Managing Anger: Simple Steps to Dealing with Frustration and Threat. Gael Lindenfield
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techniques, but at least, with the anger acknowledged, there seems to be more energy and motivation with which to tame or eradicate them.
Although I would not claim that repressed anger is at the root cause of all these kinds of symptoms, I have certainly seen enough evidence with my own eyes to convince me that anyone who finds themselves locked in a compulsion should at least ask themselves the question: ‘What feelings might I be trying to control?’ And I would be very surprised if anger did not feature regularly amongst the replies.
ANGER CAN FUEL MANIC TENDENCIES
Anyone who has worked in a mental hospital and has laughed along at the hilarious antics and stories of a ‘high’ patient knows how just suddenly a word or look can turn this comic manic activity into uncontrollable and frightening fury. Mismanaged anger may not always directly cause manic states and illnesses, but I certainly think it can act as a trigger and inhibit recovery.
To understand how this can happen, just think of a time when you have been very angry but unable to express it. Quite probably, you may have found yourself rushing blindly around the house or office in a state of ‘furious’ activity. You might have found jobs for yourself and others to do that you have hardly noticed before. Your mind might have been racing from one thing to another as you gabbled away about cupboards that needed cleaning, minutes that needed writing, phone calls that must be made, holidays that still hadn’t been arranged, and so on. After a while your frustration and fury hopefully dissipated and your life resumed its normal pace.
But just imagine having such a well of pent-up rage that no amount of activity seems to shift it. Your body won’t stay still and your mind continues racing, so you may try to laugh and clown it away. The moment you meet any frustration or problem, you quickly switch into another activity or train of thought. You start jobs and conversations but rarely finish them, you are getting little sense of satisfaction, your frustration builds and, in desperation, you get even speedier. Eventually you, or the people around you, reach breaking point. If you reach breaking point first, you’re in a state of depression; if it is the others who can’t cope, your condition could be labelled manic and you could be deemed in need of the care and control of a psychiatric institution.
Mercifully, very few people reach this terrible state, but don’t too many of us still waste much energy and time by displacing lesser amounts of anger and frustration with chaotic, unfocused and unconstructive activity?
ANGER CAN FUEL PARANOIA, PREJUDICE AND HOSTILE ATTITUDES
Anger can also fan the flames of paranoia and prejudice, even in very ordinary everyday situations. I will illustrate how this can happen with this salutary ‘Jack and Jill’ tale. (Note that I have placed the ‘offending’ thoughts in brackets and in italics.)
Jack, a British businessman, is having a terrible day at work. It started when he learned that the new office cleaners had accidentally spilled coffee over some important papers, and then one of the young secretaries forgot to type a report. Jack bears the news of both with silent resignation. (No one around here cares about their work anymore.) In the afternoon he is given the news that Angela, his younger female colleague with the MBA he’s never managed to get, has been offered the promotion which he had been promised last year. He feels frustrated and angry; but his stiff upper lip keeps his feelings well-hidden. (They’re probably all watching me to see how I react. I’m not going to give them the satisfaction of showing them anything.)
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