Postcript

       Table of Contents

      My memory's no worth a preen;

       I had amaist forgotten clean,

       Ye bade me write you what they mean

       By this “new-light,”

       'Bout which our herds sae aft hae been

       Maist like to fight.

       In days when mankind were but callans

       At grammar, logic, an' sic talents,

       They took nae pains their speech to balance,

       Or rules to gie;

       But spak their thoughts in plain, braid lallans,

       Like you or me.

       In thae auld times, they thought the moon,

       Just like a sark, or pair o' shoon,

       Wore by degrees, till her last roon

       Gaed past their viewin;

       An' shortly after she was done

       They gat a new ane.

       This passed for certain, undisputed;

       It ne'er cam i' their heads to doubt it,

       Till chiels gat up an' wad confute it,

       An' ca'd it wrang;

       An' muckle din there was about it,

       Baith loud an' lang.

       Some herds, weel learn'd upo' the beuk,

       Wad threap auld folk the thing misteuk;

       For 'twas the auld moon turn'd a neuk

       An' out of' sight,

       An' backlins-comin to the leuk

       She grew mair bright.

       This was deny'd, it was affirm'd;

       The herds and hissels were alarm'd

       The rev'rend gray-beards rav'd an' storm'd,

       That beardless laddies

       Should think they better wer inform'd,

       Than their auld daddies.

       Frae less to mair, it gaed to sticks;

       Frae words an' aiths to clours an' nicks;

       An monie a fallow gat his licks,

       Wi' hearty crunt;

       An' some, to learn them for their tricks,

       Were hang'd an' brunt.

       This game was play'd in mony lands,

       An' auld-light caddies bure sic hands,

       That faith, the youngsters took the sands

       Wi' nimble shanks;

       Till lairds forbad, by strict commands,

       Sic bluidy pranks.

       But new-light herds gat sic a cowe,

       Folk thought them ruin'd stick-an-stowe;

       Till now, amaist on ev'ry knowe

       Ye'll find ane plac'd;

       An' some their new-light fair avow,

       Just quite barefac'd.

       Nae doubt the auld-light flocks are bleatin;

       Their zealous herds are vex'd an' sweatin;

       Mysel', I've even seen them greetin

       Wi' girnin spite,

       To hear the moon sae sadly lied on

       By word an' write.

       But shortly they will cowe the louns!

       Some auld-light herds in neebor touns

       Are mind't, in things they ca' balloons,

       To tak a flight;

       An' stay ae month amang the moons

       An' see them right.

       Guid observation they will gie them;

       An' when the auld moon's gaun to lea'e them,

       The hindmaist shaird, they'll fetch it wi' them

       Just i' their pouch;

       An' when the new-light billies see them,

       I think they'll crouch!

       Sae, ye observe that a' this clatter

       Is naething but a “moonshine matter”;

       But tho' dull prose-folk Latin splatter

       In logic tulyie,

       I hope we bardies ken some better

       Than mind sic brulyie.