morton!"
"Do what?" A shaft of moonlight shone on his teasing face. "What am I doing?" he said.
It is difficult—it is well nigh impossible—for a girl to put a name to certain small cuddlings not in themselves terrifying, nor even unpleasant, but which she obscurely feels to be wrong.
Viva flushed and was silent—he could see the rich color flood her face.
"Come now—don't be hard on a fellow!" he urged. "I shan't see you again in ever so long. You'll forget all about me before a year's over."
She shook her head, still silent.
"Won't you speak to me—Viva?"
"I wish——" She could not find the words she wanted. "Oh, I wish you—wouldn't!"
"Wouldn't what, Girlie? Wouldn't go away? Sorry to disoblige—but I have to. There's no place for me here."
The girl felt the sad truth of that.
"Aunt Rella will get used to it after a while. I'll write to her—I'll make lots of money—and come back in a few years—astonish you all!—Meanwhile—kiss me good-by, Viva!"
She drew back shyly. She had never kissed him. She had never in her life kissed any man younger than an uncle.
"No, Morton—you mustn't——" She shrank away into the shadow.
But, there was no great distance to shrink to, and his strong arms soon drew her close again.
"Suppose you never see me again," he said. "Then you'll wish you hadn't been so stiff about it."
She thought of this dread possibility with a sudden chill of horror, and while she hesitated, he took her face between her hands and kissed her on the mouth.
Steps were heard coming down the path.
"They're on," he said with a little laugh. "Good-by, Viva!"
He vaulted the fence and was gone.
"What are you doing here, Vivian?" demanded her father.
"I was saying good-by to Morton," she answered with a sob.
"You ought to be ashamed of yourself—philandering out here in the middle of the night with that scapegrace! Come in the house and go to bed at once—it's ten o'clock."
Bowing to this confused but almost equally incriminating chronology, she followed him in, meekly enough as to her outward seeming, but inwardly in a state of stormy tumult.
She had been kissed!
Her father's stiff back before her could not blot out the radiant, melting moonlight, the rich sweetness of the flowers, the tender, soft, June night.
"You go to bed," said he once more. "I'm ashamed of you."
"Yes, father," she answered.
Her little room, when at last she was safely in it and had shut the door and put a chair against it—she had no key—seemed somehow changed.
She lit the lamp and stood looking at herself in the mirror. Her eyes were star-bright. Her cheeks flamed softly. Her mouth looked guilty and yet glad.
She put the light out and went to the window, kneeling there, leaning out in the fragrant stillness, trying to arrange in her mind this mixture of grief, disapproval, shame and triumph.
When the Episcopal church clock struck eleven, she went to bed in guilty haste, but not to sleep.
For a long time she lay there watching the changing play of moonlight on the floor.
She felt almost as if she were married.
CHAPTER II. BAINVILLE EFFECTS.
Lockstep, handcuffs, ankle-ball-and-chain,
Dulltoil and dreary food and drink;
Small cell, cold cell, narrow