Karma. Algernon Blackwood
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be near to … death!
Phillip
Hush, hush, my darling. These are sick fancies only. Your brain is tired. We must not talk like this.
Mrs. Lattin
I am tired, yes; but it is my soul that aches and not my body. Phillip, I want your forgiveness.
Phillip
There is nothing to forgive. I love you.
Mrs. Lattin
(Spiritually tortured and perplexed.) I want your real forgiveness—before I go. I have been suffering deeply, deeply. Curtains have been rising. I almost see. Something seems growing clearer to me. I’ve done wrong somewhere! Why have I pulled against you all these years—against your work? It cannot be my love that is at fault. You’re wholly mine—and yet I want your forgiveness somehow——
Phillip
(Deep patience.) All the love and forgiveness in the world I give you, Little Child. But you ask for what was always yours.
Mrs. Lattin
Your broken mission. You alone have the strength and patience Egypt needs. I have ruined all, all, all!
Phillip
There! I forgive you, then. (Kisses her.) I forgive you all, all, all. But please calm yourself. This excitement does you harm. You torment yourself for nothing. It is I who have been, and am, the egoist. All men who think their work is a mission are shameless egoists.
Mrs. Lattin
Thank you, Phillip, for this great gift of your forgiveness. But it is not enough. I want to understand—and so forgive myself.
Phillip
You must rest now a little. It was criminal of me to let you talk so much. No, not another word. I’ll leave you for a bit. You must be calm to see the Doctor. It’s nearly six——
Mrs. Lattin
Dr. Ogilvie can’t help me.
Phillip
What! The first man of the day! His wonderful cures——
Mrs. Lattin
He cures the body only. I need a soul physician. Oh, Phillip, I believe sometimes my yearning must bring him to me.
Phillip
My darling, it is your body alone that is ill. Your suffering gives you these strange fancies.
Mrs. Lattin
You love me too well to understand. (Sighs.) My illness is not only of the body. Now, leave me, dearest. I wish to see him quite alone.
Phillip
Little Child, you shall. You can dismiss the nurse. (Glances at clock.) It is close on six.
Mrs. Lattin
Kiss me. (He kisses her softly and goes out.) If only—ah, if only my great yearning. …
[She lies back exhausted. Sighs. Covers her face with her hands. After a moment she uncovers her face and half sits up again. She stares hard at Egyptian picture on the wall.
The fault lies in my soul, and it comes first from there—from Egypt. The river is rising, rising once again. The stars are rising too. They watch me, and they wait. They’re always watching us. O God! If only some one could make me understand! If some great doctor of the soul … ! (Sinks back. Her eyes close. She lies very still.)
[A big clock on the mantelpiece strikes the first three strokes of six o’clock, then stops. The door opens slowly and a man enters quietly. He looks round the room, sees her on the sofa apparently asleep, and stands still, a few feet inside the door. He looks steadily at her a moment, then glances at the picture of Egypt on the wall. He smiles gently. His figure is a little bent, perhaps. He is not a big man with any marked presence. As he smiles, she opens her eyes and sees him. She shows surprise and slight embarrassment. She raises herself on one arm. Her voice is hushed rather when she speaks. He remains near the open door.
I beg your pardon. Is it—Dr. Ogilvie?
Doctor
I am the Doctor.
Mrs. Lattin
I must apologise. Did no one——?
Doctor
I found my way.
[Both pause, gazing.
Mrs. Lattin
(With relief.) Ah! Thank you.
[She makes an unfinished gesture towards a seat. Her eyes remain fixed on his. She smiles faintly.
Doctor
You called for me. (He makes one step nearer.)
Mrs. Lattin
My husband, I believe, did write. We—expected you.
Doctor
I am come.
Mrs. Lattin
It is exceedingly—it is more than kind of you. You are so good. I mean—(stammers; sinks back upon the cushions, unable to maintain the effort). I am very ill.
Doctor
I know.
Mrs. Lattin
You know! Ah yes—you know.
Doctor
That is why you called me. That is why I am here now.
Mrs. Lattin
I can tell you very briefly what——
Doctor
It is unnecessary.
Mrs. Lattin
But——
Doctor
I have been watching you.
[He straightens up a little; a new dignity is in him. She gazes intently. She stretches out a hand, then withdraws it, hesitatingly, again.
Mrs. Lattin
You mean——?
Doctor
I knew—that you would send for me.
Mrs. Lattin
Ah! The medical journals! My case, of course—its peculiar—er—its hopelessness.
Doctor
There are no hopeless cases. (He smiles. His voice is very gentle.)
Mrs. Lattin
(Bewildered.) You are very ki—good. I thank you, already.
Doctor
(Shaking his head quietly.) And you already—I see—are on the way to your recovery.
Mrs. Lattin
Recovery!
Doctor
Since you realise that you are very ill.
Mrs. Lattin
Oh—in that sense.
Doctor
In every sense.
[She is more and more aware of something unusual in him. She keeps her gaze steadily on his face. She makes a gesture towards him, then hesitates. She seems on the point of saying more—speaking more freely.
Mrs. Lattin
I think—there must be a mistake somewhere. I don’t quite understand how you——
Doctor