THE FOUR GOSPELS (Les Quatre Évangiles). Эмиль Золя
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Norine immediately regretted her spiteful outburst. She once more called the girls her “little pussies,” kissed them tenderly, and told them that although they must run away now they might come back another day to see her if it amused them. “Thank mamma from me for her oranges. And as for the baby, well, you may look at it, but you mustn’t touch it, for if it woke up we shouldn’t be able to hear ourselves.”
Then, as the two children leant inquisitively over the cradle, Mathieu also glanced at it, and saw a healthy, sturdy-looking child, with a square face and strong features. And it seemed to him that the infant was singularly like Beauchene.
At that moment, however, Madame Bourdieu came in, accompanied by a woman, whom he recognized as Sophie Couteau, “La Couteau,” that nurse-agent whom he had seen at the Seguins’ one day when she had gone thither to offer to procure them a nurse. She also certainly recognized this gentleman, whose wife, proud of being able to suckle her own children, had evinced such little inclination to help others to do business. She pretended, however, that she saw him for the first time; for she was discreet by profession and not even inquisitive, since so many matters were ever coming to her knowledge without the asking.
Little Cecile and little Irma went off at once; and then Madame Bourdieu, addressing Norine, inquired: “Well, my child, have you thought it over; have you quite made up your mind about that poor little darling, who is sleeping there so prettily? Here is the person I spoke to you about. She comes from Normandy every fortnight, bringing nurses to Paris; and each time she takes babies away with her to put them out to nurse in the country. Though you say you won’t feed it, you surely need not cast off your child altogether; you might confide it to this person until you are in a position to take it back. Or else, if you have made up your mind to abandon it altogether, she will kindly take it to the Foundling Hospital at once.”
Great perturbation had come over Norine, who let her head fall back on her pillow, over which streamed her thick fair hair, whilst her face darkened and she stammered: “Mon Dieu, mon Dieu! you are going to worry me again!”
Then she pressed her hands to her eyes as if anxious to see nothing more.
“This is what the regulations require of me, monsieur,” said Madame Bourdieu to Mathieu in an undertone, while leaving the young mother for a moment to her reflections. “We are recommended to do all we can to persuade our boarders, especially when they are situated like this one, to nurse their infants. You are aware that this often saves not only the child, but the mother herself, from the sad future which threatens her. And so, however much she may wish to abandon the child, we leave it near her as long as possible, and feed it with the bottle, in the hope that the sight of the poor little creature may touch her heart and awaken feelings of motherliness in her. Nine times out of ten, as soon as she gives the child the breast, she is vanquished, and she keeps it. That is why you still see this baby here.”
Mathieu, feeling greatly moved, drew near to Norine, who still lay back amid her streaming hair, with her hands pressed to her face. “Come,” said he, “you are a goodhearted girl, there is no malice in you. Why not yourself keep that dear little fellow?”
Then she uncovered her burning, tearless face: “Did the father even come to see me?” she asked bitterly. “I can’t love the child of a man who has behaved as he has! The mere thought that it’s there, in that cradle, puts me in a rage.”
“But that dear little innocent isn’t guilty. It’s he whom you condemn, yourself whom you punish, for now you will be quite alone, and he might prove a great consolation.”
“No, I tell you no, I won’t. I can’t keep a child like that with nobody to help me. We all know what we can do, don’t we? Well, it is of no use my questioning myself. I’m not brave enough, I’m not stupid enough to do such a thing. No, no, and no.”
He said no more, for he realized that nothing would prevail over that thirst for liberty which she felt in the depths of her being. With a gesture he expressed his sadness, but he was neither indignant nor angry with her, for others had made her what she was.
“Well, it’s understood, you won’t be forced to feed it,” resumed Madame Bourdieu, attempting a final effort. “But it isn’t praiseworthy to abandon the child. Why not trust it to Madame here, who would put it out to nurse, so that you would be able to take it back some day, when you have found work? It wouldn’t cost much, and no doubt the father would pay.”
This time Norine flew into a passion. “He! pay? Ah! you don’t know him. It’s not that the money would inconvenience him, for he’s a millionnaire. But all he wants is to see the little one disappear. If he had dared he would have told me to kill it! Just ask that gentleman if I speak the truth. You see that he keeps silent! And how am I to pay when I haven’t a copper, when tomorrow I shall be cast out-of-doors, perhaps, without work and without bread. No, no, a thousand times no, I can’t!”
Then, overcome by an hysterical fit of despair, she burst into sobs. “I beg you, leave me in peace. For the last fortnight you have been torturing me with that child, by keeping him near me, with the idea that I should end by nursing him. You bring him to me, and set him on my knees, so that I may look at him and kiss him. You are always worrying me with him, and making him cry with the hope that I shall pity him and take him to my breast. But, mon Dieu! can’t you understand that if I turn my head away, if I don’t want to kiss him or even to see him, it is because I’m afraid of being caught and loving him like a big fool, which would be a great misfortune both for him and for me? He’ll be far happier by himself! So, I beg you, let him be taken away at once, and don’t torture me any more.”
Sobbing violently, she again sank back in bed, and buried her dishevelled head in the pillows.
La Couteau had remained waiting, mute and motionless, at the foot of the bedstead. In her gown of dark woollen stuff and her black cap trimmed with yellow ribbons she retained the air of a peasant woman in her Sunday best. And she strove to impart an expression of compassionate goodnature to her long, avaricious, false face. Although it seemed to her unlikely that business would ensue, she risked a repetition of her customary speech.
“At Rougemont, you know, madame, your little one would be just the same as at home. There’s no better air in the Department; people come there from Bayeux to recruit their health. And if you only knew how well the little ones are cared for! It’s the only occupation of the district, to have little Parisians to coddle and love! And, besides, I wouldn’t charge you dear. I’ve a friend of mine who already has three nurslings, and, as she naturally brings them up with the bottle, it wouldn’t put her out to take a fourth for almost next to nothing. Come, doesn’t that suit you — doesn’t that tempt you?”
When, however, she saw that tears were Norine’s only answer, she made an impatient gesture like an active woman who cannot afford to lose her time. At each of her fortnightly journeys, as soon as she had rid herself of her batch of nurses at the different offices, she hastened round the nurses’ establishments to pick up infants, so as to take the train homewards the same evening together with two or three women who, as she put it, helped her “to cart the little ones about.” On this occasion she was in a greater hurry, as Madame Bourdieu, who employed her in a variety of ways, had asked her to take Norine’s child to the Foundling Hospital if she did not take it to Rougemont.
“And so,” said La Couteau, turning to Madame Bourdieu, “I shall have only the other lady’s child to take back with me. Well, I had better see her at once to make final arrangements. Then I’ll take this one and carry it yonder as fast as possible, for my train starts at six o’clock.”
When La Couteau and Madame Bourdieu had gone off to speak to Rosine, who was the “other lady” referred to, the room sank into silence save for the wailing and sobbing of Norine. Mathieu had seated himself near the cradle, gazing compassionately at the poor little babe, who was still peacefully sleeping. Soon, however, Victoire, the little servant girl, who had hitherto remained silent, as if absorbed in her sewing, broke the heavy silence and talked on slowly and interminably without raising her eyes from her needle.
“You were quite right in not trusting your child to that horrid