The Silent Cry: Part 2 of 3: There is little Kim can do as her mother's mental health spirals out of control. Cathy Glass
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first impression was that Laura did indeed look well and completely normal.
Chapter Eleven
‘I’m gasping for a coffee. Would you like one?’ Laura asked me, lightly running her hand through her hair.
‘Yes, please, if you’re making one.’
‘I’ll do it,’ Geraldine said. ‘And I’ll check on Liam.’
With her cloak of efficiency firmly back in place, Geraldine walked swiftly from the room. Laura sighed and sank into one of the armchairs. ‘She won’t let me do a thing, it’s so frustrating. And she fusses over Liam constantly. She’s even got him sleeping downstairs with her now.’
‘I think she’s just trying to help,’ I said awkwardly.
We heard Geraldine go into the front room to check on Liam and then into the kitchen.
‘Fran sends her best wishes,’ I said. ‘She said to phone her when you have a chance.’
‘Yes, I must phone her. I keep meaning to. But you know how the time flies when you have a baby. The days just seem to disappear. I’ll put it at the top of my to-do list,’ she added with a smile.
I smiled too and we were silent for some moments, both gazing at Paula who was playing with one of Liam’s soft toys. It was difficult to know what to say. I didn’t want to make things worse by saying the wrong thing, but I was amazed at how well she looked – not at all what I’d expected after what Geraldine had just told me. Her cheeks had colour and there was no sign of her previous anxiety or depression. She seemed relaxed and, apart from being irritated by Geraldine, happy.
‘It’s a lovely day outside,’ I said, glancing towards the garden.
‘Yes. I was thinking I might collect Kim this afternoon and take Liam, if she lets me.’
‘Good idea,’ I said, ignoring her jibe at Geraldine. I felt uncomfortable; I’d just been sympathizing with Geraldine and now I was being asked to take Laura’s side against her. Yet Laura’s resentment at having her mother-in-law make her decisions was understandable, as she appeared rational and capable of making her own decisions.
‘See how you feel later,’ I suggested. ‘I can bring Kim home if it helps.’
‘You can help me by removing the mother-in-law from hell from my house,’ Laura said with a sigh, unable to resist another dig. ‘She’s outstayed her welcome. Do you know, I’m not even allowed to make myself tea and toast when I feel like it? I fancied some last night. Then the next minute she’s in the kitchen saying I’m going to burn the house down. Just because I overcooked the toast! I mean, Cathy, tell me who hasn’t burned toast? Then she wonders why I snap at her. I get hungry breastfeeding.’
‘Yes, I did too,’ I said. ‘It’s important to eat and drink regularly when breastfeeding.’
‘She likes to give him a bottle of formula at night,’ she said, and glanced at the wall clock. ‘He’ll be awake soon for his ten o’clock feed. You don’t mind if I bring him in here to feed him, do you?’
‘No, of course not.’
‘She does,’ Laura said, again lambasting her mother-in-law. ‘She doesn’t think it’s proper to breastfeed in front of others, especially at the meal table. She told me she fed all of hers in the privacy of her bedroom. Well, good for her, I say. Times have changed. I’ll see if he is awake.’
Laura stood and began towards the living-room door as Geraldine came in carrying a tray of coffee and biscuits.
‘Where are you going?’ she asked Laura.
‘To see if Liam’s awake for his feed,’ Laura replied with attitude. ‘Is that OK?’
I felt embarrassed. Keeping her eyes down, Geraldine hurriedly set the tray on the occasional table and went down the hall after Laura. I heard their hushed voices coming from the front room in what sounded like a sharp exchange, and then a few moments later Laura returned carrying Liam in her arms. She raised her eyes in exasperation, which I pretended not to see, and she returned to her armchair.
‘Baby,’ Paula said, pointing.
‘Yes. He’s going to have his breakfast,’ I explained.
‘The second one today,’ Laura said with a smile, putting him to her breast.
I watched Paula’s face. It was a picture. As Laura fed Liam I sipped my coffee and we talked. Paula took a few steps closer to her for a better look. Laura didn’t mind. I saw the love that was in Laura’s eyes as she gazed at her son suckling contentedly. It was impossible to imagine what Geraldine had told me. Far from being wary of him as the devil’s child, Laura held him close, protectively. I’m sure she would have died for him rather than let any harm come to him, as most mothers would. Her tenderness and compassion were obvious, but why would Geraldine have made all that up?
When Liam finished suckling on one side Laura gently turned him round to finish feeding on the other side, all the time smiling down at him, full of love and kindness. Once he’d finished she winded him and then drank her now-lukewarm coffee. We continued talking, about babies, the school and fostering, which so many people are interested in and ask questions about, then I said I should be going, as I had things to do.
‘Thanks for stopping by,’ Laura said. ‘Can you see yourself out?’ Liam was fast asleep in her arms.
‘Yes, of course. Take care, and I hope to see you in the playground this afternoon.’
‘Yes.’ Paula clambered down from the sofa and we quietly left the room so we wouldn’t wake Liam. As we approached the front door Geraldine suddenly appeared from the front room. I had the feeling she’d been waiting there for me to leave.
‘If I’m not in the playground this afternoon, can you bring Kim home, please?’ she said quietly.
‘Yes, but Laura seems fine now,’ I said. ‘She’s talking about collecting Kim herself, and taking Liam.’
‘We’ll see about that,’ Geraldine said stiffly, all vulnerability gone. ‘She may seem fine now, but her moods can change very quickly. It will ease my mind to know that you will collect Kim if I’m not there.’
‘Yes, of course,’ I said. Although it seemed she’d already ruled out any possibility of Laura collecting Kim.
‘Thank you,’ Geraldine said flatly as she opened the front door.
I helped Paula out and over the step and the door closed behind us.
With Paula holding one hand, I pushed the stroller with the other and we walked slowly down the garden path and then along the street towards home. I was perplexed, worried and bemused by what had taken place and began to wonder if Geraldine was the one with issues, for I’d seen no evidence of the paranoia she’d described in Laura. Indeed, Laura had acted perfectly rationally, had talked in positive terms and seemed well balanced and the picture of health. True, she resented her mother-in-law big time, but who could blame her if she was trying to control and dominate her? But then again, why would anyone in their right mind make up such dreadful stories about their daughter-in-law? I didn’t know who or what to believe.
Once I’d settled Paula for her nap I took out my books, but I didn’t get very far with my research or writing. My thoughts kept returning to number 53 and the awful atmosphere that must pervade there, especially when Laura and her mother-in-law were there alone. Did they try to talk civilly to each other, or did they continuously argue or avoid each other by occupying different rooms? What a dreadful atmosphere for Kim to come home to, though perhaps they made an effort when she was there. I wondered what Andy, Laura’s husband and Geraldine’s son, made of it all. He must have felt as though he was caught between a rock and a hard place,