As I was going to Derby

      Upon a market-day,

      I met the finest ram, sir,

      That ever was fed on hay.

      This ram was fat behind, sir;

      This ram was fat before;

      This ram was ten yards high, sir;

      Indeed, he was no more.

      The wool upon his back, sir,

      Reached up unto the sky,

      The eagles build their nests there,

      For I heard the young ones cry.

      The space between the horns, sir,

      Was as far as man could reach,

      And there they built a pulpit,

      But no-one in it preached.

      This ram had four legs to walk upon,

      This ram had four legs to stand,

      And every leg he had, sir,

      Stood on an acre of land.

      Now the man that fed the ram, sir,

      He fed him twice a day,

      And each time that he fed him, sir,

      He ate a rick of hay.

      The wool upon this ram’s tail

      Was very fine and thin.

      It took all the girls in Derby town

      Seven years to spin.

      And if you don’t believe me

      And think it is a lie,

      Then you go down to Derby town

      And see as well as I.

      As I was going to St. Ives

      I met a man with seven wives.

      Every wife had seven sacks,

      Every sack had seven cats,

      Every cat had seven kits.

      Kits, cats, sacks, and wives,

      How many were going to St. Ives?

      As I was going up Pippen Hill,

      Pippen Hill was dirty.

      There I met a pretty miss

      And she dropt me a curtsey.

      Little miss, pretty miss,

      Blessings light upon you!

      If I had half a crown a day,

      I’d spend it gladly on you.

      As round as an apple,

      As deep as a cup,

      And all the king’s horses

      Can’t fill it up.

      If you are to be a gentleman,

      As I suppose you’ll be,

      You’ll neither laugh nor smile,

      For a tickling of the knee.

      Barney Bodkin broke his nose,

      Without feet we can’t have toes;

      Crazy folks are always mad,

      Want of money makes us sad.

      A was an archer, who shot at a frog,

      B was a butcher, and had a great dog.

      C was a captain, all covered with lace,

      D was a drunkard, and had a red face.

      E was an esquire, with pride on his brow,

      F was a farmer, and followed the plow.

      G was a gamester, who had but ill-luck,

      H was a hunter, and hunted a buck.

      I was an innkeeper, who loved to carouse,

      J was a joiner, and built up a house.

      K was King William, once governed this land,

      L was a lady, who had a white hand.

      M was a miser, and hoarded up gold,

      N was a nobleman, gallant and bold.

      O was an oyster girl, and went about town,

      P was a parson, and wore a black gown.

      Q was a queen, who wore a silk slip,

      R was a robber, and wanted a whip.

      S was a sailor, and spent all he got,

      T was a tinker, and mended a pot.

      U was an usurer, a miserable elf,

      V was a vintner, who drank all himself.

      W was a watchman, and guarded the door,

      X was expensive, and so became poor.

      Y was a youth, that did not love school,

      Z was a zany, a poor harmless fool.