The Marked Men Series Books 1–6: Rule, Jet, Rome, Nash, Rowdy, Asa. Jay Crownover
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dangling approval and acceptance in front of me like a golden carrot, they didn’t know what to do now that it held no appeal for me. Having the power now should have felt exhilarating, but instead it just left me hollow. I should have fought them sooner. I should have felt this way as soon as Rule and I started whatever it was we had been doing. I had wasted so much time, and it just piled more sadness and regret on top of what I was already managing.
“Thanks, Lou.” I gave him one of the strained smiles that I was becoming a pro at and let him scoop me up in a bear hug as he walked me to my car after my shift. I hadn’t heard a word from Gabe in weeks, but it made me feel better to know someone cared enough to make sure I was safe, so I never turned Lou down when he offered to see me to my car. This was an odd night on for me, meaning I had just picked up a shift because one of the girls was sick, so Ayden wasn’t working and I was alone. In fact, my roommate seemed to have shaken out of her funk and was on a date with a very cute physics major who just happened to be as different from a rock-and-roller as one could get. She had gone out with him twice this week and seemed a little more like her old self. I was happy for her even if it meant one more night I spent wallowing in misery by myself. No one said the road to recovery was pretty, after all.
Lou set me back on my feet and gave me a peck on the forehead. “I miss that young man of yours, Shaw. He was a smartass, but a good kid.”
I sighed because I kept having this same conversation with Lou. “I know. I miss him, too.”
“Take care, girly.”
“I always try.”
My new car was awesome; I’m not going to lie. It purred like all good sports cars should, but had no trouble navigating the icy downtown streets as I made my way across town to my apartment. I listened to the Avett Brothers sing me sad songs about broken hearts all the way. It was well after midnight on a weekday, so there wasn’t really anybody out on the road. A dog barked somewhere, it was cold and dark, and I shivered involuntarily. I hated this part of the drive home; it just hammered home the fact that I was really and truly on my own now. I was lucky to get a spot right in front of the building and sprinted to the security door because my uniform wasn’t meant to be worn outside at the tail end of a Denver winter. I heard the familiar click of the lock when I punched in my code, and ran inside.
I blew a warm breath on my fingers and dug around in my purse for my house keys, since I still hadn’t added the new key for my SUV to the set. Normally, I had them out and ready to go, but lately I had been so distracted by all the noise in my head and the heavy weight in my chest, that maintaining my personal safety had fallen somewhere toward the bottom of the priority list. I had just pushed the key in the lock and was getting ready to turn the deadbolt when a deep voice said my name from over my shoulder. For a split second I was excited. Unbridled relief flooded through me, because the only guy who would be waiting for me at my apartment was Rule. Before I could turn around and throw my arms around him, hard hands grabbed me by the back of the neck and shoved me face-first into the door. I gasped in shock, some part of my brain flashing that I should be screaming for help right now, but the door swung open with the flick of a wrist decked out in an all-too-familiar Tag Heuer watch, and I went stumbling forward as rough hands pushed me inside.
My purse went flying and I was stunned to see Gabe standing before me. He looked as pressed and polished as usual, except his eyes were crazy and he had a demented grin on his face that terrified me. I couldn’t move.
“How did you get in here?” I knew this wasn’t good. I wasn’t safe with him, didn’t want to be alone with him at all, but the apartment was tiny and there wasn’t anywhere to run. My mace was in my purse on the floor, and the Taser that Rule had bought for me was resting uselessly in my new car. I was really regretting not letting Rule leave his gun over here all the times he had asked when we were seeing each other.
Gabe ran obviously agitated hands through his dark hair and watched me like any other predator watched its intended prey. “I told your mother that we were working toward reconciliation and wanted to surprise you. She gave me the code. I followed you home from work since the freak is obviously out of the picture and the military monkey hasn’t been around. I figured now was as good a time as any for us to get on the same page.”
He was so cold, so matter-of-fact, that I didn’t even think he understood he had just forced his way into my apartment and that I was trembling in fear. I crossed my arms over my chest to try to bluff away some of the terror I was feeling but he just continued to watch me like he was mentally taking me apart.
“We aren’t even reading from the same book, Gabe. You need to go because in like two seconds I’m about to start screaming my damn head off.”
He shook his head and made a tsk-tsk sound. “Well, you see, Shaw, things have really gone to shit for me. Ever since your thug of a boyfriend made me look like a pansy and my dad pulled the plug on my credit cards because of that little stunt you pulled with the restraining order, things have been going downhill. I’m failing my political theory class, my fraternity wants me out because apparently it’s not okay to let some guy with the IQ of a sewer rat make you look like a sucker on your own campus, my parents are furious with me over the restraining order, and the internship I wanted with your mother’s campaign fell through because she simply didn’t have time to get it together. So you see, Shaw, ever since you decided to be a selfish whore and turn your back on all the great things we could have had, I’ve been having to work double time to get what I deserve.”
He was crazy, flat-out off his freaking rocker. I was trying to edge away from him because I knew if he moved close enough to get his hands on me things were going to go from terrifying to unimaginably horrible.
“I’m sorry you’re having a hard time with things, Gabe, but you shouldn’t have messed with my car. It pushed Rule over the edge. I told you to leave me alone or you wouldn’t like what he was going to do.”
I shrieked because apparently bringing up Rule was the wrong thing to do. Gabe moved faster than I would have thought he was able to. He chased me as I pedaled backward, keeping as much space between us as I could. Unfortunately, he caught me in the living room, and even though I fought, he was just bigger and stronger. He grabbed me by the throat and we struggled all the way to the floor. I kicked an end table over, which made a huge racket and earned me a backhand across the cheek that split the side of my lip open. He sat all the way across my middle, pinning my arms to my sides and wrapped a hand around my throat. My eyes were watering from the tears of fear and the struggle to breathe. I clawed at his squeezing hands and flailed my legs but he just bent over me and continued to tighten his hands around my neck.
“You think I care what that loser thinks? You think I give a single fuck what that degenerate wants to do to me? He’s nothing. I told you all along that he wouldn’t stick around. Now look at you—all alone and finally doing things my way. I told you I would get my way. I always do.”
I needed to get away from Gabe. He was going to kill me, seriously kill me. My vision was starting to blur in and out and my lungs were on fire. He kept squeezing and sitting on me while telling me all about how we were getting back together and how I was going to call my mother and have her reconsider her actions about his internship now that we were a couple. I shook my head back and forth, gasping for any air, and managed to get my hands between us enough that I jabbed my nails hard into the underside of his biceps, making him wince and reel up enough that I could crawl a little bit away from him. I sliced my hand open on a piece of the broken lamp as I scrambled to get my feet under me only to be dragged back down by a cruel hand in my hair. I grunted as his weight landed squarely on my back and had to blink away a steady flow of blood as the side of my head made contact with the leg of the overturned table.
“Ayden is going to be home any minute.” My voice was thready and thin from the pressure he had put on my neck, but it didn’t matter anyway; he simply jerked me back to my feet and pressed me so that I was folded in half over the back of the couch. I was trying desperately not to think about how little of a barrier my work uniform offered in the way of deterring him but he bent his face low to mine, not seeming to mind in the slightest that blood was getting everywhere.
“Who