The Palliser Novels: Complete Parliamentary Chronicles (All Six Novels in One Volume). Anthony Trollope
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asked. “You see the inn at Shap is a long way off for morning calls.” Kate could not take upon herself to say that there would be any harm, but she did not like the idea of having Captain Bellfield as a visitor. “After all, perhaps he mayn’t come,” said the widow. “I don’t see where he is to raise the money for such a journey, now that he has quarrelled with Mr Cheesacre.”
“If Captain Bellfield must come to Vavasor Hall, at any rate let him not come till Alice’s visit had been completed.” That was Kate’s present wish, and so much she ventured to confide to her aunt. But there seemed to be no way of stopping him. “I don’t in the least know where he is, my dear, and as for writing to him, I never did such a thing in my life, and I shouldn’t know how to begin.” Mrs Greenow declared that she had not positively invited the Captain; but on this point Kate hardly gave full credit to her aunt’s statement.
Alice arrived, and, for a day or two, the three ladies lived very pleasantly together. Kate still wore her arm in a sling; but she was able to walk out, and would take long walks in spite of the doctor’s prohibition. Of course, they went up on the mountains. Indeed, all the walks from Vavasor Hall led to the mountains, unless one chose to take the road to Shap. But they went up, across the beacon hill, as though by mutual consent. There were no questions asked between them as to the route to be taken; and though they did not reach the stone on which they had once sat looking over upon Haweswater, they did reach the spot upon which Kate had encountered her accident. “It was here I fell,” she said; “and the last I saw of him was his back, as he made his way down into the valley, there. When I got upon my legs I could still see him. It was one of those evenings when the clouds are dark, but you can see all objects with a peculiar clearness through the air. I stood here ever so long, holding my arm, and watching him; but he never once turned to look back at me. Do you know, Alice, I fancy that I shall never see him again.”
“Do you suppose that he means to quarrel with you altogether?”
“I can hardly tell you what I mean! He seemed to me to be going away from me, as though he went into another world. His figure against the light was quite clear, and he walked quickly, and on he went, till the slope of the hill hid him from me. Of course, I thought that he would return to the Hall. At one time I almost feared that he would come upon me through the woods, as I went back myself. But yet, I had a feeling,—what people call a presentiment, that I should never see him again.”
“He has never written?”
“No; not a word. You must remember that he did not know that I had hurt myself. I am sure he will not write, and I am sure, also, that I shall not. If he wanted money I would send it to him, but I would not write to him.”
“I fear he will always want money, Kate.”
“I fear he will. If you could know what I suffered when he made me write that letter to you! But, of course, I was a beast. Of course, I ought not to have written it.”
“I thought it a very proper letter.”
“It was a mean letter. The whole thing was mean! He should have starved in the street before he had taken your money. He should have given up Parliament, and everything else! I had doubted much about him before, but it was that which first turned my heart against him. I had begun to fear that he was not such a man as I had always thought him,—as I had spoken of him to you.”
“I had judged of him for myself,” said Alice.
“Of course you did. But I had endeavoured to make you judge kindly. Alice, dear! we have both suffered for him; you more than I, perhaps; but I, too, have given up everything for him. My whole life has been at his service. I have been his creature, to do his bidding, just as he might tell me. He made me do things that I knew to be wrong,—things that were foreign to my own nature; and yet I almost worshipped him. Even now, if he were to come back, I believe that I should forgive him everything.”
“I should forgive him, but I could never do more.”
“But he will never come back. He will never ask us to forgive him, or even wish it. He has no heart.”
“He has longed for money till the Devil has hardened his heart,” said Alice.
“And yet how tender he could be in his manner when he chose it;—how soft he could make his words and his looks! Do you remember how he behaved to us in Switzerland? Do you remember that balcony at Basle, and the night we sat there, when the boys were swimming down the river?”
“Yes;—I remember.”
“So do I! So do I! Alice, I would give all I have in the world, if I could recall that journey to Switzerland.”
“If you mean for my sake, Kate—”
“I do mean for your sake. It made no difference to me. Whether I stayed in Westmoreland or went abroad, I must have found out that my god was made of bricks and clay instead of gold. But there was no need for you to be crushed in the ruins.”
“I am not crushed, Kate!”
“Of course, you are too proud to own it?”
“If you mean about Mr Grey, that would have happened just the same, whether I had gone abroad or remained at home.”
“Would it, dear?”
“Just the same.”
There was nothing more than this said between them about Mr Grey. Even to her cousin, Alice could not bring herself to talk freely on that subject. She would never allow herself to think, for a moment, that she had been persuaded by others to treat him as she had treated him. She was sure that she had acted on her own convictions of what was right and wrong; and now, though she had begun to feel that she had been wrong, she would hardly confess as much even to herself.
They walked back, down the hill, to the Hall in silence for the greater part of the way. Once or twice Kate repeated her conviction that she should never again see her brother. “I do not know what may happen to him,” she said in answer to her cousin’s questions; “but when he was passing out of my sight into the valley, I felt that I was looking at him for the last time.”
“That is simply what people call a presentiment,” Alice replied.
“Exactly so; and presentiments, of course, mean nothing,” said Kate.
Then they walked on towards the house without further speech; but when they reached the end of the little path which led out of the wood, on to the gravelled sweep before the front door, they were both arrested by a sight that met their eyes. There was a man standing, with a cigar in his mouth, before them, swinging a little cane, and looking about him up at the wood. He had on his head a jaunty little straw-hat, and he wore a jacket with brass buttons, and white trousers. It was now nearly the middle of May, but the summer does not come to Westmoreland so early as that, and the man, as he stood there looking about him, seemed to be cold and almost uncomfortable. He had not as yet seen the two girls, who stood at the end of the walk, arrested by the sight of him. “Who is it?” asked Alice, in a whisper.
“Captain Bellfield,” said Kate, speaking with something very like dismay in her voice.
“What! aunt Greenow’s Captain?”
“Yes; aunt Greenow’s Captain. I have been fearing this, and now, what on earth are we to do with him? Look at him. That’s what aunt Greenow calls a sniff of the rocks and valleys.”
The Captain began to move,—just to move, as though it were necessary to do something to keep the life in his limbs. He had finished his cigar, and looked at the end of it with manifest regret. As he threw it away among a tuft of shrubs his eye fell upon the two ladies, and he uttered a little exclamation. Then he came forward, waving his little straw-hat in his hand, and made his salutation. “Miss Vavasor, I am delighted,” he said. “Miss Alice Vavasor, if I am not mistaken? I have been commissioned by my dear friend Mrs Greenow to go out and seek you, but, upon my word, the woods looked so black that I did not dare to venture;—and then, of course, I shouldn’t have