The Complete A–Z of Everything Carry On. Richard Webber
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he slipped off a rostrum and fell to the floor. Gladys Goldsmith, the continuity girl, sat puce at her typewriter as he regaled her, loudly as ever, with the pain he was suffering from his sexual organs that had found contact with the rostrum on his descent and what the consequences might be. It was utter rubbish, of course.
‘There were so many funny moments that they all blur into each other and it’s difficult after all these years to remember them. One other I recall was on Teacher. Ken Connor had to walk down a corridor, enter the science class, take the stopper off a large glass jar, sniff it and make a face. It was a tracking shot with a low camera, awkward for the camera operator, Alan Hume. We put a stink bomb in the jar and on the first take Alan was shaking so much with anticipatory laughter in his hunched position that he fell off the dolly. I think all of us who saw that can still see Ken’s face as he sniffed the jar.
‘I worked on so many films that unless you keep a list, which I never did, some of them get forgotten, but the one thing you don’t forget is having worked on the Carry Ons with the crazy cast.’
BERT BATT
BAYNTUN, AMELIA
Roles: Mrs Fussey in Camping, Corset Lady in Loving, Mrs Spragg in At Your Convenience, Mrs Jenkins in Matron and Mrs Tuttle in Abroad
A busy stage actress, Amelia Bayntun, born in 1919, also occasionally appeared on the screen. On television, her credits included Dixon of Dock Green, Adamant Lives!, On the Buses and her biggest role, two series as Ada Bissel in Thames Television’s Dear Mother … Love Albert.
She died in 1988, aged sixty-eight.
BBC NEWSCASTER
Played by Tim Brinton
During Emmannuelle he’s seen on the box reporting on the numerous affairs of Emmannuelle, the French Ambassador’s sex-mad wife.
BEACH PHOTOGRAPHER
Played by Alec Bregonzi
On Brighton Pier in At Your Convenience, the Beach Photographer is earning a living taking photos of happy tourists. (Note: the scene was cut.)
WHAT MIGHT HAVE BEEN
EXT. PHOTOGRAPHIC BOOTH. DAY
It has several of those stands with cut-outs to put the face through. Start with a C.S. of Vic, with his eye to a small camera, Myrtle standing bored beside him.
VIC: Hold it!
(And now we see his shot. The stand has a garish painting of a Caveman and a Cavewoman, the latter with large bare breasts. Bernie has his face above the Cavewoman and Popsy has hers above the Caveman.)
VIC: (OVER.) Lovely!
(A click. Bernie and Popsy come out from behind the cut-out, giggling. Bernie points over.)
BERNIE: Here, get a load of them.
(They look that way. This time the painting is of a man and woman in profile, holding hands with their face-slots placed close together. The woman has ridiculously large pert breasts sticking straight out and straining her bikini top. She also has a very pert bottom in a pair of tight red shorts. The man is ridiculously skinny and dressed in a bright blue striped blazer with a pair of shorts down to his knees. A man and a woman have their faces through the holes, and are smiling at the photographer.)
PHOTOGRAPHER: Thank you.
(The man and the woman come out from behind the screens and the joke is that they are dressed like and have exactly the same figures as the cartoon painting. Bernie, Vic and Popsy roar with laughter and even Myrtle has to smile.)
BEALE, JACK
The script for Nurse was based on an idea supplied by Jack Beale and Patrick Cargill, stemming from their stage play, Ring for Catty.
BEAMISH, LEONARD
Played by Ian Curry
Mr Beamish phones Togetherness Marriage Agency in Regardless. He wants a wife in time for a tea party he’s giving his aunt in two weeks so asks the agency for help. But a mix-up finds Delia King arriving at his doorstep, believing she’s been hired to do some housekeeping.
BEAN, MICHAEL
Played by Charles Hawtrey
The French and music teacher at Maudlin Street Secondary Modern School, Mr Bean is seen in Teacher. His other duties include organising and conducting the school orchestra, as well as writing the mournful tunes heard at the school’s annual play.
BEAN, MR
Played by Donald Bisset
A patient at the Long Hampton Hospital, Mr Bean, who’s hospitalised with a kidney stone, is seen in Again Doctor, talking to Dr Carver about his condition.
BEAR CREEK
When Big Heap announces inside Rumpo’s Place that there has been a gold strike at Bear Creek, the hostelry clears within seconds, which is just what the Indian wanted because he aims to pinch some liquor without being shot. It’s not long, though, before the would-be gold diggers realise there isn’t such a place as Bear Creek and head back to the bar. The fictitious place is mentioned in Cowboy.
BEAR PASS
The pass is mentioned in Cowboy and is situated near Stodge City and Sam Houston’s ranch.
BEARDED MAN IN AUDIENCE
Played by Ron Tarr
Seen in Girls this uncredited character is spotted laughing uncontrollably while watching the beauty contest fiasco.
BEASLEY, MRS
Played by Patricia Hayes
In Again Doctor this chatty, loud-speaking woman sees Dr Nookey in the outpatients department about constant ringing in her ears. Mrs Beasley, who’s a hypochondriac, is a regular at the hospital.
BEATIFIC ISLANDS
Sounds like a tropical paradise but far from it, as Dr Nookey and Dr Carver find out in Again Doctor. These far-flung islands are battered by hurricanes for three months of the year and drenched by rain for the remaining nine. Locals call their islands, ‘All rain and wind’. The rich widow, Ellen Moore, established a medical mission there in memory of her husband, who was cared for by the islanders.
BEAUMONT, SUSAN
Role: Frances James in Nurse
Born in London in 1936, Susan Beaumont, daughter of musical comedy actress Roma Beaumont and theatre producer Alfred Black, enrolled at RADA but left after just one term. She soon found employment in pantomime before going on to dance in a Norman Wisdom show at the London Palladium and in a Limelight show on television.
Upon being offered a Rank contract, aged nineteen, she became a leading lady in the 1950s, appearing in a clutch of films, such as Man of the Moment, Simon and Laura, Jumping for Joy, On the Run, No Safety Ahead, Innocent Sinners and The Man Who Liked Funerals.
BECK, JAMES
Role: Mr Roxby in Loving (Note: the scene was cut.)
Born in Islington, London, in 1929, James Beck – who’ll forever be remembered for playing the spiv, Private Walker, in Dad’s Army – graduated from art school and worked as a commercial artist until being called up for National Service.
Upon leaving military life, he pursued a career in the theatre, beginning as a student actor on one pound a week with a small repertory company in Ramsgate. Stints at various reps followed before he moved to London