Habits for Success. G. Brian Benson
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what we have to do. The more certain we can be of the importance of the enterprise, the stronger degree of fear or strength of resistance you will have.” Interesting, huh? This really hit home with me. When I began my journey after leaving the family business, I had a lot of fear and resistance as I began that process. But I knew the importance of what I was undertaking in regard to my own self-growth process and the intuitive pull I was feeling. I had to step into that.
Interpersonal work is not easy. It’s a private journey that only you and you alone can take. It takes courage; it takes a belief in yourself that may not be fully developed or present as you begin the process. It’s a trust walk upon a darkened path into the unknown. But it is so worth it. You truly will be the butterfly coming out of its cocoon. Unload your baggage and find true self-acceptance. It is the greatest gift you can give yourself and others. Walk with me, and let’s journey together.
Chapter 2
Your Foundation
foun·da·tion
noun: foundation
1.the lowest load-bearing part of a building, typically below ground level.
2.the basis or groundwork of anything.
“Her foundation was extremely strong.”
When we think of a foundation, we typically envision a building of some sort, perhaps a house or a skyscraper. When a house is built, the strength of its foundation is key. This is the anchor that supports the entire structure, preventing it from blowing away and holding it strong and steady despite potentially changing climates and conditions. You wouldn’t think of building a house or a skyscraper without putting that essential first layer into place, would you? Well, the same is true for us. If we want to live authentically and be the best versions of ourselves and accomplish our goals and live out our dreams, the first thing we need to do is build a strong foundation. It may seem like a simple part of the overall construction process, but getting the foundation right is incredibly important. Our “house” sits on top of it! And since the main purpose of the foundation is to hold the structure above it and keep it upright, a well-built foundation keeps the building standing while the forces of nature potentially wreak havoc. It keeps its occupants safe during calamities such as strong winds and earthquakes. Well, the same thing applies to us as well. If we don’t properly build our foundation, we open ourselves up to all types of forces boldly wreaking havoc on us. Forces like judgment, low self-esteem, fear, untruths, inaction, jealousy, resistance, apathy, and imbalance, just to name a few. Our foundation should be built with care because it determines how strong and firm our “house” will stand. And how strong our “house” will stand determines how fulfilling, authentic, and successful our lives will be.
Take, for example, all of those creative folks who enter sand castle building competitions. They make building their incredible creations look so easy. If only that was so. I once read where an award-winning castle builder explained her process. She mentioned that interested onlookers often complimented her on the creative details of her work, but what those onlookers don’t realize is that her most diligent efforts were spent on the building of a solid foundation first. Generally the first two hours of her process were spent analyzing the sand content, digging until the most ideal grains are found, then saturating the sand and applying pressure to compact it into a solid formation. And then, and only then, can she get to work on the impressive detailing of her sand creation. But without those initial steps and a solid foundation, the entire structure could collapse. When we have a solid foundation under us, truly anything is possible.
I would like to share some of my favorite ideas, tools, and habits I developed that have helped me build and maintain a stable and healthy foundation in my life. These activities have been instrumental in helping me find my way, keep me on my path, learn and grow, and to see the world differently. Some may already be a part of your life, some may be new; either way, let them sink into your being and see what comes up for you.
As you implement these changes into your life, be patient. Some things will be subtle and feel effortless; others will require work on your part to rewire some of the habits that have anchored themselves into your life. Never fear, you can do it! You will find that having a strong foundation gives you energy, drive, and a sense of purpose.
As I have walked my path these last ten years, I have paid attention to what worked, didn’t work, what brought me joy and what caused me pain and problems. Much of what I have experienced or gone through is laid out for you to gain from. I want you to operate from an incredibly sound foundation. And I know that these ideas are tried-and-true.
There is no rhyme, reason, or level of importance to the order that these gems are presented; however, they are all potentially life changing. May they help build your foundation of success like they helped me build mine.
Chapter 3
Strive for Balance
bal·ance
noun: balance
1.a mental steadiness or emotional stability; habit of calm behavior, judgment, etc.
2.a state of equilibrium or equipoise; equal distribution of weight, amount, etc.
“The man strived to live a life of balance.”
There is a quote that I like that says, “We are here to teach what it is that we need to learn ourselves.” I want to share with you how that quote played a part in my own self-growth process. During the course of leaving my family business, I was stuck in a kind of limbo for a year. In my heart I was ready to hit the road and begin my new life, but I had to stay around and continue to operate it while we went through the process of finding a buyer because of the decision to sell. I began to feel really out of balance and I didn’t like that feeling. I wanted to figure out why I was feeling out of balance. The answer was pretty simple. I was in a job that no longer fulfilled me and I felt that I wasn’t growing anymore. Well I knew that there wasn’t much I could do about this until we sold the business, so I had to make the best of the situation. I then decided to try to figure out how to bring some balance into my life. What I did was simple. I just sat down and wrote five things on a piece of paper that I felt might help keep me balanced and centered and then stuck it in my wallet. From that day forward every time I began to feel out of balance or out of center, I would refer to my list and make sure that I was following its suggestions.
One— Make sure I was drinking enough water daily.
Two— Make sure that I was getting some daily exercise.
Three— Make sure that I was getting enough sleep each night.
Four— Allow myself some daily alone time so that I could re-energize my system.
Five— Allow some time each day to be creative. At that time in my life, it was from playing the guitar.
This helped me out so much that I intuitively thought, “Hey, why don’t I expand the list and make it into a book to help others in the same way that I helped myself?” It was a great experience. I learned a lot in the process, I met some amazing people at workshops, and I know that the book helped many others in the same way that I was able to help myself! “We are here to teach what it is that we need to learn ourselves” played a part in the creation of my first book, Brian’s List!: 26½ Easy to Use Ideas on How to Live a Fun, Balanced, Healthy Life! As I worked on and learned how to stay in balance and build a strong foundation for myself, my path led me to help others do the same thing.
What is balance? According to the dictionary it is a state of equilibrium; mental steadiness or emotional stability; a habit of calm behavior and judgment. I agree. For me, balance is when everything is in alignment and I feel calm and centered. It is a time when I can make decisions proactively and not reactively. How do I know when I am out of balance? Usually when I start to feel overwhelmed and have difficulty making progress on goals. This is definitely my cue and a huge reminder to take a step back and begin to implement some tried-and-true methods to get me back in balance.
It is critical to have balance in our lives for