Letters to Persons Who Are Engaged in Domestic Service. Catharine Esther Beecher
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have every body live very plainly, and all fare just alike.
But the great body of the people know better than this. They see that if all the manufactories of carpets, sofas, glass, china, silks, muslins and ornaments were stopped, that all the persons now employed in making, and in trading in these articles, would be thrown out of employ, and having nothing to do, would become lazy and wicked.
They, therefore, conclude that it is best that all kinds of rich and beautiful things should be made, in order to keep one set of persons busy in making them, and another set busy in earning money to buy them. This view of the subject should keep persons from complaining that so many needless and extravagant things are made and sold. It is true that many are thus tempted to buy more than is wise or right, yet on the whole, great good results to the community. For if nobody bought any thing but what was barely necessary to life and comfort, half the world would become lazy beggars, for want of something to do. In this country, also, we find the same trouble that the good minister in the story saw among his people. For everywhere we find persons associating together in different classes, that refuse to admit other classes to join them. Thus, domestics form one class, farmers another, mechanics another, merchants another, and literary persons another. Now, in some parts of the country, all these classes mingle together, without any distinctions of class. But this is not generally the case. For, in most places, we find various circles who consider themselves as above or below others, in certain respects, and who are very apt to feel wrong towards each other on this account. Thus domestics in a family will often feel very much above persons who are mulattos, and refuse to eat or associate with them, and yet they think it very hard if mechanics’ wives and daughters have the same sort of feelings towards them. In like manner, mechanics’ daughters and sempstresses refuse to eat or to associate with domestics, and yet they think it very wrong if merchants’ or lawyers’ daughters refuse to associate with them. And even in those circles who call themselves the very first, the same feeling is often to be met. I have been in places where there was a rich and fashionable set, that felt above every other class, and yet there was another class who called themselves literary, who felt quite as much above the fashionable set, whom they called the vulgar rich, and whom they would not associate with, even if urged to do so.
Now it cannot be denied that there often is something wrong on both sides in these cases. For all should be allowed to choose who shall associate with them, and who shall not, and none should feel wronged or injured, because others do not wish to have them come into their circle. Every one should grant to others the same right as he claims for himself. No one has a right to force his company on us, when we do not wish it, and we have no right to claim that others shall admit us into their circle, unless they wish it.
But the great mischief is, that those who feel above another set, are very apt to treat those they fancy to be below them, with discourtesy or contempt, while those who feel below others, are apt to indulge in suspicious, envious, or revengeful feelings.
How has it been with you who read this? Are there not persons whom you refuse to associate with, and would you not be offended if they were set to eat at the same table with you? And yet have you not felt angry when others have used the same right in regard to you? Is not this a place where you very much need the golden rule, “Do unto others as ye would that others should do unto you?”
LETTER V.
Reasons for regarding the station of a domestic as honourable and respectable.
My Friends:
The preceding letters were designed to give you some general views of the state of things in this country, and of the station which you are called to occupy. I will now point out reasons for regarding your station and employment as honourable and respectable.
It is sometimes the case that persons will speak of the place of a domestic as the humblest and least desirable of any; and some young girls will go into shops and manufactories, and work much longer, and for lower wages, because they fancy that it is more respectable than the place of a domestic. And not unfrequently “shop girls” and “factory girls” will show much pride and folly, in shunning the society of domestics, and in treating them with disrespect and contempt, as if they were very much below themselves. All these things are owing to a want of correct notions as to the real usefulness and respectability of this important station in life. And I will now point out the reasons for considering your situation as far more honourable, desirable, and useful than that of a sempstress, a shop girl, or a factory girl; and even as superior in respectability to that of many persons who consider themselves as belonging to the “very first society.”
There are two things that make a station honourable; one is the power to do good, and the other is using this power in the right manner.
Why is the office of a king or queen the most honourable of any in the nation? Because it secures the most power to confer benefits and enjoyment on others? Why is the station of a president, a governor, or a judge so honourable? Because they have great power given them to use for the happiness of others. Why is the office of a minister of the gospel honourable? Because his education, character and office give him great powers to do good. Why are rich men considered more honourable than poor? Because their money gives them power to increase the happiness of others. They can give employment to the poor, can give custom to the shopkeepers and tradesmen, can bestow money on charitable objects, can secure a superior education, and many other agreeable things that make it pleasant to others to associate with them. Why are persons of talent and learning honourable? Because their talents and knowledge give them power in various ways to promote their own interest and to do good to others.
The mere possession, then, of a power to do good, is what makes one station more honourable than another. But another thing that makes a station honourable, is the actual using of this power in doing good.
If kings and queens are selfish and wicked, and use their power to oppress their people, they are never as much honoured as when they use it to do good.
If presidents, governors, and judges use their power to do evil, they are not honoured like those who use it to do good. If a minister of the gospel uses his influence to do harm rather than good, he is more despised than he is honoured. If rich people spend their wealth in selfish indulgences, or in harmful vices, they are not honoured as they would be, if they spent it for useful and benevolent purposes. If persons who have talents and learning, spend their time and influence to do evil, they are not honoured or respected as they would be, if they employed them to do good.
Now I think you clearly see, that the two things which make a station honourable are, the power to do good, and the use of this power in a proper manner. If, then, I can show that domestics have great power to do good given them, and that they really use this power in doing good, I shall prove that the station of a domestic is an honourable and respectable one. And if I can show that domestics have more power, and actually do more good, than many who think themselves above them, I shall prove, too, that they have the more honourable and respectable station. I will therefore point out the power of doing good which is given to domestics. In the first place, then, they do more than any other class of persons to sustain that most important institution of God, the family state. How much benefit and comfort mankind receive through this institution, few of us can realize. To help you to do so, just imagine the state of things in this country, if all the homes in the land were broken up, and all classes of persons herded together in common, like flocks of animals.
In this case the father and husband would have no quiet home to go to for comfort, and the mother would have no house of her own where she could train her children. Every child, too, would be turned out into the community to take care of itself, with no parents to watch over it by day and night, no brothers and sisters to sleep and play with, no regular meal to call all the children together around their kind parents.
In a cold and selfish world, without guardians, without a home, without parental restraint and tenderness, each young child would go into the common herd, to grow up selfish, unhappy, unloving and unloved.
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