Sitting and waiting for the “OK” to eat.

      This rewards-based style of training might be different from what you grew up with or even at odds with what some trainers in your area are promoting. The problem with the older, largely outdated “dominance” style of training is that it often relies on pain- and fear-inducing tactics to compel a dog to behave. While advocates of that method might say that they are teaching dogs to “respect” their owners, I am not convinced that dogs have the capacity for respect; respect is a loaded word that describes a rather complex relationship between two individuals. It is widely accepted that dogs have basic emotions such as fear, happiness, anger, and anxiety; however, it has not been proven that dogs have complex emotions that require reflection, including guilt and respect.

      Books about dog cognition and behavior, such as Dog Sense by John Bradshaw, have gone in-depth into this topic using recent research. Those trainers who demand that dogs respect them may at times resort to techniques that are simply hurting or scaring the dogs. If my dog doesn’t sit, I pop him with the choke chain, and he sits to have that pain relieved. Yes, it works, but is that because the dog respects his owner as his leader? Or simply because he wants that pain to stop? This kind of training can easily be misused, eroding the trust between you and your dog and making your dog defensive around you. Training should not be a battle of wills or a struggle to be on top because it puts you at odds with your dog, and, as a result, nobody wins. Rather, training should be fun and simple enough for anyone, kids included, to do without the risk of hurting or scaring a dog. It should be something you and your dog do together.

      Positive training techniques, on the other hand, are proven to be very effective in teaching polite behaviors, with the added benefit of building clear communication and a lifelong bond with your dog. With positive training, when the dog doesn’t sit (or lie down or stay) as you’ve asked, rather than punish him, you simply withhold the reward, which is “punishment” enough to a dog. Then ask yourself why he didn’t sit. Did you use a different tone of voice this time? Were you standing farther away from him? Did the phone ring at the same time, distracting your dog? In all of these cases, it’s not the dog’s fault that he didn’t sit. It’s the human’s mistake for either asking the dog to sit in a way he didn’t understand or asking the dog to sit it in a context in which it is currently too difficult for him to concentrate. When the focus is on clear communication rather than dominance, you and your dog can learn as a team.

      Management versus Training

      Let’s say your dog jumps on the sofa without permission, and you’d like him to stop. What should you do? Well, the answer depends on several factors, ranging from the amount of time you have to train to the layout of your home.

      Management is generally the easiest option, as it doesn’t require actual training. Essentially, when you manage the space around you, you create an environment in which the dog can’t engage in the bad behavior. For example, if you don’t want your dog jumping on your sofa while you’re out, lay a folding chair across it. Now the sofa isn’t soft anymore, and your dog won’t be interested in lying there. Don’t have a folding chair? You can also manage the space by blocking his access to that room: shut certain doors, use a baby gate, or put him in a crate. Management is the appropriate choice when you can’t dedicate time to training or when you’re not there to monitor your dog (because you can’t train if you’re not present).

      Though management is generally easier to implement than training, it doesn’t actually teach the dog to be more polite. You are simply preventing the undesired behavior from happening by blocking the dog’s access to whatever is causing the problem. When the sofa is unprotected, your pup will likely hop back on it. There is nothing wrong with the management approach, as long as you realize its limitations.

      Training, on the other hand, is when we teach our dogs to do a polite behavior instead of the bad one. While I don’t have a problem gently telling a dog “No,” it’s necessary to follow it up by telling him what to do instead. This, of course, takes some time to practice. In the case of jumping on the sofa, one simple training strategy is to teach the dog to sit before being invited onto the sofa. By sitting and asking “Please,” he can have the reward of the sofa. Additionally, I would teach him a cue to go to his doggie bed because there are times when I don’t want the dog on the sofa, regardless of how politely he asks. Notice that by telling him to go to his own bed, I’m not just saying “No” to the sofa but also giving him instructions on where to go instead. Training is the way to have a truly polite dog, because it teaches your dog life skills that allow him to interact peacefully with you, your family, and your friends.

      Imagine that your dog has learned how to jump up on your kitchen counter and help himself to anything and everything in your cupboards. What would you do? The management strategy is to block the dog’s access to this area. Close doors, use gates (open floor plans be damned!), use child safety locks to protect the cupboards, or crate your dog. All of these measures will prevent the problem behavior, but it may not actually train the dog to stay off the counters.

      What about training your dog to stop counter-surfing? You can certainly do this, but just remember that every “No” should be followed with a “Do this instead.” Two of the strategies explained in later chapters would apply. One option is to teach a Leave It cue, which instructs your dog to walk away from the counter. Leave It basically tells the dog, “Stop approaching that tempting place and walk away instead.” Another possibility is teaching the dog that the kitchen is off-limits (but remember that you can only enforce such a rule when you’re home). When you’re in the kitchen cooking something delicious, send your dog out of the room and have him lie down on his bed or mat, which you can place right outside the kitchen. This is a variation of Place from Chapter 3, which tells the dog to go relax on his bed rather than to sniff around, looking for trouble. For counter-surfing or any other number of problems, such as begging at the table or dashing out an open door, Place prevents the problem from happening. Prevention is always a better strategy than doing damage control once the dog has already stolen your Thanksgiving turkey from the counter or run out the door as you