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and carried off the daughter of a peasant, who had been seen to enter it with a bundle of clothing. The son of a wealthy bourgeois disappeared about the same time, but afterward returned. He had seen the abduction and been in pursuit of the fairies. Justinian Gaux, a writer of the fourteenth century, avers that so great is the fairies' power of transformation that he saw one change itself into two opposing armies and fight a battle with great slaughter, and that the next day, after it had resumed its original shape and gone away, there were seven hundred bodies of the slain which the villagers had to bury. He does not say if any of the wounded recovered. In the time of Henry III, of England, a law was made which prescribed the death penalty for "Kyllynge, wowndynge, or mamynge" a fairy, and it was universally respected.

      FAITH, n. Belief without evidence in what is told by one who speaks without knowledge, of things without parallel.

      FAMOUS, adj. Conspicuously miserable.

      Done to a turn on the iron, behold

      Him who to be famous aspired.

      Content? Well, his grill has a plating of gold,

      And his twistings are greatly admired.

      Hassan Brubuddy

      FASHION, n. A despot whom the wise ridicule and obey.

      A king there was who lost an eye

      In some excess of passion;

      And straight his courtiers all did try

      To follow the new fashion.

      Each dropped one eyelid when before

      The throne he ventured, thinking

      'Twould please the king. That monarch swore

      He'd slay them all for winking.

      What should they do? They were not hot

      To hazard such disaster;

      They dared not close an eye—dared not

      See better than their master.

      Seeing them lacrymose and glum,

      A leech consoled the weepers:

      He spread small rags with liquid gum

      And covered half their peepers.

      The court all wore the stuff, the flame

      Of royal anger dying.

      That's how court-plaster got its name

      Unless I'm greatly lying.

      Naramy Oof

      FEAST, n. A festival. A religious celebration usually signalized by gluttony and drunkenness, frequently in honor of some holy person distinguished for abstemiousness. In the Roman Catholic Church feasts are "movable" and "immovable," but the celebrants are uniformly immovable until they are full. In their earliest development these entertainments took the form of feasts for the dead; such were held by the Greeks, under the name Nemeseia, by the Aztecs and Peruvians, as in modern times they are popular with the Chinese; though it is believed that the ancient dead, like the modern, were light eaters. Among the many feasts of the Romans was the Novemdiale, which was held, according to Livy, whenever stones fell from heaven.

      FELON, n. A person of greater enterprise than discretion, who in embracing an opportunity has formed an unfortunate attachment.

      FEMALE, n. One of the opposing, or unfair, sex.

      The Maker, at Creation's birth,

      With living things had stocked the earth.

      From elephants to bats and snails,

      They all were good, for all were males.

      But when the Devil came and saw

      He said: "By Thine eternal law

      Of growth, maturity, decay,

      These all must quickly pass away

      And leave untenanted the earth

      Unless Thou dost establish birth"—

      Then tucked his head beneath his wing

      To laugh—he had no sleeve—the thing

      With deviltry did so accord,

      That he'd suggested to the Lord.

      The Master pondered this advice,

      Then shook and threw the fateful dice

      Wherewith all matters here below

      Are ordered, and observed the throw;

      Then bent His head in awful state,

      Confirming the decree of Fate.

      From every part of earth anew

      The conscious dust consenting flew,

      While rivers from their courses rolled

      To make it plastic for the mould.

      Enough collected (but no more,

      For niggard Nature hoards her store)

      He kneaded it to flexible clay,

      While Nick unseen threw some away.

      And then the various forms He cast,

      Gross organs first and finer last;

      No one at once evolved, but all

      By even touches grew and small

      Degrees advanced, till, shade by shade,

      To match all living things He'd made

      Females, complete in all their parts

      Except (His clay gave out) the hearts.

      "No matter," Satan cried; "with speed

      I'll fetch the very hearts they need"—

      So flew away and soon brought back

      The number needed, in a sack.

      That night earth rang with sounds of strife—

      Ten million males each had a wife;

      That night sweet Peace her pinions spread

      O'er Hell—ten million devils dead!

      G.J.

      FIB, n. A lie that has not cut its teeth. An habitual liar's nearest approach to truth: the perigee of his eccentric orbit.

      When David said: "All men are liars," Dave,

      Himself a liar, fibbed like any thief.

      Perhaps he thought to weaken disbelief

      By proof that even himself was not a slave

      To Truth; though I suspect the aged knave

      Had been of all her servitors the chief

      Had he but known a fig's reluctant leaf

      Is more than e'er she wore on land or wave.

      No, David served not Naked Truth when he

      Struck that sledge-hammer blow at all his race;

      Nor did he hit the nail upon the head:

      For reason shows that it could never be,

      And the facts contradict him to his face.

      Men are not liars all, for some are dead.

      Bartle Quinker

      FICKLENESS, n. The iterated satiety of an enterprising affection.

      FIDDLE, n. An instrument to tickle human ears by friction of a horse's tail on the entrails of a cat.

      To Rome said Nero: "If to smoke you turn

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