Boxen: Childhood Chronicles Before Narnia. Walter Hooper
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to jail for bribery. The debts were –
5 Cliqueships …………….. £2000.
League ……………………. £3000.
3 Prussians ………………. £2100.
Total …………………… £7100.
That night he sat up late in his room, thinking, when suddenly a knock at the door broke in upon his reverie.
‘Come in.’
‘Mr Orring?’
‘Yes Sir.’
‘This letter for you.’
‘Thanks.’
The man went. And on opening the letter the lizard’s joy knew no bounds. It was a document to state that ‘Arnold Olderwell, gentleman, deceased, does give & bequeath to his cousen James Orring £100,000.’
XIII
The city of Murry read by a notice in every inn that on Monday, Parliament would assemble. Among the first to read the notice was General Quicksteppe as he sat down to breakfast in the Inner of the Goose. So the blow had fallen! Although the official notice did not state the business which was to be discussed, the old strategian knew. These beggars had brought in their new Clique bill. The present Clique of which he was a member had been in office for over two years & it was only natural that it should fall to peices sooner or later. His attempt to make an ally of Macgoullah had failed: the captain was too busy in his own work to take up politics. Presently Colonel Chutney sat down at the same table.
‘Good morning, General.’
‘Why, that’s you Chutney. Were you at the opera?’
‘Yes. Do you see about the session?’
‘Yes. I suppose that means a new Clique.’
‘Yes. We won’t be in it if there is?’
‘No. Hullo here’s Puddiphat. My good owl –’
‘’Morning. Do you see the notice –?’
‘Yes. A new Clique –’
‘No,’ said the viscount. ‘Because, look here. Orring the leader of the movement has gone home to Piscia & settled down.’
‘Rubbish!’
‘It is true.’
‘Then there isn’t going to be a new Clique?’
‘Oh no. We are quite safe.’
Meanwhile in the Inner of the Murryman’s rest the situation was also being discussed by Green and Glohenman.
‘Do you hear,’ cried the parrot, ‘that that lizard has given it up!’
‘Well, we weren’t going to have him in it any way.’
‘No, but I wonder who told him?’
XIII
On Monday very few members failed to attend the debate. The Murry House, a spacious building situated on Watermans Road, was crowded to its full. There on an obscure back bench sat Mr Green, interested & excited: there is Mr Bar with Captain Murray winking at their friends in the gallery. There also in the gallery sit the two Glohenmans: there on the front bench is Macgoullah in a new blue serge suit & a clean wooden pipe, looking very bored. The Clique (whose days even now are numbered), consisting of Quicksteppe, Colonel Chutney, Goose, Puddiphat, & Pig, & presided over by their Majesties & the Little Master are absent in the Clique-room. But all eyes are fixed on the door by which they come in. Presently it opened & the Clique, loudly cheered, filed in, M’Lord Little Master & the Kings seating themselves on the raised triple throne. Big rose & walked to the rostrum: ‘Your Majesties, & gentlemen of the house: we are met here to day to discuss Mr Orring’s new Clique Bill. This honourable member however has not turned u – is not present. Consequently, unless any of his party wish to bring in a new Clique Bill we will –’
‘I do M’Lord,’ this from the parrot.
‘Very well. Will you please speak on it?’
‘I should imagine so,’ said Green brusquely.
Big tiptoed back to the throne & whispered to the Rajah ‘That parrot!’
The latter meanwhile began to speak: – ‘Your Majesties, Little-Master & gentlemen of the house: in bringing in this bill, I’m not going to have any pother like some learned friends’ – (Big outraged) – ‘I’ll be plain: It strikes me, that this Clique has had its fair share.’ (laughter: ‘Order!’ from the usher) ‘India is not equally represented with Animalland.’ (At this juncture Puddiphat & Pig got out & went to be bar.) ‘I propose fer the new Clique –’ (Big whispered ‘Ah he’s a vulgar bird.’) ‘– the same Little Master, Mr Oliver Vant, Colonel Fortescue, Sir Bradshaw, a – and – ahem – yer’s trooly.’ (Big was wild.)
Mr Pig rose, & went [to] the rostrum: – ‘Your Majesties, Little Master, & gentleman of the –’
‘Take tha-at fer said,’ broke in Mr Green.
‘Turn the bird out!!!’ cried the infuriated Little-Master, glad of an opportunity for venting his wrath on the unfortunate parrot.
‘– house,’ continued Pig calmly. ‘I rise to oppose the motion –’ (Cheers. ‘Silence!’) ‘– on the ground that Mr O. Vant & Mr P. Green are unfit to hold office.’ (Big – ‘Short & poor, boys!’)
The Little-Master sent the house into the lobbies & the ballot was passed round. Amid tense excitement they returned & read out ‘The motion passes by a majority of 70 votes to 29 votes.’ Then in a whisper, ‘Now Hawki.’
The sovereign rose & said – ‘I do declare the new Clique lawfully to be a Clique in accordance with the laws & customs of the Boxonian government.’
No sooner had he ceased to speak than a storm of cheering & shouts of ‘Long live their Majesties’ & ‘Long live the new Clique.’ Macgoullah alone in the house shouted ‘Long live the dismissed Clique!’
As the M.P.’s trooped out Quicksteppe said to Goose ‘I’m not sorrey, after all.’
THE END
–“I‘M NOT SORREY”–
THE LOCKED DOOR AND THAN-KYU
THE LOCKED DOOR
Sequal to ‘Boxen’ & a short sketch entitled
‘Than-Kyu’
CHAPTER