Karma. Algernon Blackwood
Читать онлайн книгу.Lattin
But you are sure it is me you have come to see?
Doctor
It is you.
Mrs. Lattin
Mrs. Lattin?
[He bows his head.
In this street and house—13 Bristol Square?
Doctor
This street, this square (moves nearer and puts his hand upon her head), this very house you occupy—for the moment.
[She stares at him. They smile. She is aware of another meaning in his words. A touch of awe shows in her manner.
Mrs. Lattin
(Low.) This—body?
Doctor
Which, for the moment, you—are occupying, Little Child.
Mrs. Lattin
(Awed.) You know that name! My husband’s secret name!
Doctor
It is—your name.
[He moves back a step so that she can see the picture. One hand he stretches towards her as in blessing. Her eyes turn from the Egyptian night-scene to his face again.
Mrs. Lattin
(Softly, to herself.) My little secret love-name. It is too marvellous—this. I am completely at a loss to—(breaks off, as he looks down and smiles at her).
Doctor
Love names truly always.
Mrs. Lattin
He … has … always … called me so.
Doctor
He has loved you truly—always.
Mrs. Lattin
(Sitting up.) But you know everything in the world! Who are you—really? (Awe increases in her.)
Doctor
I am the Doctor.
Mrs. Lattin
Doctor! The greatest calling in world! A doctor’s powers——
Doctor
Are, by rights, divine.
Mrs. Lattin
Life or death——
Doctor
Life and death.
Mrs. Lattin
(Hushed.) But—you are more than doctor; you are also—Priest.
Doctor
I am at your service.
Mrs. Lattin
(Light breaking on her face. She stretches out a hand to him. He takes it.) To heal me. I feel great power pouring from you—into me. It is like wind and fire.
Doctor
Life is a wind and fire. It is life you feel. Your claim is great, because of your great wish, your true desire. You deserve. And I have come.
Mrs. Lattin
(Puzzled.) Deserve! My great desire! My claim … !
Doctor
Your sickness is not of the heart, but of the soul. Your desire was prayer.
Mrs. Lattin
You have read my heart.
Doctor
Little Child, it is in your eyes.
Mrs. Lattin
And you know my very soul.
Doctor
Little Child, I am come to heal it.
Mrs. Lattin
Recovery! You said recovery. While I lie dying here by inches!
Doctor
You love.
Mrs. Lattin
With all my heart.
Doctor
And—soul?
[He looks questioningly down at her with great tenderness. Her expression shows the dawn of comprehension.
Mrs. Lattin
(Very low.) I love—wrongly—somewhere. I forgot—my soul. And I have wrecked him, wrecked his life, his work.
Doctor
(To himself.) Again.
Mrs. Lattin
(Not catching his word.) Is there recovery for that? Can you heal that?
Doctor
He does not question your love for him?
Mrs. Lattin
He is too big-hearted. He has sacrificed all for me. It is regret and remorse that kill me now—they bring death more quickly. If only I could understand!
Doctor
You shall.
Mrs. Lattin
(Bitterly.) When it is too late. Can you give recovery for that? Can the forgiveness that I crave—his forgiveness—undo what has been? (Hides her face and sobs.) I must die without forgiveness.
Doctor
Recovery begins with understanding.
Mrs. Lattin
I want his forgiveness.
Doctor
You must—forgive yourself.
Mrs. Lattin
Oh, oh, I do not understand. My remorse goes with me even into the grave.
Doctor
Remorse brings weakness. The forgiveness of another affects that other only.
Mrs. Lattin
(Looking up.) Yes?
Doctor
Understand. Then, without regret, go forward. To forgive yourself is—true forgiveness.
Mrs. Lattin
I feel something wonderful in you. Your words bring life again. … I. … There seems something I remember—remember almost—very dim and far away. … (Her eye falls upon the Egyptian picture. She gazes fascinated at it.) The stars … the river … are rising, surely. …
Doctor
You remember—life. And life shall teach you this.
Mrs. Lattin
Life! My life! Oh, what is it rising in me? A curtain lifts. I see … myself. Ah, now it goes again. … The pain … the pain is awful! It all has been before somewhere, I know. … Have I done this before, then? If only I could see, I might understand.
Doctor
You shall see. Understanding shall bring recovery.
[As he speaks he retires slowly backwards towards the open door. Her eyes remain fixed upon the picture.
Mrs. Lattin
Recovery! I half remember. … I begin to … understand … !
Doctor
The soul reaps ever its own harvest, for the soul is linked to all its past.
Mrs.