Making Amends. Группа авторов
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have emphasized willingness as being indispensable.” I knew that, but I still wasn’t willing.
Reading over the part on Step Eight in the Big Book, I saw I wasn’t unique; earlier AAs had evidently been like me. This was apparent when I read the line that says, “There are probably still some misgivings,” and again when I read, “If we haven’t the will to do this, we ask until it comes.” (Ask God, of course.)
I kept praying about the difficult amends while I was making other amends, and it seemed like every meeting I attended during that time was on the Eighth Step. In one of these meetings, I heard someone share her experience. She had been willing to make all her amends but one. In talking to her sponsor about it, the sponsor put it like this: If your program depended upon this one amends—that is, if you made this amends you would stay sober, and if you didn’t make it you would drink again—how willing would you be then?
Hearing that, and reading again about going to any length, brought me the willingness I had been praying for—at least on all but one. Deep in my heart I knew it would take a miracle for the willingness to come for that one, and when the exact moment was right, God gave me the willingness so suddenly that it was like a physical force slammed into me. Once again, God was right on time, not a minute too early or a second too late.
Since I’ve been in the program, I’ve been told countless times that if I will take care of the possible, God will handle the impossible. Countless times I’ve witnessed this to be true.
It’s been over two-and-a-half years since all this happened, and I’m still sober. I can only say it’s because of God and not me, for the part I played has been so small in comparison to God’s part. I thank God for AA, and for the fact that, just for today, I’m still willing.
Robi M.
Edmond, Oklahoma
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