Wonderful Ways to Love a Child. Judy Ford
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you worried about your shirt?” He nodded. “Are you worried that the stain won’t come out?” He shook his head. “Are you worried that it won’t be clean by tonight?”
“Yup!”
By coming to this understanding, they were ready to find the solution.
Understanding means letting your child be in charge and not quickly taking over. A child learning to tie his shoes may get easily frustrated, but even so he does not want you to do it for him. Instead suggest, “You might try it this way.” When your child asks for your advice, don’t rush in with your answers so quickly; instead ask, “What do you think?” This gives him confidence to solve his own dilemmas. He relaxes, tensions melt away, and he is able to accept the challenge of the task at hand.
If you want the kind of relationship with your child in which he knows he can come to you with any question, concern, or upset, be sure to answer his questions honestly. This is not always easy, because children have a knack for asking the hard ones: “Did you ever skip school?” “What happens when you die?” “Who is God’s mother?”
Constant questions are a sign of an intelligent child. And it isn’t a sign of disrespect when she questions your words or actions. An inquisitive child does not go along willy-nilly with authority figures, including her parents. A child who follows blindly without asking why can be easily led. So respect questioning. And if you don’t know the answer, say so—“I don’t know, that’s a good question”—then help your child find answers. Try not to lose patience with the continual “whys” or “how comes” the little ones ask, or with the tougher questions that are sure to follow.
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