The Greatest Christmas Books of All Time. Люси Мод Монтгомери
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many. Ge. That's so. Have you heard about Antipho? Chr. The whole story. Ge. [to Demipho]. O, you've been telling him? [To Chremes]. It's a shame, Chremes, to be taken in that way! Dem. I have been discussing the situation with him. Ge. I've been thinking it over, too, and I think I have found a way out of it. Chr. How's that, Geta? Dem. A way out of it? Ge. [in a confidential tone]. Just now when I left you, I chanced to meet Phormio. Chr. Who's Phormio? Ge. That girl's—Chr. O, I see. Ge. I thought I'd test the fellow, so I got him off alone, and said: "Now, Phormio, don't you see that it's better to settle this matter in a friendly way than to have a row about it? My master is a gentleman, and hates a fuss. If it wasn't for that he would have sent this girl packing, as all his friends advised him to do." Ant. [aside]. What in the world is this fellow getting at? Ge. "Do you say that the law will make him suffer for it if he casts her out? Oh, we've looked into that point. I tell you you'll sweat for it if you ever get into a law-suit with that man. He's a regular corker. But suppose you do win out; it's not a matter of life and death, but only of damages. Now here, just between ourselves, how much will you take, cash down, to take this girl away and make us no more trouble." Ant. [aside]. Good heavens, is the fellow crazy? Ge. "For I know that if you make any sort of an offer, my master is a good fellow, and will take you up in a minute." Dem. Who told you to say that? Chr. There, there, we couldn't have gained our point better. Ant. [aside]. I'm done for! Dem. Well, go on with your story. Ge. At first the fellow was wild. Chr. Come, come, tell us how much he wants. Ge. How much? Altogether too much. Said he: "Well, a matter of twelve hundred dollars would be about right." Dem. Confound his impudence! Has he no shame? Ge. That's just what I said. Said I: "What if he were marrying off an only daughter? Small gain it's been to him not to have raised a girl. One has been found to call for a dowry just the same." Well, to make a long story short, he finally said: "I've wanted from the first to marry the daughter of my old friend, as was right that I should; but, to tell you the honest truth, I've got to find a wife who will bring me in a little something, enough to pay my debts with. And even now, if Demipho is willing to pay me as much as I am getting from the other girl to whom I am engaged, I'd just as soon turn around and marry this girl of yours." Dem. What if he is over his head in debt? Ge. Says he: "I have a little farm mortgaged for two hundred dollars." Dem. Well, well! Let him marry her; I'll give him that much. Ge. "And then there's a bit of a house mortgaged for two hundred more." Dem. Ow! that's too much. Chr. No, that's all right. Let him have that two hundred from me. Ge. "Then I must buy a little maid for my wife," says he, "and I've got to have a little more furniture, and then there's all the wedding expenses. Put all that down at an even two hundred more." Dem. [in a rage]. Then let him bring as many suits as he wants to. I won't give a cent. What, is the dirty fellow making game of me? Chr. O, do please keep still! I only ask that you have your son marry that girl that we know of. This girl is being sent off for my sake; so it's only right that I should pay for it. Ge. Phormio says to let him know as soon as possible if you are going to give Phanium to him, in order that he may break his engagement with the other girl; for her people have promised the same dowry. Chr. Well, we will give it to him, so let him break his other engagement and marry the girl. Dem. And a plague on him into the bargain! Chr. [to Demipho]. Very fortunately, I have brought some money with me—the rent I have collected from my wife's Lemnian estate. I'll take it out of that, and tell her that you needed it.
