War/Peace - Part II. Clarissa Daisy Huntsman
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INT. SALT LAKE CITY - AIRPORT - DAY
(CLARISSA, EMILY, ROBYN, BUS GUY, BUS GIRL, BUS GUY'S GIRL, RUNNER)
CLARISSA, EMILY, AND EVERYONE ELSE HAVE ARRIVED AT THE AIRPORT. CLARISSA, EMILY AND ROBYN ARE GLANCING UP AT THE DEPARTURE TIMES. MEANWHILE, SEVERAL METRES AWAY, BUS GUY IS ABOUT TO MEET HIS GIRLFRIEND . . . AND HE HAS A FRIEND WITH HIM.
CLARISSA
We got just over half an hour. Robyn, you have luggage so you better hurry on ahead. We don't wanna hold you up. We'll see you on the plane. Anything you want from a store? It's on us.
ROBYN
Oh . . . thank you. Um . . . I don't know.
EMILY
Can we get you surprises? Please please please.
ROBYN
Yeah. Thank you so much. So, I must go.
CLARISSA
Terminal one. Follow the signs.
ROBYN
Yes. Bye.
ROBYN HURRIES OFF. HER BAGS ARE SMALL BUT CHECK-IN WILL STILL TAKE SOME TIME. CLARISSA PATS HER POCKETS.
CLARISSA
Ahhhhh; travelling light. Don't you love it? Passport, your phone, some Hello Kitty, and a soluble bra. We gotta get to terminal one in the next 15 minutes. That's our time limit. But first, we're finding the California Pizza Kitchen [1.]. Last time I was here, no anchovies; only artichokes and asparagus . . . but you never know. Maybe they've ordered some in . . .
EMILY
There's no way they'll be able to make a pizza for us in time.
CLARISSA
Then we get a pasta . . . or a salad. How long can it take?
CLARISSA TAKES EMILY'S PHONE OUT OF HER POCKET. SHE DIALS A NUMBER.
CLARISSA
8 0 1 5 7 5 2 6 2 7. C'mon; answer, answer . . . Hi there, how are you? We've just arrived at the airport and we have a flight at 5 past 7. I'm in a hurry. Could I order a pizza over the phone? . . . Do you have anything with anchovies [2.]? . . . Never mind, artichokes [2.] will do. I'll get that one with the artichoke sauce . . . Yeah, Roasted Artichoke and Spinach. How long will that take? . . . 10 minutes. Excellent. Thank you. See you soon.
CLARISSA PRESSES THE END-CALL BUTTON.
EMILY
You're pushing it. Concourse D is the totally opposite direction to terminal one.
CLARISSA
All good. Now - it's every girl for herself. If I miss the flight, I'll get the next one - you too. Just order the ticket online; you know my VISA number, right?
EMILY
Yeah, but . . .
CLARISSA
Sweet. But you'll be fine. We'll both make it. It's just fun to run by a time limit. How long?
EMILY
12 minutes.
CLARISSA
It's minus 12. Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to retrieve some goods for Robyn. Look for the cutest things you can find. We'll meet at check-in, terminal one at 0.
EMILY
Minus 11 now.
CLARISSA
We go.
THEY BOTH NOD AND TURN TO FACE THE BULK OF THE BODY OF THIS SNAKE OF AN AIRPORT.
BUS GUY'S GIRL
Who is this?
CLARISSA AND EMILY STOP DEAD IN THEIR TRACKS. THEY TURN AROUND.
BUS GUY
I met her on the bus. She's so friendly. Her name's . . .
BUS GUY'S GIRL
I don't give a fuck what her name is! You just kissed her on the cheek . . . and you just met her?
BUS GIRL
Hang on! You have a girlfriend?
BUS GUY'S GIRL
Oh, he certainly does. Together two years, you slut!
BUS GIRL
Wait! I didn't know.
BUS GUY'S GIRL
Oh really; so this prick here failed to mention to you that he happens to be meeting his girlfriend at the airport.
BUS GUY
Please, . . .
BUS GUY'S GIRL
Don't you dare say my name you douche! You gonna play around? We're through. You and I; we're through.
BUS GUY
I love you.
BUS GUY'S GIRL
Wait! Who!? Who the fuck are you even talking to? I can't see where you're looking! Are you looking at her or me? You fuckin' piece of shit. You is fuckin' white trash; you know that!? Fuckin' white trash!
BUS GIRL
Yeah, dude. So much for the shy, sensitive Hugh Grant! You're a fuckin' sleaze! You know that? I'm outta here. Why don't you buy some more cologne so you come pick up some sluts on the flight? Fuck you!
BUS GUY'S GIRL
Bye. Have a lonely, miserable life.
THE TWO GIRLS WALK AWAY. THE GUY STANDS UP.
BUS GUY'S GIRL
Don't you dare follow us. It's over. Fuck off!
THE GUY SITS DOWN.
CLARISSA GLANCES AT EMILY.
CLARISSA
Change of plan. What are we at?
EMILY
Minus 9.
CLARISSA
Give me a fifty.
EMILY HANDS CLARISSA A FIFTY. SHE NODS AT A PASSING MAN.
CLARISSA
Hey mate, how are you? Look here's a fifty. I've ordered a pizza from California Pizza Kitchen. Do you know where that is?
RUNNER
Uh . . . yeah.
CLARISSA
I need you to run over there, retrieve the Artichoke and Spinach pizza and meet me at terminal one. If you do I'll give you another twenty. And you can keep all the change. Sound good?
RUNNER
Ok. Sure.
CLARISSA
In 8 minutes! Go.
HE RUNS OFF.
CLARISSA
Emily, get the stuff from the store. I'm taking to this guy, ok?
EMILY
Ok. See you at the terminal?
CLARISSA
Yep.
CLARISSA WANDERS OVER TO THE GUY FROM THE BUS. HE'S CRYING.
CLARISSA
Hi dude. I saw what happened.
THE GUY LOOKS UP.
BUS GUY
Uh . . . I was silly. They were both so nice . . .
CLARISSA PUTS A HAND ON HIS SHOULDER.
CLARISSA