CHAPTER 8

       Shaw

      I was having a hard time concentrating in my study group, which wasn’t a good thing because we were all expected to carry our own weight. I was pretty good with anatomy so I wasn’t too worried about falling behind, but I didn’t want anyone else to fall behind because I couldn’t keep my head in the game. Trying to find time to work in Rule with my already busy schedule was proving to be a daunting and frustrating task. In the last two weeks I had only managed to squeeze in two lunch dates when he had time between clients, a Friday night when he came to the bar with his friends and hung out with me until I got off, and a subsequent Saturday night that, of course, led to Sunday morning. I had to work, so Sunday was just a brief kiss good-bye and then I was on my way out the door. We talked on the phone and texted back and forth, but it wasn’t enough for me. Now that I was sleeping with him on a regular basis it wasn’t enough for the me who wanted nothing more than to roll around in bed with him every chance she got.

      I was blushing at a particularly hot memory when one of the girls had to tap me on the shoulder to get my attention. I’m sure my face was bright red so I cleared my throat and fanned myself down with the notebook I was using to take notes. “Sorry, what did you ask?”

      She repeated the question and I stumbled through an answer, telling myself I had to stay focused for the remaining hour of the session. My phone went off a couple times in my pocket but like a good college student I ignored it and gritted my teeth through the rest of the question-and-answer portion of the meeting. As soon as time was up, I gathered my things and bolted out of the room we were using for the meeting. It was rude but I didn’t even bother to say good-bye to my classmates. I wanted to see what was on my phone. Rule liked to send me dirty text messages when I least expected it. They made me get all breathless and silly and I couldn’t wait to see what these might read. Only the name on my phone wasn’t his, but Gabe’s, and that made me want to toss the little device onto the ground. My mom was still insisting on a family get-together; luckily her schedule was so busy that I had managed to avoid it and Gabe for the last few weeks, but from the sounds of the messages he had left me that was no longer the case.

       Shaw, I spoke to your mother today. She would like me to bring you to Brookside on Saturday night for dinner at the club. She would like you to stay the night there and then we are doing a big gathering at her house on Sunday for brunch. My parents will be there along with several other influential people.

      I groaned out loud and scrolled down to the next message.

       I know you are hesitant to spend time alone with me after my erratic behavior, but I assure you, my intentions are good. All I’m offering is a ride.

      I most definitely didn’t want to be stuck in a car with Gabe for an hour and I most certainly didn’t want to deal with my mother for an entire weekend. Plus, Saturday night had proven the one night a week I actually got to spend with Rule and I absolutely didn’t want to give that up, but I didn’t see where I had a choice. I bit my lip and replied that I would be there but that I would be driving myself. There was no way in hell I was going to Brookside without a way to escape. He texted back that that would be fine and asked if I would mind giving him a ride. I wanted to say no but figured it wouldn’t hurt anything to just take him and drop him off. We arranged to meet at a bakery that was between our two places on Saturday morning and I was just about to put the phone away when Black Rebel Motorcycle Club trilled from my hand. Rule’s sneering face looked up at me from the display and I couldn’t hold in a smile.

      Ayden warned me every single day that I had to be careful. I was in love with Rule; Rule wasn’t in love with me. We were having sex, really amazing, make-the-world-stop sex, but he never, ever mentioned anything about a relationship or how he felt. My roommate was sure I was standing on the cliff of an epic heartbreak, just waiting to fall over. For now I was okay taking what he was willing to give—I mean, it was more than he had ever given to anybody else—but in the back of my mind I knew it wouldn’t be enough forever, and eventually something between us was going to have to change, or at the very least, be defined into clearer terms that I could live with.

      “Hey, you, I thought you were working late tonight,” I said.

      “I am. I’m also starving and wondering if you’ve eaten yet.”

      “No. I just got out of my study group and have to go work on a project for my anatomy class.”

      “Is it something you can do here?”

      I tucked a piece of hair behind my ear and stepped gingerly across the icy parking lot. “At the shop?”

      “Yeah. We have Wi-Fi and it’s just me and my client so it’s quiet. You can grab some food and then work here for a couple hours until I’m done. We can go back to my place later if you want.”

      I so totally did want. I bit my lip and got into my car. “Are you sure you can work with me hanging around? I mean, I don’t want to distract you or anything.”

      He gave a soft laugh that sent goose bumps running up and down my arms.

      “While you are quite a distraction, Casper, my client is a fifty-five-year-old retired homicide detective who would gladly wring my neck if I screw his piece up. It’s a memorial tattoo in honor of his son who died in Afghanistan. Feed me so that I can do a good job and not get my ass kicked.”

      I laughed and clamped the phone between my shoulder and ear. I hadn’t ever been in Rule’s shop. That seemed like a line that our previous relationship didn’t cross, but I had to admit I was curious to see what the inside of a real tattoo parlor looked like. “What do you want me to bring you?”

      “I don’t care. I’m not picky, just make sure there is a lot of whatever it is.”

      “All right, I’m still at the school so give me a half hour or so.”

      “Cool.”

      He hung up without saying good-bye, something that drove me nuts because he always did it, but I was learning that he had a lot of weird quirks that I’d never noticed before. There was a lot I was learning about him, things that I had missed over the years that surprised me, like the fact that he was such a good friend. I had seen him interact with Rome and Remy so I knew he was giving and loving to those he cared about, but he was the same way with his boys. Nash and Rule were most definitely a team. When one zigged the other zagged instinctively. They lived in sync, worked in sync, and it was clear to see that they just got each other, and as high maintenance and complicated as Rule was I had to admit it was fascinating to watch. They made each other laugh and made each other mad. Rule was kind of a slob and Nash was a neat freak, but they took care of each other in different ways. Nash tended to be quieter and let things slide—like the jerk across the street taking his parking spot even though it was snowy and cold, didn’t bother him enough to make a fuss—but Rule was a born fighter, a hothead who refused to let anything ride. The guy in Nash’s spot came out to find an elaborate scene of a big purple dinosaur getting head from what looked to be a perverted Yoda on the hood of his car in washable paint. Sure he was furious and wanted to call the cops, but Nash had talked him out of it by pointing out that he could have had the car impounded, which would cost more than a trip to the car wash. It showed how the boys just balanced each other out.

      I decided on Chinese because I could grab a decent variety of things and I love sesame chicken. There was a line and I had to wait for what seemed like an eternity to get it. It was closer to an hour by the time I found the shop and a place to park that wouldn’t take me an hour to walk there. Parking on Capitol Hill was a nightmare and walking on the crowded sidewalk with bags full of takeout and my laptop case proved to be an interesting challenge, but I made it, and the glass door painted with an interesting mélange of old-school sailor tattoos swung open before I had to figure out what to juggle in my full hands in order to pull it open. Rule took the food from me, pressed a quick, hard kiss on my startled mouth, and ushered me into the tattoo parlor. He flipped the sign on the door to closed