Before We Say Goodbye: Preparing for a Good Death. Ray Simpson
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SIGMUND FREUD
Prepare for your death.
ST COLUMBA
When we are dead, and people weep for us and grieve, let it be because we touched their lives with beauty and simplicity.
JACOB P. RUDIN
Is there not a certain satisfaction in the fact that natural limits are set to the life of the individual, so that at the conclusion it may appear as a work of art?
ALBERT EINSTEIN
In this world nothing can be said to be certain, except death and taxes.
BENJAMIN FRANKLIN
Dying is like being stuck in a traffic jam.
There is a crown for those who endure.
ANON
Blessed be God for our sister, the death of the body.
ST FRANCIS OF ASSISI
Death is the great adventure beside which moon landings and space trips pale into insignificance.
JOSEPH BAYLY
*
Mortal loss is an Immortal gain.
The ruins of time builds Mansions in Eternity.
WILLIAM BLAKE
* * *
BEFRIEND DEATH WHEN YOU ARE YOUNG
What’s brave, what’s noble,Let’s do it after the high Roman fashion,And make death proud to take us.
WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE,
Antony and Cleopatra, ACT IV, SCENE 16
THERE’S A TIME TO GIVE AND A TIME TO GO
For everything there is a season,and a time for every matter under heaven:a time to be born, and a time to die;a time to plant, and a time to pluck up…a time to seek, and a time to lose.
ECCLESIASTES 3:1,2,6 NRSV
The advice that most shaped me as a young man was this: Do not waste your life on empty pleasures or burn out prematurely for some great idea; let your life be like a candle, which gives of itself consistently until, when it has given all it has, it flickers out.
I want to give the best that I have at every stage of life. In order to give my best, I must also learn to receive from others at every level of my being. When I have given all that I have to give, and received all that I have to receive, I will flicker out in a glow of fulfilment.
Of course, none of us will achieve this 100 per cent, but it is good to aim for it. We will learn through trial and error. Life affords us opportunities to learn from our mistakes and, whatever our failings, to increase our levels of giving and receiving.
If we live like this, dying can feel like fulfilment rather than theft.
THE SECRET OF LIFE IS THE SECRET OF DEATH
To live and die well – this is surely the supreme aim. I used to think that I might do one, or neither, but certainly not both. Now I know that the secret of one is also the secret of the other.
A professional rugby player told me that the secret of being a successful player is to go all out, to keep your eye on the ball, and not to hold back through fear of injury or failure.
Some people go all out in life, but they mess it up because they do not keep their eye on the ball – they lose sight of the end of life. Others hold back because they fear they will get hurt or fail.
I used to hold back because I feared I might lose my security or status. A counsellor advised me to visualize the worst scenario that could happen to me. I did so. Then he challenged me to face that worst scenario. I did so. Having faced it, I became willing to go through with it. Even though the worst scenario did not occur, facing it set me free to live fully in any scenario.
It is like that with life. Death stalks us as an unconscious paralyser, even when we are young. If we face this worst scenario of death now, it frees us to live at our maximum throughout our lives.
If we live fully, we shall die fulfilled.
If we are champions in life, we shall be champions in death.
DEATH PUTS LIFE IN PERSPECTIVE
You may think you can get away with anything, that nothing can touch you, not even death. This ability to get away with things may seem to be your pride and glory.
The truth is, you will have to submit to death as surely as seed, once it is fully grown as wheat, is cut down and ground into flour. ECHOING ISAIAH 28
The prophet Isaiah believed God was speaking along these lines to ‘successful’ people who never gave a thought to anything or anyone else.
It is better to sow seeds of wheat rather than wild oats now, so that these will bring a good harvest in the future. Only so will the harvest of our lives be a good experience.
What you sow, you reap. What you give out, you receive back.
Living our life in the light of eternity gives us perspective. It sorts out our priorities.
WHEN FACED, DEATH BUILDS VALOUR
A parent whose baby died said this: ‘Our baby’s death made me realize how thin and fragile are the surface things of life which we rely upon. Our baby’s death made me less tolerant of arrogance. It made me value respect.’
A daring hit-and-run robber named Moses, who had killed people in pursuit of his crimes, reformed his life and lived as a hermit in the desert. He became a soul friend to young people, who joined him in the desert.
One day his desert brothers learned that an armed band was on its way to loot their dwellings and leave them for dead. They urged that everyone should make a quick escape.
‘I’ll stay here,’ Moses said. ‘I have waited so long for this day. My death will be a fitting reminder of Jesus’ saying, “Those who use the sword shall die by the sword.”’
In fact, the murderers arrived before any of them could escape. Seven brothers were killed.
There was one brother, however, who was not in the hut with them. He hid under some palm fronds and observed how they died. He saw seven crowns, each one coming to rest on the head of a brother.
Olympic athletes who know that a medal awaits the winner go all out. To know that there is a crown stirs us to valour – to good deeds, heroic acts, unstinting service, and to the noble bearing of suffering.
Deep