Just Get Me Through This! - Revised and Updated. Deborah A. Cohen
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have the comfort of knowing that you did whatever you could to prevent it. You’ll never have to live with the guilt of “I should have . . .” or “I wish the doctors had told me to do . . .” So, since everyone involved wants you to have a long, full life, the treatment recommended to you may seem aggressive, but will optimize your survival chances.
Beware of Information Overload. Know When to Stop Reading.
At different points in your journey through this experience, you will hit your “information overload” threshold. Your mind will start spinning, you’ll experience confusion rather than clarity on decisions, and you’ll start terrifying yourself by thinking that every negative aspect of this disease definitely applies to you. You might even start to blank out and not be able to absorb any more. It’s your brain’s protective way of signaling to you that enough is enough.
Overload Relief: Find a Mental Parachute for Quick Bailouts.
You know you’ve just reached your limit. You just can’t think about, talk about, or deal with your cancer for one more minute. Find an emotional escape mechanism, a mental parachute that lets you bail out at a moment’s notice. One caveat: What might have worked for you in the past might not be appropriate for this time in your life. Under normal circumstances, I am an avid athlete and outdoors person, which I very much utilize as my escape from everyday life. However, in the midst of my surgery and treatment period, I found that I couldn’t be as adventurous as I normally might (plus I couldn’t be too far from a hospital). So, my escape became reading—everything from inspirational outdoor adventures, such as expeditions up Mt. Everest, to books about art and architecture. Everything except breast cancer. Find what works for you, what makes you feel good and inspires you, be it reading a juicy novel, yoga or meditation, music, jigsaw puzzles, knitting . . . anything you can pick up at a moment’s notice. When you have to come back to reality, you’ll find yourself mentally refreshed and recharged.
Warning: You May Not Die of Breast Cancer, but the Reference Books Might Crush You.
I admit to stealing this line from the infamous television character Murphy Brown (remember her?), who exclaimed it while standing in her office buried by reams of computer printouts and books on cancer when she was initially diagnosed with breast cancer. It’s true. At some point, sooner or later, you will have done all the research you need to determine what’s best for you. You’ll know when you reach that point, as you’ll be both mentally and physically exhausted. And regardless of the lists of pros and cons you’ve made for various alternatives, you’ll know in your gut what you want to do, even though it may seem terrifying. Don’t let that instinct be crushed by all those reference materials.
Take a Deep Breath and Plunge In. The Sooner You Get Going, the Sooner It’ll Be Over.
When you’ve exhausted your tolerance for information gathering and come to that conclusion about what’s best for you, you have to just get going with treatment. Just like stepping off a high dive into a swimming pool, you never know exactly how you’re going to land and how cold the water will be, but eventually you’ll surface. The important thing is to just get going. Remember, you should start treatment within four to six weeks of surgery. This is enough time to gather the information you need to feel like you’re in control of your decision, to recover a bit from surgery, and to “strike while the iron is hot” (so said one of my doctors) to get the most impact from treatment. Take the time you need to feel comfortable, but don’t delay. Just plunge in, and before you know it, it will be over.
A Special Note on Alternative or Complementary Medicine: Save It for Later?
You may be wondering about if and/or how to incorporate alternative or complementary medicine into your treatment regimen. This is a very personal decision—to be made in conjunction with your doctor—based on your belief systems, religious persuasion, faith in the traditional medical community, and a host of other factors. I used a blend of both at different times. I relied solely on traditional Western medicine to get me through the immediate crisis—making sure that cancer was gone from my body, through surgery, chemotherapy, and radiation. I made this decision partly based on my own beliefs and partly at the recommendation of my health-care team, who were concerned about the potential for herbal remedies to interfere with the effectiveness of my treatment. However, I have decided to pursue some alternative therapies in my postcancer program—including nutritional changes, herbal programs, consistency of exercise, etc.—for both physical and emotional reasons. Not only do I try to keep my body as healthy as possible, but by taking active steps to enhance my overall health, I feel that I have at least some semblance of control over my body and my life again. Should I ever get a recurrence, I won’t look back and blame myself for not doing everything in my power to prevent it. (See Chapter 9, “Alternative Medicine,” for a discussion of basic alternatives.)
Instant Expertise: Useful References and Organizations
Since any other cancer book that you open will most likely contain extensive appendices listing information sources and suggested reading, I’ll be brief here. Here are just a few of the most accessible, informative sources I’ve found:
Books/Publications
• Dr. Susan Love’s Breast Book, by Susan M. Love, M.D.
This everything-you-wanted-to-know-about-breasts-and-cancer-but-were-afraid-of-and-afraid-to-ask 600-page tome is the “bible” of clinical breast cancer books. Although she is somewhat controversial politically, and it comes through in her writing, Dr. Love’s easy-to-understand language, and non–jargon-laden descriptions of complex medical issues is a must-read before you meet with surgeons and oncologists to discuss treatment alternatives. At times it may terrify you, but you’ll be glad you got through it to know what questions to ask your doctors, and to be able to understand their responses to make informed decisions. It also contains appendices with extensive listings of additional resources, references, suggested reading, and listings of both national cancer centers and regional support organizations. Then, return to this book for some hope and a smile.
• MAMM: Women, Cancer and Community
349 West 12th Street
New York, NY 10014
Phone: 888-901-MAMM (for subscription information)
Web site: www.mamm.com
Directly from their Web site: “MAMM is the women’s magazine dedicated to providing the necessary tools to live healthier and happier lives with a cancer diagnosis. MAMM is for anyone whose life has been impacted by breast or reproductive cancers, including partners, family members and coworkers. Each issue provides the latest treatment updates (including emerging findings about alternative and complementary therapies), inspiring profiles of women who are survivors, and insightful coverage of controversies, politics and culture as viewed through the unique prism of cancer diagnosis.” An annual subscription to this bimonthly magazine is less than $15, and well worth the helpful advice and inspiration it provides. Consider it as ongoing chapters of a book like this one, with new advice and helpful hints every other month!
Organizations
• National Alliance of Breast Cancer Organizations (NABCO)
9 East 37th Street, 10th floor
New York, NY 10016
Phone: 212-889-0606, 800-719-9154
Web site: www.nabco.org
A network of over 375 organizations, NABCO is the leading nonprofit central resource for breast cancer. It’s a wealth of information and resources to guide you through your decision-making and treatment phases, but has also been my best source of staying informed since. While the mass media may tend to hype studies as “the next cure,” NABCO’s publications offer practical discussion and analysis of breakthroughs and new developments in the treatment of the disease. They offer the answer to, “What do the results of this study really mean?” and “What are the experts’ attitudes toward practical, rather than purely scientific, applications?” Your health is worth the nominal annual