How to Make Anyone Fall in Love With You: 85 Proven Techniques for Success. Leil Lowndes
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decided to add my own research to Monica Moore’s established findings when I was dining alone recently at one of the ubiquitous TGIF restaurants in Albany, New York. I was giving a talk the following morning to a singles’ group, so as I was finishing dinner I was running the next day’s seminar programme over in my mind. In my talk I planned a segment on the ‘smile’, in which I would tell women how important it is to smile at an attractive man.
I thought to myself, ‘Leil, you hypocrite. Tomorrow morning you’ll be telling women to have the courage to smile at strangers, and you don’t even have the nerve to do it yourself.’ While ruminating over this, I spotted a good-looking man reading while finishing his dinner a few tables from me. I thought, ‘OK, Leil, courage. Let’s try it.’ So I smiled at this handsome stranger.
The poor chap looked a little stunned and dove his astonished nose back into his book. Soon after, he looked up again. I smiled again. Once more his nose disappeared in his reading material. A few minutes later the handsome stranger got up and walked past my table to go to the men’s room. As he passed, I forced myself to smile yet again. The perplexed fellow kept on walking, scratching his head.
Then things got interesting. On the way back from the men’s room he walked very slowly by my table. Once more I looked up at him and – you guessed it – smiled. Mr Handsome Stranger stopped walking. After the flood of smiles I had drowned him in, it was perfectly logical to start chatting as if we had been formally introduced. He joined me at my table for coffee.
Well, I invited this gentleman – his name was Sam – to attend my seminar the next morning, which he did. To illustrate the ‘smile’ part of my seminar, I told the audience the story (without revealing Sam’s identity, of course) of how my smile had engineered a meeting with the lone diner.
After the seminar, Sam said, ‘You know, Leil, I suppose you were talking about me in that little story you told. But,’ he added, looking thoroughly confused and quite sincere, ‘I thought it was I who made the approach to you.’ Of course, Sam.
I tell you, Sisters, the male ego is a wondrous thing. Have the courage to smile broadly, nod, point to a chair and invite him to sit – or choose almost any of Monica Moore’s manoeuvres – and he will forget that he didn’t make the first approach.
TECHNIQUE 8 (FOR HUNTRESSES)
Move First
Huntresses, when you spot a possible Quarry, do not wait for his approach. Nature decrees that you must make the first move. Use any of the proven ploys. It is as close to jabbing his buttocks with a syringe filled with PEA as you can get.
Your First Body Language
Science documents that early body language of both partners is crucial to whether love will develop or not. One of the most tireless researchers in the laboratory of love was Dr Timothy Perper, who spent more than 2,000 gruelling hours perched on stools of singles’ bars, scrutinizing men, women and their early courting moves.
Like researchers tracking the mating habits of hamsters, Dr Perper spotted the identical courtship pattern repeatedly in his singles’ bar laboratory. Night after night he stayed resolutely at his post, scribbling notations, devising charts and hypothesizing formulae as men and women picked each other up. Then, in the finest scientific tradition, he broke the body language pattern of couples getting to know each other into five very specific steps.
Dr Perper’s findings reveal that when both partners stuck to a precise sequence of moves, the couple wound up leaving together or making a date. However, if either partner broke the sequence – even accidentally – the couple drifted apart.
Many people looking for love take lessons in social dancing hoping to meet a Potential Lover Partner. They painstakingly learn the steps to the foxtrot, the waltz, the cha-cha and the rhumba. But they fall flat on their faces in the most important dance of all, the one the good doctor dubbed the Dance of Intimacy.
What are the steps to the Dance of Intimacy? They are as clear and as carefully choreographed as those of the Tennessee Waltz. They are the sequential movements you must make if intimacy is to develop with your PLP. Pay attention to each of the following five subconscious body language steps because, if you slip on any of them, your Quarry will lose interest and wander back into the singles’ jungle.
Step One: Non-verbal Signal After the two partners are within speaking range, one or the other makes his or her presence known (as described in the previous chapter) by a smile, a nod or a glance.
Step Two: Talk
One of the two then speaks. Perhaps he or she makes a comment or asks a question. Even a simple ‘Hi’ will do, but something verbal takes place.
Step Three: Turning
Now it gets interesting. When one partner throws out the verbal signal, the recipient must turn at least the head fully towards the speaker and acknowledge the comment receptively. If he or she does not, the Hunter seldom tries again.
However, if the partner does turn warmly towards the speaker, they fall into conversation. Then a crucial pivoting takes place. Hunter and Quarry gradually switch from just their heads turned towards each other to their shoulders. If they like each other, their torsos soon turn, followed by their knees. Finally, in successful meetings, their whole bodies wind up facing each other.
This head-to-head, belly-to-belly, knees-to-knees gradual sequence can take from minutes to hours. With each increasing turn, intimacy increases. With each turn away, intimacy decreases.
Step Four: Touching
Concomitant with talking and gradually turning towards each other comes a powerful aphrodisiac, touch. A slight brush of his hand while he passes you a pretzel, a light touch on your jacket as she whisks away a piece of thread. The touch is fleeting, almost imperceptible.
How you respond to his or her first touch is a big factor in whether the interaction continues or not. If he or she brushes your jacket and you slightly stiffen your shoulders, your partner can subliminally interpret this as rejection – often wrongly. But it is too late.
At this point in the progression, Dr Perper tells us, it becomes impossible to tell which is Hunter and which is Quarry. Once the initial touch has been executed, well received and even returned, the man and woman are on their way to becoming, at least for the duration of the evening, a couple.
At about this point, yet another phenomenon takes place. Eye contact takes on a different character. As early as 1977 a researcher observed escalating eye contact in couples as they went from more formal eye contact to gazing. Their eyes gradually embarked on travels all over each other’s faces, hair, necks, shoulders and torsos.21 This is the visual voyage we talked about earlier.
Step Five: Synchronization
The final step is the most fascinating to watch. As though to confirm their new-found affection for each other, the couple begins to move in synchronicity with each other.
For example, the man and woman may reach for their drinks at the same time and put their glasses back on the table