The Complete Sylvie and Bruno Stories With Their Original Illustrations. Lewis Carroll
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that he ran against his unfortunate guest, who fell heavily on his face.
‘So sorry!’ my Lady exclaimed, as she and her husband helped him to his feet again. ‘My son was in the act of saying “sixty-three” as you fell!’
The Baron said nothing: he was covered with dust, and seemed much hurt, both in body and mind. However, when they had got him into the house, and given him a good brushing, matters looked a little better.
Dinner was served in due course, and every fresh dish seemed to increase the good-humour of the Baron: but all efforts, to get him to express his opinion as to Uggug’s cleverness, were in vain, until that interesting youth had left the room, and was seen from the open window, prowling about the lawn with a little basket, which he was filling with frogs.
‘So fond of Natural History as he is, dear boy!’ said the doting mother. ‘Now do tell us, Baron, what you think of him!’
‘To be perfectly candid,’ said the cautious Baron, ‘I would like a little more evidence. I think you mentioned his skill in—’
‘Music?’ said the Vice-Warden. ‘Why, he’s simply a prodigy! You shall hear him play the piano?’ And he walked to the window. ‘Ug—I mean my boy! Come in for a minute, and bring the music-master with you! To turn over the music for him,’ he added as an explanation.
Uggug, having filled his basket with frogs, had no objection to obey, and soon appeared in the room, followed by a fierce-looking little man, who asked the Vice-Warden ‘Vot music vill you haf?’
‘The Sonata that His Highness plays so charmingly,’ said the Vice-Warden.
‘His Highness haf not—’ the music-master began, but was sharply stopped by the Vice-Warden.
‘Silence, Sir! Go and turn over the music for his Highness. My dear,’ (to the Wardeness) ‘will you show him what to do? And meanwhile, Baron, I’ll just show you a most interesting map we have—of Outland, and Fairyland, and that sort of thing.’
By the time my Lady had returned, from explaining things to the music-master, the map had been hung up, and the Baron was already much bewildered by the Vice-Warden’s habit of pointing to one place while he shouted out the name of another.
The map of Fairyland
My Lady joining in, pointing out other places, and shouting other names, only made matters worse; and at last the Baron, in despair, took to pointing out places for himself, and feebly asked ‘Is that great yellow splotch Fairyland?’
‘Yes, that’s Fairyland,’ said the Vice-Warden: ‘and you might as well give him a hint,’ he muttered to my Lady, ‘about going back to-morrow. He eats like a shark! It would hardly do for me to mention it.’
His wife caught the idea, and at once began giving hints of the most subtle and delicate kind. ‘Just see what a short way it is back to Fairyland! Why, if you started to-morrow morning, you’d get there in very little more than a week!’
The Baron looked incredulous. ‘It took me a full month to come,’ he said.
‘But it’s ever so much shorter, going back, you know!’
The Baron looked appealingly to the Vice-Warden, who chimed in readily. ‘You can go back five times, in the time it took you to come here once—if you start to-morrow morning!’
All this time the Sonata was pealing through the room. The Baron could not help admitting to himself that it was being magnificently played: but he tried in vain to get a glimpse of the youthful performer. Every time he had nearly succeeded in catching sight of him, either the Vice-Warden or his wife was sure to get in the way, pointing out some new place on the map, and deafening him with some new name.
He gave in at last, wished a hasty good-night, and left the room, while his host and hostess interchanged looks of triumph.
‘Deftly done!’ cried the Vice-Warden. ‘Craftily contrived! But what means all that tramping on the stairs?’ He half-opened the door, looked out, and added in a tone of dismay, ‘The Baron’s boxes are being carried down!’
‘And what means all that rumbling of wheels?’ cried my Lady. She peeped through the window curtains. ‘The Baron’s carriage has come round!’ she groaned.
At this moment the door opened: a fat, furious face looked in: a voice, hoarse with passion, thundered out the words ‘My room is full of frogs—I leave you!’ and the door closed again.
And still the noble Sonata went pealing through the room: but it was Arthur’s masterly touch that roused the echoes, and thrilled my very soul with the tender music of the immortal ‘Sonata Pathétique’: and it was not till the last note had died away that the tired but happy traveler could bring himself to utter the words ‘good-night!’ and to seek his much-needed pillow.
Chapter 8
A Ride on a Lion
The next day glided away, pleasantly enough, partly in settling myself in my new quarters, and partly in strolling round the neighbourhood, under Arthur’s guidance, and trying to form a general idea of Elveston and its inhabitants. When five o’clock arrived, Arthur proposed—without any embarrassment this time—to take me with him up to ‘the Hall,’ in order that I might make acquaintance with the Earl of Ainslie, who had taken it for the season, and renew acquaintance with his daughter Lady Muriel.
My first impressions of the gentle, dignified, and yet genial old man were entirely favourable: and the real satisfaction that showed itself on his daughter’s face, as she met me with the words ‘this is indeed an unlooked-for pleasure!’ was very soothing for whatever remains of personal vanity the failures and disappointments of many long years, and much buffeting with a rough world, had left in me.
Yet I noted, and was glad to note, evidence of a far deeper feeling than mere friendly regard, in her meeting with Arthur—though this was, as I gathered, an almost daily occurrence—and the conversation between them, in which the Earl and I were only occasional sharers, had an ease and a spontaneity rarely met with except between very old friends: and, as I knew that they had not known each other for a longer period than the summer which was now rounding into autumn, I felt certain that ‘Love,’ and Love alone, could explain the phenomenon.
‘How convenient it would be,’ Lady Muriel laughingly remarked, à propos of my having insisted on saving her the trouble of carrying a cup of tea across the room to the Earl, ‘if cups of tea had no weight at all! Then perhaps ladies would sometimes be permitted to carry them for short distances!’
‘One can easily imagine a situation,’ said Arthur, ‘where things would necessarily have no weight, relatively to each other, though each would have its usual weight, looked at by itself.’
‘Some desperate paradox!’ said the Earl. ‘Tell us how it could be. We shall never guess it.’
‘Well, suppose this house, just as it is, placed a few billion miles above a planet, and with nothing else near enough to disturb it: of course it falls to the planet?’
The Earl nodded. ‘Of course—though it might take some centuries to do it.’
‘And is five-o’clock-tea to be going on all the while?’ said Lady Muriel.
‘That, and other things,’ said Arthur. ‘The inhabitants would live their lives, grow up and die, and still the house would be falling, falling, falling! But now as to the relative weight of things. Nothing can be heavy, you know,