The English Housekeeper: Or, Manual of Domestic Management. Anne Cobbett
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the hardest portion which accompanies reverses of fortune, is, the change which they sometimes produce in the behaviour of acquaintances. When we are become poorer than we were, and have lost the ability to entertain guests in the accustomed manner, it is painful to perceive some of those very people who have been the most hospitably entertained, and who, in our prosperity, have appeared the most attached to us, turn from us and our difficulties, while they banish from their minds the recollection of past kindness. To meet with indifference in those whose smiles have courted ours; to feel that we have thrown away sincere friendship upon mere heartlessness, is hard to be endured, even by the faultless, but how intolerable must it be, when aggravated by the consciousness that we have incurred it by our own misconduct. To the experienced, this is one of the severest vicissitudes of life; what, then, must it be to us, before we have acquired that equanimity of mind, which falls only to the lot of those who have passed through the ordeal of the world, and who have been amply compensated for the desertion of the many, by the sincerity, the warmth of heart, and the steadfastness of the few.
Houses and furniture properly belong to the extraordinary expenses of the household. When a young woman is called upon to exercise her judgment in the choice of a house, she must pause before she rejects one which, though she may consider it rather too small, might, nevertheless, be made to accommodate the family well enough, and might be fitted up at a less cost than a larger one. Such a house would require fewer servants, and would certainly present a better appearance, than one that is rather too large for the quantity, or for the style of its furniture, and is, perhaps, larger than is actually required for the number of its inhabitants. It is easier to remove from a small to a large house, when circumstances require it, than it is to remove from a large to a small one. It is so easy to increase our wants, and so difficult to reduce them, that young persons should begin the world with caution, and not multiply their wants, lest, in time, they lack the means of gratifying them.
In fitting up a house, the young housekeeper, who sets out with a determination to choose furniture suitable to her circumstances and station in life, will be content with that which is just good enough, rather than be induced to exceed her previous good intentions, and gratify her fancy at the expense of her comforts. She must never yield to the seductive reflection, that "only five pounds more cannot make much difference;" for, the same argument may be equally applied to the sofa, the tables, the carpet, the curtains, the grate, the fire-irons and fender; all of which are necessary to furnish a dining room; to say nothing of the lamps, the mirrors, and other articles of ornament, which fashion in some cases makes of absolute necessity. If "only five pounds" be given for some of these, and two, or even one pound, for others, more than is necessary, she will find that the "difference" is very great by the time that she has fitted up only one room.
The rage for vying with our superiors shows itself in the bad taste which encumbers houses with unsuitable furniture. Massive sideboards, and unwieldy chairs, occupy too much space in a small room, while draperies not only obscure the light, but have an inelegant appearance, unless the room be large and lofty, or in keeping with the size and weight of cornices, cords, tassels, and other ornaments, which give offence to the eye when too gorgeous or prominent. Of equal bad taste, is the habit of occasionally changing furniture, to suit the varying of fashions; which is so much the practice that even persons in trade, having families to provide for, change furniture, sufficiently good to serve its purpose for a lifetime, for other no handsomer, but a little more fashionable.
It is strange that persons pretending to gentility should not rather imitate the higher class of their superiors, who value their high-backed chairs the more because they are old, and would on no account exchange them for modern finery. When expensive furniture is introduced into the houses of persons of small fortune, the long upholsterer's bill rises like a phantom before the misplaced couches, ottomans, and ottoman sofas, crowded into small drawing rooms; and my feelings of regret become almost feelings of indignation on seeing plate, which belonged to fathers and mothers, or to grandfathers and grandmothers, and spoons which have touched those lips which spoke tenderness to our infancy, about to be bartered for the "Prince's," the "King's," or the "fiddle pattern," or for some other pattern that may happen to offer the newest temptation to vulgar taste.
Every young woman who has the good taste to wish that her house may be characterised by its simplicity, and be more remarkable for comfort than for show, will, if she wish to spare herself and her family much discomfort, avoid having show-rooms; such rooms, I mean, as are considered too fine to be habitually occupied by the family, and are, therefore, kept shut up; except when, on particular occasions, and perhaps only a few times in the year, a fire is lighted for the reception of company. Upon such occasions, children are seen to look about them as if they had never beheld the place before; the master of the house fidgets from one seat to another, as if he were anywhere but at home; and it is probable, that before the entertainment is over, the mistress of the house is heard to remark, that she is "never so comfortable as in the room she is accustomed to;" by which her friends discover that their visit has put her out of the way. True hospitality conceals from guests any trouble which their presence may unavoidably occasion; but in the luxurious taste of the times, there is little real hospitality left: friendly intercourse seems lost in ostentatious display, and in our vain attempts to equal, if not to outshine, each other. Most persons acknowledge this to be the case, and lament that it is so; yet few have the courage to pursue a different system.
There is no species of decoration which produces so much effect in ornamenting a house as flowers. The artificial productions of the painter and the upholsterer, the gilded ceilings, glittering mirrors, and couches of brocade, are more splendid and durable, and are worthy of admiration for their individual beauty and the ingenuity and industry which has produced them, but they have not the lively, gay, and varied attractions of flowers. Vases, whether gaudy or elegant, excite interest only as mere objects of curiosity, unless filled with flowers.
To point to any particular department of the household, as demanding the greatest share of attention, would tend rather to mislead than instruct; for a due proportion ought to be bestowed upon every department; where the mistress of the house is over particular on any one point, other matters, of equal importance, may be neglected.
Perfect and uniform neatness is indispensable, not only for comfort, but appearance. By uniform neatness, I mean, that nothing which presents itself, whether about the house, in the dress of mistress, children, or servants, should be left open to unfavourable remark. A young lady who relaxes in attention to her own dress, merely because she has more important cares after, than she had before her marriage, does wrong; but she whose studied attire forms a contrast to the little soiled fingers which are forbidden to approach it; she who strikes the beholder as having bestowed care on herself, while her children bear the appearance of neglect, does infinitely worse. To preserve the neatness of a house, there must be regular attention on the part of the mistress. I am a great enemy to the system of periodical scrubbings and general house-cleanings, which prevails to so great an extent, and especially in the country, where, when the appointed day comes round, carpets are taken up, and floors, even though they be delicately clean, are washed, whether the weather be suitable or otherwise, the health of the family being left to take its chance. The day of general house-cleaning is no other than a day of commotion and discomfort. One attendant evil is, the make-up dinner, which does not, perhaps, content all the family; and it is a singular piece of good fortune if friends do not select that very day for paying you a visit. It is certainly a more simple process to clean a house, than it is to keep a house clean; for mere labour is required for the one, while method is necessary for the other. But this method every young housekeeper should endeavour to acquire. Sweeping, dusting, and polishing, should proceed daily. Carpets should be swept every day with a hair broom; but only once a week with a carpet broom, because it wears them: and damp tea leaves should always be used, whether in sweeping carpets or boards, as they lay the dust, which would otherwise fly over the furniture, and again settle on the floor. Bed room carpets should be in different pieces, not nailed to the floor, for the convenience of shaking, which may then be done once in a week. Bed rooms should be swept every day, and a damp mop passed under the beds, chests of drawers, &c., &c., which will remove all the flue and dust, and prevent accumulation of dirt, so that the washing of boards will not be so often required during the winter. In summer, indeed, frequent washings refreshen the