The Rules of the Game. Neil Strauss
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Set aside at least an hour a day—the days don’t actually need to be consecutive—to perform the suggested missions and read the supplementary material.
Guidelines
Your instructions are simple: Every morning, as soon as you wake up, read your missions for the day. They may be primers to study, questions to answer, self-improvement exercises to perform, or field exercises to get you out of the house and approaching women. They begin at a very basic level and grow more advanced as the Stylelife Challenge continues. Think of it as a fitness program for your social life.
If you want to get the most from the Challenge—so that your friends and family will instantly notice the new you—it’s important that you complete all of the missions in the order they are presented. Do not read ahead. Some exercises may seem basic; others may seem out of character for you. But each new exercise builds upon the last, so stick with it.
Several missions will require you to read certain guides and articles. These can be found in the supplementary briefing immediately following the breakdown of the day’s tasks. Make sure that you read each briefing before proceeding to any corresponding field assignments.
The only other material you need will be a pen and paper—although access to a mirror, a computer with an internet connection, and some way to record your voice will be useful for a few assignments. You may also want to keep a journal.
You will not need any money to compete, but you will need a little time each day to do a few small things that can change your life in the long run. None of these assignments requires much more than an hour, so even if you’re working three jobs, you should still be able to do them all. In a pinch, you can always save time by cutting back on all that energy wasted desiring women from afar (in men’s magazines, on TV shows, in the street, on the internet) and instead learning what it takes to have them in your life.
Though the Challenge is designed to be completed alone, if you’re the type of person who’s motivated by communicating with others on the same path, optional discussion boards are available at www.stylelife.com/challenge. You can post all questions, adventures, sticking points, and successes there. My trained coaches, your fellow Challengers, and I will be there to help you. In addition, you’ll find video and audio examples demonstrating some of these exercises and approaches. Note that all the additional tools provided to supplement this book are free.
How to Win the Game
You win when, at any point between Day 1 and Day 30, you get a date.
A date is defined as a planned second encounter with a woman you have just met.
For example, if you approach a woman at a bar, exchange phone numbers, and meet her for coffee two days later, that is a date.
If you talk to a woman at the mall and arrange to meet that night at a bar, and she shows up specifically to see you, that is a date. Even if you don’t exchange phone numbers.
Basically, any scenario where you approach a woman and she agrees to see you at a later date or time—and shows up—constitutes a date.
Once you get a date, feel free to put your name in the winner’s circle at www.stylelife.com/challenge and share your story. If you win before the thirty days are up, feel free to continue the Challenge and carry out the daily missions for the remainder of the month. They’ll only further enhance your confidence and game.
When you’re ready to receive your first mission, turn the page and begin the Stylelife Challenge.
Enjoy, and play fair.
DAY
MISSION 1 : Evaluate Yourself
Fitness programs require you to weigh in on the first day. Financial plans ask for a list of your assets and debts. So to revamp your social life, you’ll need to make a social assessment of yourself.
Your first mission is to write answers to the following questions. Don’t worry about what anyone else will think of your answers. Your goal is to be as honest with yourself as possible.
| 1. | Write one or two sentences describing how you believe other people currently perceive you. |
| 2. | Write one or two sentences describing how you’d like to be perceived by others. |
| 3. | List three of your behaviors or characteristics you would like to change. |
| 4. | List three new behaviors or characteristics you would like to adopt. |
MISSION 2: Read and Destroy
Before moving on to your first field assignment, it’s necessary to eliminate any self-sabotaging beliefs that you may have about interacting with women. Your next task is to read the manifesto titled “The Chains That Bind,” included at the end of today’s assignments in the Day 1 Briefing.
MISSION 3: Operation Small Talk
Your first field assignment: Make small talk with five strangers today.
It doesn’t matter whether they’re male or female, young or old, friendly or unfriendly. The stranger can be a businessman in the street, an old lady in the supermarket line, a hostess at a restaurant, or a homeless person.
The goal is simply to start a conversation, with no intent other than filling in the silence with a question or pleasantry. The conversation doesn’t have to progress beyond a comment and a response.
If idle chatter doesn’t come naturally to you, scan news headlines before you leave the house. Small-talk topics include:
Weather: “It’s beautiful out today. Too bad we’re stuck inside.”
Sports: “Did you catch the ________ game last night? I couldn’t believe it.”
Current events: “Did you hear that ________? What are they going to think of next?”
Entertainment: “Have you seen the new ________ movie yet? I wonder if it’s any good.”
Remember: The answer doesn’t matter. Whether you receive a long story or a cursory grunt in response, you’ve completed the mission simply by opening your mouth and speaking to a stranger.
DAY 1 BRIEFING
THE CHAINS THAT BIND
When it came to meeting women, my biggest enemy was me.
I used to look at myself—five foot six, scrawny, bald, and big nosed—and think there was no way I could compete with all the tall, good-looking guys out there. I was so unhappy that I considered plastic surgery.
But once I started approaching women in streets, bars, clubs, and cafés, I discovered that looks don’t matter nearly as much as I’d thought. As long as I was well groomed, all I needed in order to attract just about anyone I wanted was the right personality.
Although it’s a dubious achievement to be named in the media as the best pickup artist in the world, one thing it taught me was that I didn’t need to change the way I looked. I was doing just fine. In fact, I usually had it easier than big, muscular, square-jawed male models because I was much less threatening and intimidating. I could come in under the radar. In the end, then, my problem wasn’t my looks, but my limiting beliefs about my looks.
A limiting belief is something that you believe about yourself, other people,