Chapter 19

      LEONARD MAITLAND HAD welcomed the family into his home, and for a time they had enjoyed his hospitality. When the discussion turned serious, he asked Vicky outright, ‘So, with the way things are at home, will you and the family still be able to come with me to Boston?’

      Vicky looked at her sons, and her heart was breaking. ‘I’m sure you know what’s happened with Barney?’

      Leonard nodded. ‘I’m sorry.’ He was more sorry than she would ever know, he thought, because if he was going to Boston without Barney, he would be going without Vicky. He knew that, even before she told him.

      ‘I’m not sure if we’ll be able to come or not,’ Vicky said solemnly. ‘We so much want to – in fact, we’ve all been so excited about it …’

      She would have explained, but Ronnie blurted out: ‘Tell him the truth, Mother! Tell him how we might have to give up the greatest adventure we’re ever likely to have, and all because my father’s turned into a drunk and a laughing stock.’

      ‘That’s enough!’ Now, when Thomas put his hand over his brother’s arm, Ronnie bent his head in shame. ‘It’s true though, isn’t it?’ Getting out of his chair, he strode across the room and ran out of The Manse into the night.

      ‘Go after him, Tom. Take care of him.’ Vicky was desolate. As Thomas went to look for his brother, she addressed Leonard with a degree of pride. ‘I’m sorry we’ve caused you so much concern,’ she said. ‘If you have to look for someone else to help you with the farm in Boston, we will understand.’

      Leonard stopped her there. ‘Vicky, listen to me.’ Coming to sit beside her, he spoke with real compassion. ‘I fully understand what you must all be going through at this time, and I wouldn’t dream of rushing into looking for anyone else.’

      ‘Do you mean that?’

      ‘Of course. We still have a little time. Until then, I’ll assume that Barney is going through some sort of crisis; probably stemming from the idea that he should have saved the child and couldn’t. He’s a good man, and he did his best, that’s all any of us can do.’

      ‘Pray it will turn out all right,’ Vicky said. Deep down she feared that Barney had gone so low he might never come back to her. ‘All I’m saying is, I don’t want you to be hampered in your plans, especially when you’ve been so good to us.’

      Outside, Thomas had managed to calm his brother, and when Vicky came out with Susie, the four of them began their way back down the lane. ‘It’s all gone, hasn’t it?’ Ronnie was broken. ‘Our happy family, our dream … all of us wanting to go to America and start over – all gone.’

      Quickening his steps he walked on in front. Thomas kept a close eye on him, while Vicky walked between him and Susie, wondering why her happy, safe little world had been so cruelly shattered.

      Inside the house the woman was all over Barney. ‘You’re not very friendly tonight, are you?’ Seated on his knee, she nibbled at his ear. ‘C’mon. Want to make love, do you?’

      Barney didn’t answer. The touch of her skin against his was repugnant to him, and he could smell her boozy breath on his face. ‘Best not,’ he said. ‘There’s no telling what time the family will be back.’ In his mind he could still see Lucy’s downcast face. She had come here to help him, and he had turned her away. What kind of monster was he becoming?

      Yet what choice did he have? This was the worst time of his life and he desperately needed his family by him. Instead, for their own sakes, he was deliberately alienating them.

      When the door suddenly opened to admit his two sons, Barney was flustered; for a split second he wasn’t sure what to do, but then he knew and with a sore heart he played his part well. ‘Oh look!’ Kissing the woman soundly on the mouth, he pointed to his family who, shocked and disgusted, were now gathered at the door. ‘It’s my precious family,’ he laughed. ‘Shall we ask them to leave? What d’you think?’

      Brazen, the woman sniggered. ‘A minute later and they might have caught you with your trousers off,’ she said.

      ‘Get out of my house!’ White-faced, her fists clenched with rage, Vicky rushed towards the woman. ‘Get out, or I swear to God, I won’t be responsible for my actions!’

      Realising he had tipped Vicky over the edge, Barney clambered to his feet. Taking hold of the woman he told her, ‘You’d best go.’

      ‘I want you to go with her.’ Vicky spoke quietly, but the rage trembled in her voice. She did not look at Barney. She had seen enough. ‘You’ve gone too far this time,’ she told him. ‘I don’t want you near me any more.’ The tears were rising, but she would not let them see.

      He hesitated, hating himself, loving her so much it hurt. He wanted to take her in his arms and tell her it was all an act, that he had never stopped wanting her, that he would always love her.

      But he couldn’t do that. Instead, he looked at her and drank in her beauty, knowing he might never again hold her in his arms.

      ‘You heard what she said. GET OUT!’ Giving Barney a shove, Ronnie sent him sprawling towards the door.

      Before Barney could recover, his sons took one arm each and bundled him out of the door; the woman with him.

      ‘What kind of man are you?’ Thomas was shocked to his soul by Barney’s inexplicable behaviour. ‘You must know what you’re doing to us all. But it’s done now! You can’t hurt us any more. As far as we’re concerned, the Barney Davidson we knew is gone forever.’

      Outside in the cold, with the door to his own house closed against him, Barney was made to realise that at long last, he had earned the cold hatred of the family he adored. Dear God, what had he done? Not for the first time he questioned the wisdom of his own behaviour.

      ‘Come on, handsome!’ The woman grabbed hold of his arm. ‘Never mind them. Let’s find somewhere to bed down for the night.’

      Angry with himself, angry with her, he thrust her away. ‘Get out of my sight!’

      ‘Well, yer miserable bugger, all I’m doing is trying to cheer yer up!’

      Realising it wasn’t her fault, Barney softened. ‘You said you have a car waiting?’

      ‘That’s right.’ She pointed to the small vehicle tucked into the lane. ‘There it is.’

      Barney took her by the arm and leading her to the car, told the driver, ‘See she gets home safely, will you?’

      The driver, a burly fellow wearing a trilby, gave him a nod. ‘I got her here, and I’ll get her back,’ he said.

      Barney helped her into the front seat, and watched them drive away. For a long time, he stood hidden by the window, watching as his sons comforted Vicky. Seeing her sob like that wrenched him apart.

      Suddenly, Susie saw him there and running out, she grabbed up a handful of mud and threw it at him, catching him hard on the neck. ‘I hate you!’ Sobbing uncontrollably, she kept saying it over and over, throwing the mud and telling him, ‘I hate you, I hate you …’

      A moment later, Vicky appeared to put her arm round the girl’s shoulders. ‘Come away, sweetheart.’ She looked at Barney, covered in mud, forlorn and haggard, and for a while it seemed she might go to him. But then she said brokenly, ‘I don’t know who you are any more.’