Comedy of Marriage and Other Tales. Guy de Maupassant
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You would practically take away from me the joy of life were I to behave as you seem to desire.
MME. DE SALLUS
I am so grateful; and now, perhaps, you wish to offer me a new proof – a new proof —
M. DE SALLUS
Oh, as you please. Really, when a man who has lived as I have marries, he can hardly help looking upon his wife as a new mistress – I mean to say a faithful mistress – and it is only when it is too late that he understands more clearly, – comes to his senses and repents.
MME. DE SALLUS
Well, my friend, it is too late. As I have already told you, I mean to have my innings. I have taken nearly three years to think it over. You may think that is long, but I need some amusement as well as you. The fact that I have taken nearly three years to think it over is a compliment to you, but you fail to see it.
M. DE SALLUS
Madeline, this jesting is altogether out of place.
MME. DE SALLUS
Oh! no, because I am compelled to think that every one of your mistresses was far more attractive than I, since you have preferred them to me.
M. DE SALLUS
What sort of mood are you in?
MME. DE SALLUS
In the same mood that I always am. It is you who have changed.
M. DE SALLUS
True, I have changed.
MME. DE SALLUS
And that is to say —
M. DE SALLUS
That I have been an idiot.
MME. DE SALLUS
And that —
M. DE SALLUS
I am sane once more.
MME. DE SALLUS
And that —
M. DE SALLUS
That I am again in love with my wife.
MME. DE SALLUS
You must have returned to your youth.
M. DE SALLUS
What do you say?
MME. DE SALLUS
I say that you must have returned to your youth.
M. DE SALLUS
What do you mean?
MME. DE SALLUS
Let me illustrate. When you are young you are always hungry, and when a youth is hungry he often eats things that he would not eat at another time. Well, I am the dish, – the dish that you have neglected in your days of plenty, the dish to which you return in the days of scarcity – [slowly] for which I thank you!
M. DE SALLUS
I have never looked upon you as you think. You pain me as well as astonish me.
MME. DE SALLUS
So much the worse for both of us. If I astonish you, you repel me. Learn now, once for all, that I am not made for the rôle of a substitute.
M. DE SALLUS [approaches her, takes her hand and presses a long kiss upon it]
Madeline, I swear to you that I love you, in truth, devotedly, now and forever.
MME. DE SALLUS [ironically]
You must really believe it! [Suddenly.] But who is the woman that attracts – and repels you – just now?
M. DE SALLUS
Madeline, I swear —
MME. DE SALLUS
Oh, a truce to your swearing! I know that you have just broken with one of your mistresses; you need another and you cannot find one, so you come to me. For nearly three years you have forgotten all about me, so that now you find I am somewhat of a novelty. It is not your wife you are seeking now, but a woman with whom you have formerly had a rupture, and with whom you now desire to make up. To speak the truth you are simply playing the game of a libertine.
M. DE SALLUS
I do not ask you whether you be my wife or not my wife. You are the woman I love, the woman who possesses my heart. You are the woman of whom I dream, whose image follows me everywhere, whom I continually desire. It happens that you are my wife. So much the worse, or so much the better. What matters it?
MME. DE SALLUS
Truly, it is a distinguished part that you offer me. After Mademoiselle Zozo, after Mademoiselle Lilie, Mademoiselle Tata, you have the audacity to offer to your wife – to Madame de Sallus – the place left vacant, asking her to become her husband’s mistress for a short space of time.
M. DE SALLUS
No; now, and – forever.
MME. DE SALLUS
Pardon me. You ask that I should re-become your wife forever? That is out of the question; I have already ceased to entertain the idea. The reason may be obscure, but nevertheless it is real; and after all, the idea of making me your legitimate mistress seems to be far more entertaining to you than assuming the rôle of a faithful husband.
M. DE SALLUS [laughs]
Well, why should not the wife become the husband’s mistress? You are right in what you say; you are absolutely free and I own my faults. Yet, I am in love with you-for the second time, if you will-and I say to you, here and now, Madeline, since you confess that your heart is empty, have pity upon me, for I tell you that I love you.
MME. DE SALLUS
And you ask me to give you a husband’s right?
M. DE SALLUS
I do.
MME. DE SALLUS
And you acknowledge that I am free, absolutely free?
M. DE SALLUS
I do.
MME. DE SALLUS
And you really wish me to become your mistress?
M. DE SALLUS
I do.
MME. DE SALLUS
You understand what I mean – your mistress?
M. DE SALLUS
Yes.
MME. DE SALLUS [sarcastically]
Well, well! I think I would rather accept another offer that I have, but since you are good enough to ask me to give you the preference, I may give it to you – for a fair sum.
M. DE SALLUS
What do you mean?
MME. DE SALLUS
Just what I say. Listen! Do you consider me as attractive as any of your mistresses? Now, be frank with me.
M. DE SALLUS
A thousand times more!
MME. DE SALLUS
Really!
M. DE SALLUS
I swear it!
MME. DE SALLUS
What, better than the best?
M. DE SALLUS
A thousand times!
MME. DE SALLUS
Well, tell me, now, truly, how much has the one you liked best among all your numerous mistresses cost you, let us say – in three months?
M. DE SALLUS
I cannot tell.
MME. DE SALLUS
Listen to me. I repeat the question. How much has the most charming of your numerous mistresses cost you in the space of three months – not only in money, but in gifts of jewelry, in dainty little suppers, in ceremonious dinners, in theater