The Collected Works of Anton Chekhov: Plays, Novellas, Short Stories, Diary & Letters. Anton Chekhov
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woman, almost a saint, could allow yourself to be so basely deceived and dragged into this den of bears? Why are you here? What have you in common with such a cold and heartless — but enough of your husband! What have you in common with these wicked and vulgar surroundings? With that eternal grumbler, the crazy and decrepit Count? With that swindler, that prince of rascals, Misha, with his fool’s face? Tell me, I say, how did you get here?
ANNA. [laughing] That is what he used to say, long ago, oh, exactly! Only his eyes are larger than yours, and when he was excited they used to shine like coals — go on, go on!
LVOFF. [Gets up and waves his hand] There is nothing more to say. Go into the house.
ANNA. You say that Nicholas is not what he should be, that his faults are so and so. How can you possibly understand him? How can you learn to know any one in six months? He is a wonderful man, Doctor, and I am sorry you could not have known him as he was two or three years ago. He is depressed and silent now, and broods all day without doing anything, but he was splendid then. I fell in love with him at first sight. [Laughing] I gave one look and was caught like a mouse in a trap! So when he asked me to go with him I cut every tie that bound me to my old life as one snips the withered leaves from a plant. But things are different now. Now he goes to the Lebedieff’s to amuse himself with other women, and I sit here in the garden and listen to the owls. [The WATCHMAN’S rattle is heard] Tell me, Doctor, have you any brothers and sisters?
LVOFF. No.
ANNA sobs.
LVOFF. What is it? What is the matter?
ANNA. I can’t stand it, Doctor, I must go.
LVOFF. Where?
ANNA. To him. I am going. Have the horses harnessed. [She runs into the house.]
LVOFF. No, I certainly cannot go on treating any one under these conditions. I not only have to do it for nothing, but I am forced to endure this agony of mind besides. No, no, I can’t stand it. I have had enough of it. [He goes into the house.]
The curtain falls.
ACT II
The drawing-room of LEBEDIEFFÕS house. In the centre is a door leading into a garden. Doors open out of the room to the right and left. The room is furnished with valuable old furniture, which is carefully protected by linen covers. The walls are hung with pictures. The room is lighted by candelabra. ZINAIDA is sitting on a sofa; the elderly guests are sitting in armchairs on either hand. The young guests are sitting about the room on small chairs. KOSICH, AVDOTIA NAZAROVNA, GEORGE, and others are playing cards in the background. GABRIEL is standing near the door on the right. The maid is passing sweetmeats about on a tray. During the entire act guests come and go from the garden, through the room, out of the door on the left, and back again. Enter MARTHA through the door on the right. She goes toward ZINAIDA.
ZINAIDA. [Gaily] My dearest Martha!
MARTHA. How do you do, Zinaida? Let me congratulate you on your daughter’s birthday.
ZINAIDA. Thank you, my dear; I am delighted to see you. How are you?
MARTHA. Very well indeed, thank you. [She sits down on the sofa] Good evening, young people!
The younger guests get up and bow.
FIRST GUEST. [Laughing] Young people indeed! Do you call yourself an old person?
MARTHA. [Sighing] How can I make any pretense to youth now?
FIRST GUEST. What nonsense! The fact that you are a widow means nothing. You could beat any pretty girl you chose at a canter.
GABRIEL brings MARTHA some tea.
ZINAIDA. Why do you bring the tea in like that? Go and fetch some jam to eat with it!
MARTHA. No thank you; none for me, don’t trouble yourself. [A pause.]
FIRST GUEST. [To MARTHA] Did you come through Mushkine on your way here?
MARTHA. No, I came by way of Spassk. The road is better that way.
FIRST GUEST. Yes, so it is.
KOSICH. Two in spades.
GEORGE. Pass.
AVDOTIA. Pass.
SECOND GUEST. Pass.
MARTHA. The price of lottery tickets has gone up again, my dear. I have never known such a state of affairs. The first issue is already worth two hundred and seventy and the second nearly two hundred and fifty. This has never happened before.
ZINAIDA. How fortunate for those who have a great many tickets!
MARTHA. Don’t say that, dear; even when the price of tickets is high it does not pay to put one’s capital into them.
ZINAIDA. Quite true, and yet, my dear, one never can tell what may happen. Providence is sometimes kind.
THIRD GUEST. My impression is, ladies, that at present capital is exceedingly unproductive. Shares pay very small dividends, and speculating is exceedingly dangerous. As I understand it, the capitalist now finds himself in a more critical position than the man who ——
MARTHA. Quite right.
FIRST GUEST yawns.
MARTHA. How dare you yawn in the presence of ladies?
FIRST GUEST. I beg your pardon! It was quite an accident.
ZINAIDA gets up and goes out through the door on the right.
GEORGE. Two in hearts.
SECOND GUEST. Pass.
KOSICH. Pass.
MARTHA. [Aside] Heavens! This is deadly! I shall die of ennui.
Enter ZINAIDA and LEBEDIEFF through the door on the right.
ZINAIDA. Why do you go off by yourself like a prima donna? Come and sit with our guests!
[She sits down in her former place.]
LEBEDIEFF. [Yawning] Oh, dear, our sins are heavy! [He catches sight of MARTHA] Why, there is my little sugar-plum! How is your most esteemed highness?
MARTHA. Very well, thank you.
LEBEDIEFF. Splendid, splendid! [He sits down in an armchair] Quite right — Oh, Gabriel!
GABRIEL brings him a glass of vodka and a tumbler of water. He empties the glass of vodka and sips the water.
FIRST GUEST. Good health to you!
LEBEDIEFF. Good health is too much to ask. I am content to keep death from the door. [To his wife] Where is the heroine of this occasion, Zuzu?
KOSICH. [In a plaintive voice] Look here, why haven’t we taken any tricks yet? [He jumps up] Yes, why have we lost this game entirely, confound it?
AVDOTIA. [Jumps up angrily] Because, friend, you don’t know how to play it, and have no right to be sitting here at all. What right had you to lead from another suit? Haven’t you the ace left? [They both leave the table and run forward.]
KOSICH. [In a tearful voice] Ladies and gentlemen, let me explain! I had the ace, king, queen, and eight of diamonds, the ace of spades and one, just one, little heart, do you understand? Well, she, bad luck to her, she couldn’t make a little slam. I said one in no-trumps —— *
* The game played is vint, the national card-game of Russia
and the direct ancestor of auction bridge, with which it is
almost identical. [translator’s note]
AVDOTIA. [Interrupting him] No, I said one in no-trumps; you said two in no-trumps ——
KOSICH. This is unbearable! Allow me — you had — I had — you had — [To LEBEDIEFF]