How to Make Anyone Fall in Love With You: 85 Proven Techniques for Success. Leil Lowndes
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interruption together, and then simultaneously looking back at each other.
Dr Perper wrote, ‘Once synchronized, couples can stay in synchronicity seemingly indefinitely until the bar closes, until they finish dinner and drinks and must leave, until their train reaches wherever it is going; to put it another way, until the business of the outside world intervenes and causes their interaction to stop.’22 However, if either partner tripped up on even just one of the above five steps (for example, not getting in synchronicity with each other), Timothy Perper and his research associates knew they could start humming the couple’s swan song.
Recently, I had the pleasure of watching a couple who were obviously very much in love. I was dining in a restaurant at a table facing the bar where a young couple was sitting. Their bodies were completely facing each other, and they were leaning towards each other, practically falling off their stools. They smiled and nodded as each crooned out bits of conversation. Their hands occasionally brushed each other’s and their movements were in total synchronicity as they lifted their glasses and returned them to the bar. They laughed together. They frowned together. Except for the moments when an outside noise invaded their private world, they maintained total eye contact. Even then they turned their heads away and looked back towards each other in unison. People would say they are in love.
As I was paying my bill, the waitress noticed my watching the couple. Smiling broadly, she said, ‘Yes, I’ve been watching them, too. Aren’t they sweet?’
‘Yes,’ I agreed. ‘They look like they’re very much in love.’
‘Oh, no,’ she said. ‘They just met ten minutes ago!’
I thought, both of them must have read Perper’s Principles. Or they were, as Annie Oakley in Annie Get Your Gun says, ‘jes’ doin’ a what comes natch-ur-lee!’
The Dance of Intimacy takes two partners. Even when you are Quarry you must remember the steps. Sadly, many potential relationships never get off the ground because, accidentally, the Quarry repels the Hunter with his or her body language.
Unlike deer or bear hunters, human Hunters and Huntresses suffer from a malady. It’s called insecurity or shyness. When a Hunter or Huntress levels sights at you, you must show you are willing Quarry and be a good follower in the Dance of Intimacy.
I was once at a party with a girlfriend, Diana. An attractive man smiled at Diana, and she looked away. She confided to me, ‘That good-looking guy over there smiled at me.’
‘Great,’ I said. ‘Smile back.’
Soon after, the fellow was standing near us. I don’t know whether it was shyness or a desire to play it cool, but instead of turning towards him and smiling Diana just kept on chatting with me. A few minutes later we saw the good-looking stranger in a warm tête-à-tête with another woman. Diana was crushed. She said to me, ‘Oh, I guess he saw me up close and decided not to talk to me.’
‘No, Diana,’ I said, wanting to shake her. ‘You just didn’t respond to his overtures.’ She missed step one in the basic dance of lovers – turning towards him to show receptivity.
Missed opportunities like this one are happening round the clock, round the globe. Often willing Quarry crying to be captured becomes the one that got away.
The Word That Can Save Your Relationship
As you are chatting with your new Quarry, it begins to dawn on you: ‘This person really is special. It’s not just physical attraction. This individual has relationship potential.’ Within thirty seconds your heart starts pumping a little faster and your throat suddenly goes dry. Could this be the start of something big?
Instead of mission control directing all the parts of your body to make all the right moves, your brain suddenly begins wondering about the impression you are making on your Quarry. Your breath becomes short. You sense a delirious drowning feeling. Unfortunately, that is a side effect of PEA shooting through your brain.
Watch out! You cannot be your engaging and scintillating self if nervousness sets in and you start thinking about your every move. There is no time now to concentrate on Perper’s Principles and try to recall if touch comes before synchronicity. Or was it turning before touch? At high-anxiety moments like these you need a simple technique to make your body do precisely what Dr Perper prescribes so you can pay attention to what your fabulous new Quarry is saying.
Hunters, the following is especially important for you because men often forget that times have changed. In the old days a woman had to be impressed with your muscles or your speed and know you could go out into the jungle and trap a wild pig or a rabbit for dinner. However, many women today can afford their own pork pâté or rabbit chasseur at a fancy restaurant. The name of the game is no longer impress a woman. It’s show how impressed you are with her.
Huntresses, most of us were weaned on boosting the male ego. Perhaps some chemical in mother’s milk told us to kow-tow to all the men in our life. By age five we had already learned what worked: ‘Oh, Daddykins, you’re so wunderful. I know you’ll buy me that Barbie doll.’ Then something happened: we grew up. Some of us became feminists. Like throwing out the baby with the bath water, many women threw out the ‘Oh, you’re so wunderful’ attitude along with their tattered Barbie dolls.
The modern woman feels she needs to express her capability, her independence, her super-intelligence straight away. Wrong! There is plenty of time to show a man these qualities later, and you must show them if you want to have a good relationship with mutual respect. But now is not the time! Now is the time to make the man feel that you think he is just absolutely, positively ‘wunderful’.
Both men and women are infinitely more drawn to someone who instantly likes them. In several studies, men and women who didn’t know each other were told, falsely, by researchers that another participant liked them. When later questioned whom they liked in the group, practically every participant chose someone of the opposite sex who supposedly ‘liked them’. Unfortunately, you don’t have a researcher whispering in your Quarry’s ear how much you like them, so you must demonstrate that all on your own. Since saying ‘I like you’ sounds a tad abrupt in words, leave it to your body to do the talking for you.
While chatting with him or her, think of this one word: soften. Match your body language up against the acronym which spells soften. It’s an insurance policy against tripping in the Dance of Intimacy.
TECHNIQUE 9
Soften Your Quarry’s Heart
S is for smile. As you are listening to your Quarry, let a soft smile of acceptance frame your lips.
O is for open body. Face your Quarry fully, nose to nose, belly to belly. Keep your arms open in a relaxed, inviting position.
F is for forward lean. Lean towards your Quarry or stand or sit just a tad too close to show you are physically attracted.
T is for touch. Gently, even ‘accidentally’, touch your Quarry’s arm or brush a piece of thread from his or her clothing.
E is for eye contact. Remember to use all four of the eye allure techniques we discussed.
N is for nod. Nod your head gently in response to whatever your Quarry is saying.