Tara - The Journey To One's Self. Anjana Gill
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I was on a kind of raft, the floor of which was covered with a soft, light-coloured carpet; a white flowing fabric fluttered about opposite me and a wonderful yellow light imbued this sunny place, and then I saw HIM: an elderly man sitting on a yellow cushion in the lotus position. He wore white clothing, a turban, and a long white beard adorned his face. He smiled at me and his hands motioned me to sit down opposite him. I felt as if in a trance and did his bidding, seating myself down on a second yellow cushion that seemed to be simply waiting for me. Now I was able to take in the man more closely. I had never seen such eyes before! I stared at him as if spellbound.
Incredible! Brown and warmly radiant eyes looked back at me tenderly. His face shone like the sun itself. He looked like a saint.
A wave of warmth flowed through me. It was like coming home – unspeakably wonderful! I was overcome by this radiance.
I cannot say how long I sat there, taking in the love and affection that came from his gaze.
However, after halfway collecting myself, my worldly thoughts regained the upper hand.
What was I doing here? Why was I in this strange place?, I thought to myself.
“You’re here to learn something”, said the Indian in a friendly tone. That’s surely an Indian, I thought.
And again! I think something and he answers! He can read my thoughts! Everything seemed to be coming from another world. I felt almost like I was in a film. The only thing was, I didn’t know what role I was supposed to be playing.
“My darling child”, the Indian interrupted the silence, “this morning you collapsed and your inner voice called for help. Now I’m here. I’m here for you.
I shall help you if you want me to.”
“Who are you?” I asked, transfixed.
“Call me Guruji”.
“Guruji? Is that your name?”
“Yes, at the moment that is my name. I’ll explain to you what it means: ‘Gu’ means darkness and ‘ru’ means that which drives away. A guru is hence someone who drives away the darkness. And what happens when the darkness has gone, Tara?”
“It becomes light?”
“Exactly, and the light can shine out in all its brightness. That’s what we’re going to learn here. To drive away the darkness from your life so that the light above you and in you can shine out. The word ‘guru’, by the way, comes from Sanskrit, the oldest language in the world. And the Tibetan word for teacher is ‘lama’, a translation of ‘guru’ from Sanskrit.
I should like to be your teacher for a while. I shall help you let more light into your life again.”
I was very moved by his words.
“Where do you come from?” I asked, my curiosity now piqued.
“That isn’t important at the moment. The important thing is that you have found your way here. You have come and that is good... Are you feeling better, Tara?”
He looked at me with boundless goodwill and just for a moment I had the sensation of a pure and unconditional love. There was a feeling of deep familiarity between us, almost as if we had known each other for eternity.
Yes, in the meantime I was feeling better.
“Then we can begin with a small introductory lesson.” He handed me a cup of wonderfully fragrant Ginger tea. I unwrapped a piece of sugar from its paper and dropped it into my tea.
Suddenly I noticed there was some writing on the paper:
There are but few people in this world
who have the ability to think normally.
There is a terrible tendency to accept
everything that is said and read.
To accept everything without question.
Only he who is prepared
to question something and think for himself
will find the truth.
(Nisargadatta Maharaj)
Surprised, I looked up at the Indian. And Guruji began to speak:
“You all live in very hectic and turbulent times. Mankind has devoted itself to material values and is always striving to increase its external comforts. The Western countries are never satisfied. They have everything and still want more. You have all become slaves of pure materialism. The price you all pay is high – you forget your souls. And that’s how it is for you too, Tara. you are running through your life as if in a race against time. You rush from one appointment to the next and even in your leisure time almost everything is arranged. Fitness centre, theatre, cinema, and so on and so forth. You are a successful business woman who is well esteemed, but are you happy – really happy?”
I thought for a moment and then answered, “What is happiness in the end? I have a job which many people would like to have. I live in a wonderful flat, have stylish clothes and a cool car, and go on holiday twice a year. What more is there?”
“You didn’t understand my question properly, Tara. I didn’t ask you about all the things you have and possess. I asked whether you are happy.”
“What do you mean by that, Guruji?”
“I mean the happiness that comes from deep within. I mean the happiness which flows through your entire body, not just for a moment but as your attitude to life. I mean divine happiness.”
I thought for a moment. Was I happy?
Not always but I didn’t feel unhappy either. “Sometimes I’m really happy. But this feeling mostly doesn’t last. It’s often only for a very short while. But that’s how most people experience life in our society. I thought it was normal.”
“You’re right, that is indeed normal for you nowadays. That’s because, from a spiritual point of view, you are beginners, or to put it more bluntly, mere novices. No one has taught you that a truly fulfilled life has a spiritual side to it. No one has taught you how important it is to listen to your heart.
You can operate computers, fly to Mars, and so on and so forth, but you know nothing about your own soul. And yet true happiness can only come from the soul. Material things bring joy for a short time and they comfort you a great deal. But true and deep-felt happiness can only ever come from your soul.
You’ve learnt to hustle and bustle to develop self-esteem. But being always on the go to get certain things done serves no higher goal.
Yet doing things because they come from the soul does indeed serve a higher purpose and this kind of activity makes you, makes anybody, lastingly happy. Spiritual growth means opening your heart. You don’t have to acquire anything or learn anything to do that. Everything already exists within you. You only have to remember; simply let it happen!
There are still many things to experience on this Earth, wonderful and sometimes wondrous things. As soon as you lift the veil from your eyes a little, you will discover them. Life is a wonderful journey and offers the most beautiful things to discover along the way. Life can be magnificent!”
On hearing these words from Guruji, I was filled with a deep peace such as I had never known before.
“Take some of the speed out of your everyday life, Tara, and leave yourself time to relax and think! Pause to take stock of things and enjoy the simple things in life – the flowers, the smile of another person...!
How are you feeling, Tara? You look a little tired.
We’ll end our small session for today. I think it’ll be good for you to go home now and begin with a time of stillness.
Think about our first talk in peace and quiet and recover your strength! My thoughts will go with you. You can come back again whenever you want, my dear Tara!”
Guruji