The Rules of the Game. Neil Strauss
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: Set Your Goals
Congratulations! You survived Day 1.
Whether you already know your life goals or you just need a little prodding, today’s first exercise will help you set your intent and program your mind for success.
To quote J. C. Penney, founder of the department store chain, “Give me a stock clerk with a goal, and I’ll give you a man who will make history. Give me a man with no goals, and I’ll give you a stock clerk.”
Your mission is to read the following questions, think about them carefully, and write your personal mission statement. Be as specific and ambitious as possible. (Examples of accomplishments include starting a band, buying a house, getting in shape, launching a business, becoming president.)
| 1. | What three accomplishments would you like to achieve to make you happier? |
| 2. | What are the reasons these accomplishments will make you happier? |
| 3. | What is your personal mission? |
| 4. | List three specific results that will let you know that you’ve accomplished your mission. (For example, “I will have earned $200,000,” “I will have lost thirty pounds,” or “I will have won five Academy Awards.”) |
| 5. | Why are you now fully committed to pursuing your personal mission? |
Because if I don’t pursue it now, I will continue to suffer over the next years and
But if I do pursue it now, I will enjoy the next years and
MISSION 2: Look into Your Eyes (Optional)
There’s another step you can take to reinforce your personal mission statement and strengthen your subconscious intent: self-hypnosis. I’ve commissioned a charismatic mind-shaping exercise specifically for the Challenge, which I’ve made available for you online at www.stylelife.com/challenge.
After you download it, find a comfortable place free of distraction. Dim the lights, take off your shoes, and sit or lie down. Relax. Then put on headphones, play the audio, and take the journey.
Make sure you listen to the entire recording without interruption. It’s more important to feel this experience than to see it. Try to listen to the recording every other day during the Challenge: The more you repeat it, the better the result.
MISSION 3: Look into Their Eyes
Your field assignment today is to go out and make small talk with five more strangers.
But, this time, there’s one more thing you need to do: make eye contact with each person. Record his or her eye color in the space below:
In the first small-talk exercise, the purpose was to develop the ability to talk to anyone without fear. Meeting people eye to eye (being careful not to stare) will not only increase the likelihood of a response, it’ll help you connect with them on a more personal level.
If you’d like to develop this crucial but subtle skill further, here’s an extra-credit exercise: Try to hail a cab, get a bartender’s attention, or call a waiter to your table without speaking or gesturing—instead, use nothing but eye contact.
MISSION 4: A Hint for Tomorrow
Be sure to read tomorrow’s assignment the moment you wake up—before you shower, shave, or check your email.
DAY
MISSION 1: Adopt the Caveman Hygiene Method
This next mission may make you a little uncomfortable. And that’s a good thing. The reason will be made clear tomorrow. But for now:
Do not shower today.
Do not shave today.
Chances are, no one will notice—most people are too busy worrying about how they look. If they do, tell them you’re trying to win a bet or participating in a highly compensated study for the deodorant industry.
MISSION 2: Speak with Confidence
When I was learning the game, I had trouble meeting new people because I talked too fast, too softly, and swallowed my words. In a loud club, it made meeting women practically impossible. So I went to a vocal coach named Arthur Joseph.
“Your voice is your identity,” he teaches. “It can tell people everything about who you are, how you feel about yourself, and what you believe in.”
So today we’re going to work on your voice.
There are five common speech mistakes people make. These errors are outlined, along with an exercise for each, in your Day 3 Briefing.
Your task is to read the article and do at least three of the exercises, even if you don’t think you need to. You may be surprised.
MISSION 3: Find Mr. Moviefone
For today’s field mission, stay home. You’re going to use only your voice.
Your task is to dial a local number randomly on your telephone. When someone answers, try to get him or her to recommend a good movie. That’s all.
The point isn’t just to talk to more strangers. It’s to learn how to change the course of an interaction without making the other person feel uncomfortable.
This skill will help you take control of conversations in real life and direct them toward the outcome you want.
A few hints:
Rather than just dialing random strings of seven-digit numbers, look through a residential telephone book and select numbers at random. Or use the first three digits in your own number and make up the last four digits.
Here’s a sample script I used when doing the Challenge myself:
“Hi, is Katie there? No? Well, maybe I can quickly ask you this instead.” Don’t pause here and give the person an opportunity to say no. “I want to see a movie tonight. And I was wondering, have you seen any good movies lately that you’d recommend?”
Here’s another script that worked:
“Hello? Is this Moviefone? No? Well, would you mind quickly recommending a movie to watch tonight? Have you seen anything good lately?”
If the person you’re speaking to hesitates or asks if this is a joke, reassure him or her by saying that you’re serious. One magic word you can use is because. Providing a reason, no matter how illogical (such as “No, I’m serious, because I’m in a rush”), psychologically influences people to accept an unexpected behavior.
Once you’ve received a movie recommendation from three separate people, consider today’s mission successfully completed.
MISSION 4: Hypno Time (Optional)
Listen to yesterday’s charismatic