Jenny Colgan 3-Book Collection: Amanda’s Wedding, Do You Remember the First Time?, Looking For Andrew McCarthy. Jenny Colgan
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bloody fuss about it, you might as well have it. It doesn’t matter to me, but it looks like it matters to you.’
‘Of course it doesn’t matter to me,’ growled Angus, who looked sullen and red.
‘Well, what then? What the hell is it? Why won’t you leave this damn thing alone? You’re trying to sabotage this whole thing, and I don’t even know why.’
His face was a mixture of anger and misery, and genuine miscomprehension.
Angus bowed his head low. ‘I’m sorry we came.’
‘I’m sorry you came. And why are you dragging Melanie into it, for God’s sake?’
I snuffled.
‘I’m sorry I did that too,’ said Angus. ‘I meant well. I’m sorry.’
‘Please,’ said Fraser. ‘Please, just … leave it alone. You’re like a dog with something between its teeth, Gus. Always have been. You won’t let things fucking well alone.’
‘I’d better be going.’
‘You better had.’
I stood up awkwardly to follow him.
Fraser took my arm and looked at me with some concern.
‘Are you going to be OK?’
‘Do you hate me?’ I choked.
He smiled sadly. ‘No, of course not. Gus, are you going to take her home?’
Angus nodded. Fraser turned away from us.
‘Bye then.’ It was a dismissal.
We trooped through the corridor. As we got to the door, Angus turned round and went back to the sitting room. Blindly, I followed him.
‘Do you …’ he began, as he stepped through the door.
Fraser was sitting there, staring at the tape recorder in his hands. He looked up at his brother, his eyes damp.
‘What?’ he growled, caught off guard.
Angus blushed furiously. ‘Nothin’. Just wondering about cabs. Bye.’
That time we left for good.
Angus strode fiercely through the park, the rain blowing back his hair and coat, all mention of a cab apparently forgotten. I trotted along beside him, ashamed of myself, and terrified of what he was going to say. I felt like such a stupid girl. He didn’t speak for what seemed like miles. I was tempted to slip quietly behind him and go the other way, but I didn’t dare. Suddenly, in the dark, I tripped over something or other and let out a strangled yell. Angus whipped back and immediately his stony face softened.
‘Are you OK?’ he yelled across the wind.
‘I’m … fine,’ I croaked, although I didn’t feel fine at all. I tried to stand up, and it was agonizing. Angus caught me keeling over.
‘What’ve you done?’
‘I … I think I’ve twisted my ankle.’ I leaned on him heavily, feeling a bit green.
‘Are you going to be sick?’
‘I wouldn’t …’ I tried to take a step forward, ‘rule it out as a possibility.’
‘Great,’ he said gloomily, supporting my elbow. ‘Is this the best evening out you’ve ever had?’
I managed another step, wincing. ‘Well, it’s the best freezing cold family feud twisted ankle evening out I’ve ever had.’
‘That’s something, I suppose.’
He indicated a park bench, but I could see the lights of Camden in the distance and pointed to them.
‘Can you make it?’
‘Can you carry me?’
‘I could try.’
I giggled. ‘Only kidding. I’d kill you. Just let me lean on you for a bit.’
The next ten minutes were agony, but finally we collapsed in the first pub we came to. It was so good to be out of the cold and the wet, I felt better already. The pub was quiet and old-fashioned. It actually had a fire lit in the grate, and we sat beside it to dry off.
Angus got up to fetch me a whisky. I’d rather have had a glass of white wine, but I stuck to his judgement in situations like this.
Angus returned with two large glasses. ‘Thank God for civilization,’ he said.
‘Can I have some ice in mine?’
‘No, you bloody well can’t.’
‘That’s not very civilized, telling people what to do.’
We both stared into the fire for a bit.
‘What do you think will happen?’ I ventured finally. Angus heaved a sigh.
‘I wish I knew,’ he said. ‘I felt like such a bloody fool. Tell me it had to be done, Mel.’
I thought of Fraser’s face – so pained and miserable.
‘Ehm … I suppose so.’
Angus rubbed his eyes. ‘It’s the rest of his life. Every day, having to wake up next to someone who thinks he’s an idiot. Oh God, I don’t know. I just hate her so much. And, you know, I’ve only got one brother. Since Dad died … we’ve been really close. Well, I thought we were.’
‘Have you fallen out before?’
‘Not like this. Apart from the whole Star Wars figures thing. But that was a long time ago. Normally, when I speak to him about the wedding he treats it as a joke … but it’s getting so close.’
‘God, yes … it’s soon, isn’t it?’
‘Three weeks’ time. Pyrford village church. Good Protestant vicar and four hundred guests to a five-course meal.’
‘Not for me.’
‘Oh, I’m sorry …’
‘Nope, I don’t care.’
‘You may not have to. Did you see the way he was holding that tape recorder?’
‘Yes, because he was so pissed off with you.’
‘Did you think so? I thought he was pissed off with her.’
I sipped my drink.
‘Hmm,’ he said. ‘Mel, can I ask you a question?’
I hate it when someone says that. What they usually mean is: Mel, can I insult you and get away with it, having warned you in advance?
‘Uh-huh?’
‘Why did you start crying?’
‘That’s, umm, a very good question.’
‘Sorry. I don’t mean to intrude.’
‘It’s OK. I’m really sorry, actually. I got upset about things – it seemed so rotten. Why can’t everyone just be nice and end up with nice people? … That sounds pathetic.’
‘No, it doesn’t,’ he said gently. ‘Do you include yourself in “everyone”?’
‘That’s the standard definition, isn’t it? I’m sorry. About all of it.’
‘Oh, it’s my fault. Don’t worry, I’m sure we’ll recover. We are brothers, after all. Blood and stuff. I think I’ll give him a wee ring in the morning, once it’s all blown over a bit.’
Phew, at least I didn’t have to do that. I finished my whisky and suddenly felt enormously sleepy.
‘How are you going to get home?’ asked Angus.
I