Wisdom & Empowerment: The Orison Swett Marden Edition (18 Books in One Volume). Orison Swett Marden
Читать онлайн книгу.Wisdom & Empowerment: The Orison Swett Marden Edition (18 Books in One Volume) - Orison Swett Marden
dependent upon him for a living very shabbily. In society always on the alert to show the slightest service to the ladies, he is absolutely indifferent to the comfort and feelings of a stenographer or other woman in his employ. Those who are bound to him by the necessity of earning their living, do not call out his nobler sentiments. He regards them as “just help,” nothing more. They may be infinitely finer-grained than himself, but he rides roughshod over their sensitive feelings, domineering, criticising, mercilessly scolding, even using profane language.
Such a man would be terribly shocked if those to whom he is so deferential in society knew how he treated the women in his employ. They would not believe it possible—if they could be in his office, store, or factory for a day—that the man who displays these coarse brute qualities could ever be the polished gentleman they met the evening before. Think of a woman, perhaps with a gentle, delicate training, a woman of culture and rare refinement, and who has seen better days, but whose changed circumstances compel her to earn a living for her little ones, enduring the ill-humor, submitting to the insulting remarks, the coarse and cruel treatment of such a man! How little he realizes that his own sister or his own wife may possibly be placed in a similar situation!
There is nothing more contemptible than taking advantage of a woman in one’s employ simply because she can not help herself. To treat her like a dog or a nobody, simply because one happens to have a little more money than she, or because one happens to be a little more fortunate, is dastardly and contemptible.
People ought to be rated by their quality. Many a refined, cultured, sweet, beautiful girl, for a few dollars a week, works for a coarse, cruel man who pays not the slightest heed to her sensitive feelings, never hesitates to wound her, to say disagreeable and most contemptible things to her, and often uses the most abusive, profane language.
A girl who thinks of marrying a man who employs girls or women should find out how he treats them; what his bearing is, whether that of a gentleman or of a brute. If he is not kind and considerate’ to those who are defenseless, he certainly will make a brute of a husband. Just as truly as night brings out the stars, so, in the intimacy of married life, the wear and tear of business, the irritability, the vexations, the disappointments in business or professional life, bring out the real man. He can not long cover up his horns and hoofs if he possesses them. Before the young woman decides upon a husband, she should try to know the man as his employees, as those who are brought into close daily contact with him, know him. That is the way to choose a husband.
What right have you to abuse an employee, just because your dinner did not happen to agree with you, or because you dissipated the night before and feel cross and crabbed? Why should you humiliate, insult, or make innocent people suffer for your shortcomings?
You should remember that others have rights just as inalienable and just as sacred as yours, and you have no more right to lash an employee with your tongue, or to abuse him just because you happen to be in an unfortunate mood, than you have to strike him. The mere accident of your being an employer and he an employee does not give you any license to abuse or insult him. He has just as much right on this earth as you, and more, if he behaves better. Many an employer who struts around in fine clothes and makes a great noise in the world, and who abuses his employees, is infinitely inferior to many of those who work for him.
Chapter IX.
The Good-Will Habit
The story is told of a great king who had one little son whom he worshiped. The boy had everything he desired, all that wealth and love could give; no wish was ungratified, but he was not happy. His face was always disfigured by a scowl of discontent. One day a great magician came to the palace of the king, and told him that he could make his son happy and turn his scowls into smiles. “If you can do this,” said the king, “I will give you whatever you ask.” The magician took the boy into a private chamber and wrote something with a white substance on a piece of paper. He gave the paper to the boy and told him to go into a darkened room and hold a lighted candle under it and see what would happen. Then the magician went away. The young prince did as he was instructed, and the white letters, illuminated by the light from beneath, turned into a beautiful blue, and formed the words: “Do a kindness to some one every day.” The prince followed the magician’ advice and soon became the happiest boy in his father’s kingdom.
No life is really happy until it is helpful, is really successful until it is radiant with joy and gladness, the gladness of good cheer, of good will toward everybody, of the spirit of brotherhood toward all men. Only by giving ourselves can we hold what we have, can we grow.
Like that wonderful substance radium, which flings off millions of particles of itself every second, yet never seems to lose anything or to grow smaller, no matter how much we give of ourselves, how much we fling off of helpfulness, of good cheer and encouragement, there is not only no diminution of our supply, but, on the contrary, the more we give, the more we have; the more we fling out of life, the more helpfulness, inspiration, encouragement, and hope come back to us.
Yet there is a strange weakness of human nature which blinds many of us to the good in others and which delights in making us say unkind things about them, hurting them instead of helping them.
We have all met the habitual belittler, who never sees any good in anything which does not immediately concern himself, advance his interests, the man who is always flinging out his sarcasms, sticking a knife into other people’s backs, making light of others’ motives, finding faults and defects in their characters, and implying that they are not what they ought to be or pretend to be.
It is positively painful to the small soul to hear a competitor complimented or spoken well of. He always tries to minimize the virtue and quality of the praise of another by a malicious “if” or “but,” or endeavors in some way to throw doubt upon the character of the person praised.
The habit of belittling is a confession of weakness, of inferiority, of a small, jealous, envious nature; a confession that one’s life is not well poised, well balanced. The large, magnanimous soul has no room for jealousy, for the belittling spirit. It magnifies the good and minimizes the bad.
A spirit of generosity and kindness is an indication of greatness of soul. Jealousy, envy, a disposition to keep from others the credit which belongs to them, are marks of a small nature, a pinched mentality. A kindly spirit always accompanies largeness of nature, breadth of character. The man who belittles a competitor, who maintains a mean silence when he should praise, only exhibits to the world his own narrowness and stinginess of soul. A man with a really large nature is generous and charitable even to his worst enemy.
The belittler does not realize that in disparaging others, in discounting the achievements of competitors, he is exposing the limitations of his own soul, the smallness of his nature, and not only that, but is all the time making the person he is talking to think less of him. We little imagine that when we draw a picture of others we draw one of ourselves. A small, mean soul sees only small, mean things in another. A really great nature sees only the good qualities of others.
Unfortunately, men of great ability who have been distinguished for brilliant intellectual gifts, often unusual courage and tenacity of purpose, men who have really done big things, have frequently been insanely jealous and envious of others, especially those in the same profession or business as themselves.
Many singers and actors, and, I am sorry to say, some clergymen, suffer from professional jealousy. They are pained by hearing others in their profession praised. This jealousy is perhaps more characteristic of professional people generally than of business people.
I know a clergyman who would be very popular and successful if he were only large enough to see the good in his brother clergymen, but he is not. He is always emphasizing their faults and weaknesses, especially those of men who are gaining in popularity. If any one praises another clergyman, “Yes,” he will say, “he is a pretty good man, but he is not always absolutely accurate, reliable, in his statements or, “He is very free in his use of other preachers’ sermons; he is a great borrower