The Collected Works of Anton Chekhov. Anton Chekhov
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peasants) made of the finest cloth; high boots; his chest covered with orders, medals, and a solid gold chain with trinkets; has expensive rings on his fingers.)
SCENE IV
The same and FYODOR
FYODOR: How do you do, old chaps?
ORLOVSKY (joyously): Fyodor, my boy, darling sonny!
FYODOR (to ZHELTOUKHIN): I congratulate you on your birthday … be a big boy… (Greeting the whole company) Pater! Waffle, how d’ye do? I wish you all a good appetite!
ZHELTOUKHIN: Where have you been wandering? You should not come so late.
FYODOR: It’s hot! I must gulp some vodka.
ORLOVSKY (with an admiring look at him): My dear fellow, what a fine beard he has! … Friends, he’s a beauty! Look at him: isn’t he a beauty?
FYODOR: Congratulations to the new-born! (Drinking.) Aren’t the Serebryakovs here?
ZHELTOUKHIN: They’ve not come.
FYODOR: H’m! … And where’s Julie?
ZHELTOUKHIN: I don’t know why she’s got stuck there. It’s time to bring in the birthday pie. I’ll call her instantly.
[Goes out.
ORLOVSKY: And our Lennie, our new-born, isn’t in the right humour to-day. So sulky!
VOYNITSKY: He’s a beast!
ORLOVSKY: His nerves must be upset, he can’t help it… .
VOYNITSKY: He loves himself too much, hence his nerves. If you were to say in his presence that this herring here is good, he would at once feel hurt because it was not he who was praised. Here he comes.
ENTER JULIE AND ZHELTOUKHIN.
SCENE V
The same, ZHELTOUKHIN AND JULIE
JULIE: How do you do, Fyodor dear? (They kiss one another.) Do have something, dear. (To ORLOVSKY) Look, godpa, what a present I am giving Lennie.
(Showing a little shoe to serve as a watch-stand.)
ORLOVSKY: My ducky, my dear little girl, what a fine shoe! What a fine thing!
JULIE: The gold wire-ribbon alone cost eight and a half roubles. Look at the borders: tiny little pearls, tiny little pearls, tiny little pearls. And here are the letters: “Leonid Zheltoukhin.” Here’s embroidered in silk: “A present to him I love.” …
DYADIN: Do let me have a look! That is fascinating!
FYODOR: That’ll do … that’s enough! Julie, tell them to fetch champagne!
JULIE: Fyodor dear, that’s for the evening!
FYODOR: Why, why evening? Tell them to bring it at once, or I’ll go away. ‘Pon my word, I’ll go away. Where do you keep it? I’ll go and fetch it myself.
JULIE: Fyodor dear, in a well-ordered house, you’re always a nuisance. (To VASSILI) Vassili, here’s the key! The champagne is in the pantry, you know, in the corner, just by the bag of raisins, in a basket. Only be careful, don’t break anything!
FYODOR: Vassili, three bottles!
JULIE: You’ll never make a good housekeeper, Fyodor.… (Serving out the pie to the company.) Have some more, please, gentlemen… Dinner won’t be yet, not till six.… Nothing will come of you, Fyodor dear… You’re a lost creature!
FYODOR: Now, you’ve started preaching.
VOYNITSKY: I think someone has driven up… Do you hear?
ZHELTOUKHIN: Yes… It’s the Serebryakovs. … At last! (VASSILI announces the SEREBRYAKOVS.)
JULIE (crying out): Sonechka! [Runs out.
VOYNITSKY (singing): “Let’s go to meet them, let’s go.” … [Goes out.
FYODOR: How overjoyed they are!
ZHELTOUKHIN: How very little tact some people possess! He lives with the professor’s wife and cannot conceal it.
FYODOR: Who does?
ZHELTOUKHIN: George, of course. He praised her so much just now, before you came, that it was even indecent.
FYODOR: How do you know that he lives with her?
ZHELTOUKHIN: As if I were blind! … Besides, the whole district is talking about it.
FYODOR: Nonsense. Nobody has yet lived with her up to now, but soon I shall live with her… Do you see? I!
SCENE VI
THE SAME, SEREBRYAKOV, MARIE VASSILIEVNA, VOYNITSKY, WITH ELENA ANDREYEVNA ON HIS ARM, SONYA AND JULIE
JULIE (kissing SONYA): My dear! Darling!
ORLOVSKY (going to meet them): How do you do, Alexander, how are you, old boy? (Embracing one another.) You are well? Quite well?
SEREBRYAKOV: And how are you, my dear friend? You look fine! I am very glad to see you. How long have you been back?
ORLOVSKY: I returned on Friday. (To MARIE VASSILIEVNA) Marie Vassilievna! How are you, Your Excellency?
(Kissing her hand.)
MARIE VASSILIEVNA: My dear! …
(Kissing him on the head.)
SONYA: Dearest godpa!
ORLOVSKY: Sonechka, my darling! (Kissing her.) My own darling, my little canary bird! …
SONYA: As usual, your face is radiant, kindly, sweet! . .
ORLOVSKY: And you’ve grown taller, and handsomer, and shapelier, my sweet…
SONYA: How are you getting on? Are you well?
ORLOVSKY: Tremendously well!
SONYA: That’s right, godpa! (To FYODOR) I failed to notice the elephant. (They embraced) Sunburnt, hairy … a real spider!
JULIE: Darling!
ORLOVSKY (to SEREBRYAKOV): How are you getting on, old boy?
SEREBRYAKOV: So-so… And you?
ORLOVSKY: What can be the matter with me? I live! I gave my estate to my son, my daughters are married to good men, and now there’s no freer man than myself. I’m enjoying myself!
DYADIN (to SEREBRYAKOV): It pleased Your Excellency to arrive a little late. The temperature of the pie has considerably gone down. Allow me to introduce myself, Ilya Ilyich Dyadin, or Waffle, as some very wittily call me on account o! my pockmarked countenance.
SEREBRYAKOV: Glad to make your acquaintance.
DYADIN: Madame! Mademoiselle! (bowing to ELENA and to SONYA). Here are all my friends, Your Excellency. Once upon a time I had a considerable fortune, but for domestic reasons, or, as people in intellectual centres put it, for reasons for which the editor accepts no responsibility, I had to give up my share to my own brother, who, on a certain unfortunate occasion, found himself short of seventy thousand roubles of Government money. My profession consists in the exploitation of the stormy