Trust Works: Four Keys to Building Lasting Relationships. Ken Blanchard
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is more important than your talk. As Cindy pointed out in her introduction, this is where the tricky part comes in, because:
Trust is in the eye of the beholder.
What does that mean? It means that you can be completely unaware that your behavior is eroding the trust of those around you. What looks like fine behavior to you could make your friend, spouse, boss, employee, or constituent downright wary.
Because we see trust behaviors through our own filters, we need to have a common language for trust so we can talk together about what it is and what it isn’t. We have created the ABCD Trust Model™ to give you a way to begin having conversations about trust, not only in the business arena, but also in your personal life.
Ever since I wrote The One Minute Manager with Spencer Johnson and helped him in his writing of Who Moved My Cheese?, I have found that writing parables is the best way for me to live one of my missions in life, which is to be “a loving teacher and example of simple truths who helps myself and others to live more effective lives.” That’s why the first part of this book is a parable about how the lack of trust between a cat and a dog threatens the tranquillity of an animal-friendly family.
A story about a cat and a dog—is this meant to be a children’s book? No. While you can share the parable with your kids to start a dialogue about trust, the story is intended for adults. In fact, we hope you’ll see a bit of yourself—and some humans you know—in the story of Woof and Whiskers.
After reading the parable, you’ll be ready to review the trust-building resources in Part II. Here’s where you’ll learn to assess your strengths and weaknesses in the area of trust. You’ll find out about Trust Boosters and Trust Busters. You’ll also see how the ABCD Trust Model™ applies to real-life situations and learn the challenging art of beginning conversations about trust issues. Finally, you’ll discover the steps to rebuilding trust that’s been damaged.
We hope you’ll find the story a fun way to learn about trust. So lighten up, get in touch with your inner child, and enjoy A Tale of Trust.
Once upon a time in the country home of Mr. and Mrs. Berryhill, there lived a cat named Whiskers and a dog named Woof. The two did not get along.
They had their reasons.
Woof’s goofy personality and sloppy personal hygiene annoyed the cat.
Whiskers’s snooty attitude and finicky habits alienated the dog.
Some time ago Woof got so excited he chased Whiskers up a tree. She’d never forgiven him.
A couple of times Whiskers’s sharp little claws had come out. Ever since, Woof had avoided her.
Plus, it was common knowledge that cats and dogs did not get along. Both Whiskers and Woof had heard from their mothers and fathers all the horror stories of the generations-old enmity between cats and dogs.
One day Woof made the terrible mistake of accidentally stepping on Whiskers’s tail. Whiskers lashed out, swiping the dog across the face. Stinging with pain, Woof snarled and snapped at the cat, who leaped toward the dining room table to escape. She didn’t quite make it. Her claws sank into the tablecloth, and as she fell back, she pulled the entire table full of dishes—just set for dinner—onto the floor, where they broke with a loud crash.
That’s when Mrs. Berryhill came running into the room, her toddler in her arms.
“Oh, no. What a mess!” she cried.
The toddler, Billy, began to wail—a horrible, earsplitting sound.
Next, seven-year-old Kylie dashed in. “What happened?” she cried.
Finally, Mr. Berryhill burst into the room, his face red with anger.
“That’s it!” he yelled as Woof and Whiskers scurried out of the room. “If you two don’t learn to get along, I’m going to get rid of you. All of you!”
When Mr. Berryhill said “all of you” he was referring to the three other animals that lived in the house: a parrot named Presley, a hamster named Harriet, and a goldfish named Wiggles. Mr. Berryhill’s voice boomed, so every animal in the house heard him loud and clear. It was also evident from Mr. Berryhill’s tone that this was no idle threat. He’d been annoyed by the chaos created by Woof and Whiskers for quite some time. Mr. Berryhill seemed to have reached his breaking point.
Kylie’s eyes filled with tears. “No, Daddy! Please don’t get rid of our animals!”
Mr. Berryhill squatted down and looked his little girl in the eye. “I don’t want to get rid of them, honey, but we have to trust these animals to behave if they’re going to live in our house. If they’re going to fight and break our dishes, they’ve got to go.”
“But, Daddy—” Kylie began.
“Daddy’s right,” said Mrs. Berryhill. “If the animals are going to be part of our family, we have to be able to depend on them.”
“If they behave, can we keep them?” Kylie asked tearfully.
“Yes, but only if they stop fighting,” said Mr. Berryhill.
The parrot, who was old and wise, gravely shook his head. To human ears, Presley merely began squawking. But to every animal in the house, his announcement was clear:
“All animals, meet in the living room tonight at the stroke of midnight. Your presence is mandatory. This is an emergency!”
That night as they were getting ready for bed, Mrs. Berryhill had a heart-to-heart with her husband.
“Honey, the dog and cat did make an unfortunate mess tonight. But your reaction seemed a little over the top. Is there something going on that I should know about?”
Mr. Berryhill sat down with a sigh. “Things aren’t going as well at work as I had hoped. I had a meeting with my boss today and he said he wasn’t sure if I was in the right position.”
“What did he mean by that?”
“He said he was disappointed that I didn’t seem to have the skills to get things done on my own. Said he didn’t have time to do his job and mine.”
“That must have really bothered you,” Mrs. Berryhill said.
“No kidding,” he replied. “My position has a lot of new responsibilities, and I’ve been working my tail off. It annoys me that he expects me to be up to speed overnight. I wish he’d spend a little time helping me identify people who can coach me if he doesn’t have the time.”
“Can you talk to him about that?” asked Mrs. Berryhill.
Mr. Berryhill shook his head. “It won’t be easy. He says his door is always open, but to get a meeting with him is a major project in itself.”
“Sounds like you and your boss have trust issues. Just like we have with our cat and dog,” she added with a smile.
“Yeah, stress at work, chaos at home. I’m between a rock and a hard place!” he said with a laugh. “Thanks for listening, honey. I certainly need this weekend to decompress.”
That night the animals gathered at midnight as planned. Sitting high on his perch, Presley began the proceedings.
“The status quo cannot continue,” the parrot said. “There must be peace and harmony among all of us, or there will