The Secret To Happiness. Jessica Redland
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beautiful,’ Danniella said. ‘Thank you. Have you got time for a coffee?’
‘Only if you’re having one.’
‘I was just about to.’ Danniella indicated for Lorraine to follow her into the kitchen. She put the kettle on to boil and rested the flowers in the sink, making a mental note to add a vase to her ever-growing shopping list.
‘It’s a lovely flat,’ Danniella said as she placed a milky coffee in front of Lorraine and sat down opposite her at the kitchen table. ‘I’m so grateful to Aidan.’
‘Did he tell you it was his wife’s?’
‘Yes. He told me she died.’ Danniella sipped her drink, part of her wanting to know more. Had Aidan been in the car at the time? Had it been his fault? How was he coping? Did the pain ever go away? But she was equally afraid to explore that avenue in case the conversation steered round to her own past. That was the problem with conversations; they were meant to be two-way.
‘She was such a wonderful girl, was Elizabeth,’ Lorraine said. ‘He met her on one of those internet dating sites and they’d only been seeing each other for a couple of months when she found out she had leukaemia. Once the doctors confirmed it was an aggressive form and terminal, she tried to push Aidan away. She told him to meet someone new, but he was having none of it. He’s such a caring lad is my Aidan, always has been. He made it his mission to make her remaining time as happy as it could be. He told you he’s a travel writer, yes?’
Danniella nodded.
‘He stopped the overseas assignments,’ Lorraine continued, ‘rented out his flat and hired a campervan. They travelled round the UK seeing all the places she dreamed of seeing. Aidan wanted to take her abroad but Elizabeth said there were too many places and not enough time. She wanted to die knowing she’d explored every part of her home country instead of barely scratching the surface of the world. When the travel became too much for her, they came back here to prepare for the end. Elizabeth had only one regret: that she’d never been able to get married and have children. He couldn’t do anything about the kids but, God bless my boy, he arranged a wedding for her. He said he was taking her on one last weekend away and he drove her to Sherrington Hall where all her friends and family were waiting to give her the wedding of her dreams.’
Lorraine produced a handkerchief from the pocket on her cardigan and dabbed her eyes. ‘It was such a beautiful day. She only had a couple of weeks left at that point. They were on their way back here the following day when a young lass failed to stop at a crossroads and ploughed straight into the passenger side. They say Elizabeth died instantly and sometimes I wonder if that was kinder than another two weeks of her body failing her.’
‘So Aidan was driving?’
‘Yes, my dear, but there was nothing he could have done. There was nothing any of us could have done. Of course, at the time, I kept thinking that if only I’d given her one more hug that morning, it wouldn’t have happened, but Aidan said we couldn’t think like that or it would drive us crazy. If he’d been driving faster or slower, if he’d been longer in the shower, if she’d not had a second cup of tea, if the council had cut the hedge back so the stop sign was more visible… any one of a million things could have brought a different outcome but, at the end of the day, Elizabeth had a terminal illness and she died having had the most incredible day of her life. We all had to focus on that and stop trying to find someone or something to blame.’
Lorraine made it sound so easy: no guilt, no blame, just one of those things. But it wasn’t, was it? It was always someone’s fault.
‘Was Aidan hurt?’ Danniella asked.
‘A few broken bones but he was very lucky.’ Lorraine took a gulp of her coffee. ‘Anyway, Elizabeth left the flat to Aidan. He tried to give it to her parents but they insisted he kept it. The friendship and sunshine he brought to their daughter’s darkest days, meant everything to them.’ She sighed as she smiled ruefully at Danniella. ‘You can’t choose who you fall in love with, can you?’
Danniella shook her head. ‘There’d be fewer broken hearts in the world if we could.’
And then it happened; the inevitable question. ‘Is there someone special in your life, my dear?’
Stiffening, Danniella stood up and took their empty mugs to the sink. ‘It’s a bit complicated,’ she said with her back still turned, praying that Lorraine wouldn’t ask anything more.
Silence.
Danniella only relaxed and turned around again when she heard Lorraine push back her chair. ‘That’s life for you. Always complicated. Well, my dear. It’s been lovely to see you again, but I’d best be getting back.’ Lorraine lifted her bag onto her shoulder. ‘I’m sure my Aidan’s already said this but do shout if you need anything doing.’
‘He has. Thanks again for the flowers and for recommending me to Aidan.’
‘An absolute pleasure, my dear. I’m thrilled we’ve got you all settled although I do miss your pretty face around Sunny Dayz. Don’t be a stranger, will you?’
Danniella smiled. ‘I’ll try not to be.’
Sitting on the balcony later that afternoon, Danniella reflected on the amazing thing that Aidan had done for Elizabeth. What a great premise for a book. Perhaps she’d feed the idea to one of her romance writers. One name immediately sprung to mind, but that wasn’t an option. She shuddered.
Speaking of romance, she needed to think of a better way to respond to questions about her relationship status although when would anyone ask? She had no intention of making new friends. No way could she risk letting anyone in. If she bumped into any of the other residents of Cobalt House, she’d smile and say hello, but make it clear that she wanted to keep herself to herself. Nobody was going to challenge that. From now on, it was Danniella, her flat, her work, and the occasional interaction with Lorraine and Aidan. This was her new life. This was how it needed to be.
She stayed on the balcony, watching the activity on the seafront. There were cyclists, dog walkers, joggers and what looked like some sort of fitness club or bootcamp running along the promenade.
At 7 p.m., she stood up and stretched. She hadn’t intended to devote the whole day to settling in, yet somehow the time had escaped her. She’d better put in a few hours of work before bedtime.
As she fired up her laptop at the lounge table, she felt that familiar tension across her shoulders and neck. Would he have emailed again? A couple of weeks had passed since his last contact so it was certainly possible.
Seventeen unread messages filled her screen and she scanned down them, grinding her teeth, letting out a shaky breath of relief when none of them were from him. Right, it was time to focus on work and finish proofreading a thriller for one of her regular clients.
‘Another coffee then I’ll get cracking,’ she muttered to herself, wandering across the hall into the kitchen. She reached for a banana and ate it while waiting for the kettle to boil. As she threw the skin into the bin, it struck her that she’d just eaten something without having to force it down her neck. Eating unconsciously? That was a first.
Coffee made, she returned to her laptop and her pulse raced. He’d emailed.
Where are you? Why are you doing this to us? I’ve said I’m sorry. Why don’t you come home and we can talk about it? You can’t keep running. Surely you realise that?
E xx
Danniella’s breathing came thick and fast as she dived for the toilet, making it over the bowl just in time. She’d been foolish thinking she might actually be able to put her past behind her and start rebuilding her future. Clearly, he wasn’t going to let that happen.
She crept back towards the lounge, then changed her mind and took the stairs. She clambered under the duvet, shivering.
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