Spirit of the Home: How to make your home a sanctuary. Jane Alexander
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HOME AS A REFLECTION OF SOUL
So by taking a good look at our homes, we can begin to understand more about ourselves. At the very least it can stop you beating yourself up because you simply can’t seem to get to grips with a hammer and nails (of course you can’t, you’re an intuitive). It could create some understanding within the home – no wonder her room is so messy and cluttered, she’s a typical thinker, her mind is on completely different things. However, it can go far deeper and become the start of a fascinating journey into the deeper reaches of the Self and into the soul itself. By reordering our homes to reflect our souls truly and honestly, we can start the process of individuation, of becoming aware of who we really are. We can begin to understand what is really important in our lives and what is just façade. We can come ‘home’ to a place inside ourselves where we feel natural, at peace. In this place we are not having to prove anything or be anyone other than who we truly are. Finding our true Self is the task we are all set in life – some people find it early; many only start the process in later life. But rethinking your exterior home is a vital part of the process. By understanding what is important and unimportant in the home environment we are putting up a mirror to our inner home, the soul.
When we start to listen to our souls we may find our outer homes need to change quite radically. We may realize we no longer want to be clinging to the past, holding onto the childhood home. Instead we want to choose our own pattern, our own life. We may realize that our home is too rational, too ordered and that our life reflects that perfect but static pattern. What we need is a little irrationality; something to kickstart a new phase in life. What better place to start than the home? When we want to bring something new into our lives, it’s very common for us to change our job, finish a relationship or alter our image. Why not start instead by opting for a new colour in the living room or a thorough decluttering session?
In the following chapters we will be looking more deeply at our homes. We will start thinking about what, for us, constitutes the spirit of the home. Once we have our blueprint, our essential map, we will have discovered yet more about ourselves – and be well on the way to turning our homes into true havens for the soul.
NOW IT’S TIME TO GET down to some practical exercises. They are simple and, I hope, fun and will enable us to discover what home really means to us and what we each want from our home of the spirit. First and foremost we need to realize that there is no one ‘perfect’ home. Each and every one of us has our own idea of the home of the soul. A country cottage is someone’s dream but might be your nightmare if your ideal is an inner-city eyrie, a loft up among the rooftops. In order to find our spiritual homes we first need to do some homework. Most of us think we know exactly what we want; what we would buy if we won the lottery – but what our egos think we want and what our souls really crave are often two entirely different things. It takes some unearthing to find the true home of the soul.
The exercises which follow in the next two chapters are designed to start you thinking. How much you get out of them is entirely up to you. You can flick through them and skim the surface – or you can take your time and really do some serious archaeology. If you decide to perform some solid digging, you will need a few tools:
WHAT YOU WILL NEED
First you will need to start collecting magazines. House mags, lifestyle mags, supplements. Most houses have a collection somewhere. If you’re not a magazine reader, then see if your friends have any they can donate (don’t ask for a loan; you will be cutting them up!).
You will also need two books. One should be A4 size, ideally with plain pages. Or a scrapbook would be fine. The other will be your journal so it can be any size – whichever you feel comfortable writing in. If you can, buy new books and choose ones which really inspire you. Finding your true home is a process of discovery, inspiration and enchantment so the books you use to chart your progress should fit the mood.
You will also need some coloured pens or pencils – or paints. Plus some larger sheets of paper or an art pad.
If you have access to one, a tape recorder could be very useful. If there is someone you trust and feel comfortable with, a friend can be a great help with some of the exercises, writing down comments for you to discuss later.
Next, and almost most important of all, you need to give yourself a space and the time to get into the process. If you can, allow yourself at least a clear hour at a time to work on these exercises. Don’t rush them. You will also need to hide away so you can concentrate without worrying about phones ringing or children crying. So pick your session times with care. Having said that, don’t endlessly put it off if you never seem to be able to find the right time or place. It’s better to snatch the odd moment here and there than not do it at all. I often find my best thoughts come at unexpected moments – lying in bed, last thing at night, just about to doze off to sleep, for instance, or when musing over a cup of coffee. So really there’s no prescription – do it whichever way feels best for you.
PREPARATIONS
Each time you begin working on your soul home it is a good idea (although not essential) to work through these preparations. They serve to focus your intent and put all your resources, both conscious and subconscious, at your service. They also mark the transition between your everyday world and this process.
Find somewhere quiet where you won’t be disturbed. You might like to light a candle or maybe burn some incense, or put some aromatherapy oil into a burner. If you have a lar, or spirit of the house, you may want to put his or her image on the table in front of you too.
Give yourself a good stretch. Reach right up to the ceiling, as if trying to touch the stars. Feel yourself pulling out of your waist and the stretch running right up through your back, shoulders, neck and into your head. Now let your body slump forwards, letting your head dangle down and your hands reach towards the floor. Go as far as you feel comfortable. Now roll your head slowly and carefully from side to side, feeling the stretch in your neck tendons. Now rotate your head right round clockwise and then anticlockwise. Shake out your entire body. Lie down on the floor and stretch out again, as long as you can. Now bring your knees up towards your chin and let them fall to the right while your head and shoulders twist over to the left. You may feel your vertebrae crunching a little. Repeat on the other side. Now you should feel physically more comfortable, NOTE: If you have any back or neck problems, or any form’ of arthritic condition, check with your physician before stretching.
Ask for a blessing on your work. You could ask for the guidance of your guardian angel or the angel of the house. Or perhaps dedicate your efforts to Hestia, guardian of the home. Or just spend a few moments in silence, meditating. Whichever you choose, you are simply clearing your mind and offering your subconscious the opportunity to relax and support you.
Spend a few minutes softly following your breathing, becoming aware of your lungs and your heartbeat. Be centred in your body. Is there any tension left in any part of your body? If so, try to relax it and let it go. If it won’t go, just be aware of it and anything it may be trying to tell you. It’s not unlikely that some part of you may be unwilling or uneasy about this process.
Sometimes when people think deeply about home, they discover that they need to make deep changes – not just moving the furniture but shifting something deep within. Perhaps at some level you may be aware of this and part of you is scared or unwilling to change. That’s fine – just be aware of it and comfort yourself by reminding yourself that you always have a choice. Nothing will be forced upon you. Nothing will be changed unless