Fab Confessions of Georgia Nicolson: Books 1-3. Louise Rennison
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going to do an ordinary kiss first.” Then he kissed me. We started off with number one kissing, which is just lips, not moving. He said I was a natural, not too “firm” or toothy, which is apparently very common.
He told me how to know which side to go to (you sort of watch where the boy is going and then you fit in). Then we did a bit of movement and he told me what to do with my hands (waist is safest).
Oh, we got through a lot in half an hour. We did a bit of tongues, which was the bit I was most scared of, but actually it wasn’t too bad, a bit like a little lizard tongue darting about. Cute really, in a bizarre way. The main thing to do is to strike a happy balance between “yielding” and “giving”. Peter says you can take a horse to water but you can’t make it kiss properly.
At the end of the session (he had a little alarm clock) he shook my hand and saw me to the door. I passed Mabs on the way out – it was her turn. I was glad that I had gone first. Jools and Ellen and Jas tried to pump me on the way home but I said, in a dignified sort of way, “I think I’d just like to think about this for a while, if you don’t mind. Bon soir.”
10:45 p.m.
Hahahahahahahaha. I’m a natural.
Friday October 2nd
4:00 p.m.
Party time!!! I don’t know why I’m so excited as SG is not even going to be there. But maybe I’ll be able to try out my new snogging skills.
Jackie Mathews has got a huge lovebite on her neck. She’s put about six centimetres of concealer on it and is wearing a scarf... how inconspicuoso!! It’s HUGE! What has she been snogging with – a calf? I think it is so common. Why would you let someone bite you?
The day dragged by. I really am going to complain about Miss Stamp – she should be working in a prison. I’m sure she has done before. Even though it was icy outside she insisted that in our games period we ran round the hockey pitch. You could see your breath. She found Jackie and Alison hiding in the showers having a fag and made them change into their sports knickers and do the circuit twice. Which is almost a reason to have her as a teacher. It was hilarious! Jackie might look OK when she’s all dolled up in some dark nightclub, but you should see her from behind in big navy knickers!!
4:15 p.m.
Only three hours to get ready and made up before I meet Jas, Jools and Ellen and the gang at the clock tower. We’re going to arrive together. Dad is insisting on picking me up at midnight. It’s useless arguing with him, he’ll only say, “You’re lucky, in my day... blah blah blah,” and then we’ll be back in the Middle Ages or the seventies as he calls it.
7:30 p.m.
Meet the gang. We look like a group of funeral directors going out for a drink. Black is our new black. Katie Steadman’s house is quite posh – she has her own room as well as a bedroom. Shagpile carpets all rolled up round the walls, for dancing.
When we arrived there were about thirty people there already, including Tom. Cue Jas going all dithery and daft. He was in a group but he came over to talk to us straight away. I left Jas to it and circulated. It was good fun. I had a mad dancing phase for about an hour. I suppose I was vaguely looking for substitute snoggers for SG, but all the boys seemed a bit on the nice but goofy side. There were one or two most unfortunate skin complaints. I feel lucky just getting the odd lurker – some people looked like they had mountain ranges of spots on their faces... and some down their backs too... Au secours!!!!
Then I saw Peter Dyer. I waved at him and he came over. He had been talking to Katie Steadman and she seemed a bit miffed when he came over to me. Peter said, “Hi!” and I said, “Hi... er... thanks for the other day. It was really... er... great. I learned a lot. Thanks.”
He looked at me sideways and stood quite close. “There was something I didn’t have time to show you, come with me.” And he took hold of my hand and led me out of the room. We hadn’t done hand-holding but I improvised... not too floppy but not too gripping. I don’t think anyone besides Katie saw us go, they were too busy dancing stupidly to a Slade record.
We went outside into the garden and went behind a big tree just by the path. Peter started kissing me (he didn’t seem to be a big talker).
There was a lot more tongue business. It was all right but it was making my jaw ache a bit. Peter seemed to like it quite a lot more than I did because he sort of moaned and pushed me against the tree. Then Peter started nuzzling my neck and I thought, Oh, we haven’t done necks before, he’s branching out a bit, and then I nearly choked to death trying not to laugh (up against a tree... branching out, do you get it?)... but I stopped myself. You have to keep reminding yourself about boys not liking a laugh. Then I heard a car door slam and people crunching up the drive towards us.
I stepped backwards but Peter was still attached to my neck. I tripped over a root and fell on to my bottom. Peter lost his balance and fell over on top of me and made us both go “Ooofff!”. From upside down I found myself looking up at a tall blonde girl I recognised from the sixth form and, next to her... SG. He was all in black and looked really annoyed.
He said all tight-lipped, “Don’t you think it’s about time you two went inside to the party?” I remembered the blonde’s name, it was Lindsay, a notorious wet. She was looking at my legs. Probably envying them. I looked down, and noticed that my skirt had all ridden up and you could see my knickers. I wriggled it down in a “dignity at all times” sort of way, but she still smirked.
Peter said quite calmly, “Hi, Robbie, I thought you had a gig tonight.”
Robbie said, “I have, but Tom forgot his key so I’m just dropping it off for him.”
He didn’t even glance at me or say goodbye or anything.
Midnight
I bloody hate him, big, full-of-himself type thing. Bugger bugger, double ordure and merde. What business is it of his what I do behind trees?
Tuesday October 6th
3:00 p.m.
Peter phoned me over the weekend. I don’t know how he got the number because I just left in a hurry from the party. Gemma must have given it to him. Dad answered the phone, which is the end of life as we know it because HE WILL NOT LET IT LIE. He thinks it is funny and calls Peter “Your fancy man.”
Peter wanted to know if I would go to the pictures next week. I said that would be great. So it looks like I have sort of got a boyfriend. Why do I feel so depressed then?
Jas is unbearable since the party. She sent me notes all through Maths.
Dear Gee-gee,
Tom is sooooo cool. He walked me home and then, when we got to the door, he gave me a really nice kiss on the cheek. His lips are really soft and he smells nice, not like my brother. He asked for my phone number – do you think he will call? What day do you think he will call?
It’s Monday today and I saw him on Friday so that is three days already. I’d call tonight if I was him, wouldn’t you? Should I say yes to any day he says for a date? Or if he says Friday should I say, “Oh, sorry, I’m busy that night, and then when he says “ What about Saturday?” I can say “Oh, yeah, Saturday would be cool.” What do you think? Or do you think he might think I’m putting him of f if I say I’m busy on Friday, so I should say yes to any day he says? Please reply quickly.
TTFN.
I’ve given her my worst look but she keeps sending things. I am not interested in any of the prat family Jennings.
4:00 p.m.
Sadly it makes no difference to Jas whether I am interested or not. All the way home she was telling me what Tom said or did. The more I hear about him the less I think Jas should have to do with him. All right, maybe I am being unfair and bitter, but she is my best friend and should do everything I say...
Tom wants to go into the fruit and veg business.