The Marked Men Series Books 1–6: Rule, Jet, Rome, Nash, Rowdy, Asa. Jay Crownover
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that Rome was the one she called on even though he had already told him it was my errand. I wasn’t going to say anything, but Rome chuckled and patted my dad on the back.
“Not me, old-timer. Shaw and Rule have called a truce. You should see them; they actually act civil and spend time together like normal people do. He’s the one who told her he would get the car, I just got roped into being the second driver.”
My dad looked over Rome’s broad shoulder at me with shock clear on his face. “Really? You two were always at odds, even when you were young.”
I shrugged. “I’m trying to grow up a little bit. She’s been in my life a long time and I’m trying to put that into a new perspective. We get along fine.” Plus, spending time with her naked as often as possible was my new top priority in life, and doing things that made her happy and kept her safe also had the bonus of making me happy, which was such a new feeling I wasn’t sure what to do with it yet.
“Well, maybe you can tell her how hard it’s been for your mom without her around. Getting her to come by for a visit would be lovely.”
“She has her reasons for staying away, Dad.” My tone sharpened reflexively, but I kept my face smoothed out, trying to belie the tension that was growing as we walked into the living room where my mom was watching TV on the sofa. Her eyes snapped from Rome to me and then back. Even from across the room I could feel the displeasure radiating off her.
“What are you doing here?” She didn’t even look at Rome; her eyes were glued to me, and her anger was like a whip across my skin. I shoved my hands in my pockets and met her gaze with a level one of my own. I wasn’t going to let her get under my skin this time—I owed it to my brother and to my girl.
“Just came by to say hi and see how you’re doing.”
“I don’t want you here.” Rome went stiff beside me and I heard my dad take in a quick breath, but I wasn’t surprised.
“I know, but I thought it wouldn’t kill me to try and fix things.”
“Why bother? You just ruin everything.” Her voice was raspy and I swore I could see the hatred she harbored hanging off each syllable. My dad took a step forward but Rome pulled him back. “Margot, that’s enough. The boy is our son, not a stranger we’re going to just put out on the street because you’re unhappy with him right now.”
“Dad, it’s cool. I know how she feels and she’s never hidden it.”
“What do you expect, Rule? Because of you your brother is in a box in the ground and the girl I think of as a daughter won’t have anything to do with me. You’re a poison to this family.”
Well, that was a little harsher and a little blunter than she normally went for, but it was finally out in the open. I rubbed my fists in my eyes and let out a sigh. My dad and Rome were trying to talk over each other, both trying to get her to retract her awful statements and telling her that none of it was true, but it was to no avail.
“Hey, hey, everybody stop. It’s okay. Come on, Rome, don’t act like you’re shocked. She’s always blamed me because I called him that night for a ride. It’s cool, I get it. In fact, I blamed myself for a long time, too, until I realized it could have been a million other reasons. It was an accident, an accident that took someone we all loved, but still an accident. She could blame the truck driver, she could blame Remy for speeding, she could blame God for the rain or even the doctor in the ER for not being good enough at his job, but no, she blames me and always will, and it’s fine if that’s what she needs to do in order to keep it together. I can shoulder that load.” All three of them were looking at me with wide eyes. It was probably the most I had said to my parents in one sitting in more than five years, and there was no yelling and no temper tantrums.
“Shaw is a smart girl and has strong convictions, so I refuse to let you put your actions and consequences with her on me. She told you straight up what you needed to do in order to maintain your relationship with her and you refused. No one is to blame for that but you.”
“You don’t know anything about Shaw. She is in a totally different league from you. She and Remy were both on a far better path than you ever dreamed to walk.”
I just shook my head sadly and jerked my head toward the door. “Mom, you have no clue. Shaw’s the most loving, kind, compassionate person in the world. She would chew off her own arm before trying to put herself above someone she cares about. She doesn’t give a flip about this path or that path as long as everyone she loves is going somewhere and at the end they’re happy. I’m outta here. I have shit to do. Dad, it was good seeing you. Rome, I’ll be in the truck.”
I turned to walk back down the hall and out the front door but her chilly voice stopped me cold. “Stay away from Shaw, Rule. You’ll just end up hurting her like you did your brother.”
I wanted to tell her it was way too late for that warning. That I was beginning to know Shaw inside and out and that she was becoming a critical part of me, but I just met her cold gaze with one that I’m sure held resigned sadness. “Good luck ever getting her back into the Archer family fold with that kind of attitude, Mom. Keep it up and it’ll be a cold day in hell before Shaw ever steps foot in this house again.”
“Why she would choose you over this family is beyond me.”
I gave her the only answer there was. “Because she thinks I’m worth it.”
I gave Rome a bland look and moved around him, being careful to avoid my dad. I didn’t look back to see if either of them followed me but when I got outside I let out a pent-up breath and looked at the street blanketed in snow. Her words hurt, they always had, but instead of feeling self-destructive and alone like I normally did, I could fully see now that the issues were all hers and there was nothing I could do to change her mind unless she actively sought out help. Too much time had passed with me playing the role of the accused for me to offer any form of clarity to her.
“Son.” I was startled at the sound of my dad’s voice. He had stopped to grab a jacket but had followed me to the driveway. Rome was nowhere to be seen. I shifted my feet in the powder and shoved my hands deep inside the pockets of my hoodie. “We need to talk about this.”
“So much for this always being my home, huh, Dad?” I regretted it as soon as I said it. There was still a little boy somewhere deep inside me who wanted his parents’ approval and no matter how hard I tried I just couldn’t get him to shut up. “Sorry, that was stupid.”
My dad shook his head, and for once, I saw genuine remorse in his gaze. “I had no idea it had gotten this bad with your mother, Rule. I’m not a fan of the crazy hair or the obsessive tattoos all over every part of your body, and it bugs me to no end that you purposely dress like a hoodlum just to annoy us, but I’ve never blamed you for what happened to Remy. You were two very different boys, always were, but I loved you both the same. I heard what your mother said at the funeral but I convinced myself it was just grief, just a mother’s overreaction to losing a child too young. I honestly thought she would find her way clear of the sorrow and depression, but after today I see where Rome is coming from. We need help; she needs help. I would never ban a child from my home—pink hair, blue hair, green hair—none of it ultimately matters because I love you and I just want you to be happy and live a good life. I would prefer you stop aggravating an old man every chance you got while doing it, but I don’t want you to think that I ever wish it was you and not Remy that night. It should have never happened to this family, but it did, and you are absolutely right that it was an accident.”
I stared at my dad like he was a stranger. It was cold and I could barely feel my toes but my blood was pumping fast and hard in my veins. “You’ve never said any of that to me before. You normally just get mad and leave the room or let Mom tear me apart at every turn.”
“You’ve always been hard for me to relate to, Rule. Rome was my buddy, Remy was everybody’s best friend, and you, well, you made your own path when you were just a little fella and I never felt like you needed any kind of guidance from me to get where you wanted to go. Your mother is fragile,