The two old men go into Chremes' house; and now Geta finds himself confronted by the indignant Antipho, who has hardly been able to contain himself during this (to him) inexplicable dialogue, in which his wife was being coolly bargained away. It is only with the greatest difficulty that Geta can make the angry bridegroom appreciate the ruse by which the money has been obtained for Phædria's use. In the end Antipho goes off to tell the news to Phædria. Demipho and Chremes now come out, the former with a bag of money in his hand. He wants it understood that no one can cheat him; he is going to be very business-like and have ample witness to the transactions. Chremes' only desire is that the business may be settled as soon as possible. Demipho now tells Geta to lead the way to Phormio, and they start toward the Forum. Chremes' troubles are only in part allayed. His Lemnian daughter's marriage with Antipho seems now safely provided for, but where is his Lemnian daughter and her mother? That they are here in Athens fills him with terror. He paces back and forth in deep thought, muttering:
Where can I find those women now, I wonder?
And just at this moment out from Demipho's house comes old Sophrona, Phanium's nurse, who also seems to be in great distress:
O, what shall I do? Where shall I find a friend in my distress, or to whom shall I go for advice? Where get help? For I'm afraid that my young mistress is going to get into trouble from this marriage that I persuaded her into. I hear that the young man's father is very much put out about it. Chr. [aside]. Who in the world is this old woman coming out of my brother's house? So. But want made me advise her as I did, though I knew that the marriage was a bit shaky, in order that for awhile at least we might be sure of our living. Chr. [aside in great excitement]. By Jove! unless I'm much mistaken, or my eyes don't see straight, that's my daughter's nurse! So. And I can't get any trace of the man who is her father. Chr. [aside]. Shall I go up to her, or shall I wait until I understand better what she's talking about? So. But if I could only find him now, I'd have nothing to fear. Chr. [aside]. It is Sophrona; I'll speak to her. [Calling softly]. Sophrona! So. Who is this I hear calling my name? Chr. Look here, Sophrona. So. [finally looking the right way]. My goodness gracious! Is this Stilpho? Chr. No. So. No? Chr. [drawing her cautiously away from the vicinity of his house]. Say, Sophrona, come away a little from that door, will you? And don't you ever call me by that name again. So. O, my goodness, aren't you the man you always said you were? Chr. Sh! So. What makes you so afraid of that door? Chr. I've got a savage wife shut up there. I gave you the wrong name on purpose, that you might not thoughtlessly blurt it out in public sometime, and so let my wife here get wind of it. So. And so that's the reason why we poor women could never find you here. Chr. Tell me now what business you have with this household from which you have just come out. Where are those women? So. [with a burst of tears]. O dear me! Chr. How? What's that? Aren't they alive? So. Your daughter is. But the mother, sick at heart over this business, is dead. Chr. That's too bad! So. And then, considering that I was just a lonely old woman, in a strange city without a cent of money, I think I did pretty well for the girl, for I married her off to the young man the heir of this family here. Chr. What, Antipho? So. Why, yes! Chr. You don't mean to say he's got two wives? So. O gracious, no! This is the only one. Chr. But what about that other girl who is said to be related to him? So. Why, this is the one. Chr. [beside himself with joy and wonder]. You don't mean it! So. That was a cooked up scheme that her lover might marry her without a dowry. Chr. Thank heaven for that! How often things come about by mere chance that you wouldn't dare hope for! Here I find my daughter happily married to the very man I had picked out for her! What my brother and I were taking the greatest pains to bring about, here this old woman, without any help from us, all by herself, has done. So. But now, sir, we've got to bestir ourselves. The young man's father is back, and they say he's in a terrible stew about it. Chr. O, there's no danger on that score. But, for heaven's sake, don't let any one find out that she's my daughter. So. Well, no one shall find it out from me. Chr. Now you follow me, we'll talk about the rest inside. [They go into Demipho's house.]
Demipho and Geta appear in a brief scene, in which the former grumblingly comments upon the bargain which they have just made with Phormio. He disappears into his brother's house. Geta, left alone, soliloquizes upon the situation and sums it up so far as it is known to him. As he disappears into Demipho's house, the latter is seen coming out of his brother's house with his brother's wife, Nausistrata, whom in fulfilment of his promise he is taking in to see Phanium in order to reconcile the bride to the new arrangements that have been made for her.
And just at this moment Chremes comes rushing out