The Reflective Workbook for Partners of Transgender People. D. M. Maynard. Читать онлайн. MREADZ.NET

The Reflective Workbook for Partners of Transgender People. D. M. Maynard

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The Reflective Workbook for Partners of Transgender People - D. M. Maynard

challenge or venture that presents itself to you is empowering. Knowing you have survived and made it through a difficult or overwhelming situation fosters positive hope.

Have you experienced anything else in your life, other than the transition, that has been unexpected and confusing in any way? If so, what has it been and how did you cope, address, or handle this information?

AFFIRMATIVE ANECDOTE

We may not

Know why,

But we know

Change is

Going to happen!

GRAPHICS GALORE

Bar Graph

To what degree do these concerns and related topics matter to you? Based on a scale from 1 to 10, with 1 being the lowest and 10 being the highest, color or shade in your response. This visual will help you see where your greatest concerns lie and can help you to communicate this to your trans-identified partner, therapist, spiritual mentor, or for your own personal understanding. The bar graph results may vary as the transition progresses and your thoughts may shift.

Use these ideas to fill in the bar graph or feel free to create your own!

A. Your attraction to your partner.

B. Your partner’s attraction to you.

C. Your sex life.

D. Your own finances or employment.

E. Your partner’s finances or employment.

F. Your relationship with each other.

G. Your relationship with family/children.

H. Your relationship with friends.

I. Your trans-identified partner’s social/medical changes.

J. Your partner’s safety and yours.

GRAPHICS GALORE

Pie Graph

To what degree do these concerns and related topics matter to you? Decide how important are these topics to you in relation to each other? Place the number that corresponds with a suggested topic within as many slices of the pie that conveys how each one matters to you. Only one number should be placed in each slice. You do not need to use all the topics but do fill in all the slices. Feel free to create your own topics and assign them their own number.

1. Your attraction to your partner.

2. Your partner’s attraction to you.

3. Your sex life.

4. Your own finances or employment.

5. Your partner’s finances or employment.

6. Your relationship with each other.

7. Your relationship with family/children.

8. Your relationship with friends.

9. Your trans-identified partner’s social/medical changes.

10. Your partner’s safety and yours.

SAMPLER SHARE

Now that I know, are there any fears, worries, and concerns going through my mind about the transition?

Transition is the Leviathan of emotional roller coasters. I now know how deeply I love my wife and how committed we are to continuing to live our lives together. But we are still a long way from riding off into the sunset. I fear what is yet to come on a journey that is still at least another 3–4 years from completion. There is no rulebook. Everyone has their own unique experiences. I worry that she will become so dysphoric as we head back into a holding pattern for the next 25 years that her despondency will overwhelm her and pull her farther away from me. I am concerned that our chosen timeline is unrealistic and unattainable. I fear that we will not make it through this together. We are really going through three transitions: hers, ours, and mine. They intersect and have some commonality but are unique and different from each other. I worry that we don’t know how to allow each of these transitions to happen organically.

AFFIRMATIVE ANECDOTE

Ask questions,

Get answers,

Keep asking

More questions.

Sometimes it feels like we are on the same roller coaster but in different cars! I am concerned that I can give her what she needs but that I can also give myself what I need and vice versa. I am concerned that she even knows what I need or how to support me or if she has the energy or inclination to do so. What I know is, when we get to the end of this transition process, that my wife will truly be happy to finally be her authentic self.

(Shared by Grace)

COUPLE COMMUNICATION CORNER

When partners or couples speak spontaneously out of anger or fear about the unknown, without thinking it through, they can sometimes regret the way they phrased it. Rehearsing what and how partners may want to ask or discuss with their trans-identified partner, and/or others, can help partners and couples before they actually communicate their thoughts. This gives the non-transitioning partner a moment to reflect and pause before they converse about emotional topics. Partners may choose to practice asking these questions with a trusted friend, family member, spiritual mentor, or therapist first.

Explain your thoughts and feelings about these statements to each other. Do you and your trans-identified partner answer these questions in the same way or differently? Discuss your responses to understand how you view them and make time to celebrate all you learn from being willing to communicate with each other.

1. Do you think you will still be attracted to your trans-identified partner during and after the transition?
The partner’s thoughts:	The trans persons’s thoughts:

AFFIRMATIVE ANECDOTE

I am important!

I am visible!

My needs matter!

2. Do you think your trans-identified partner will still be attracted to you during and after the transition?
The partner’s thoughts:	The trans persons’s thoughts:

3. How do you think the transition will affect your sex life?
The partner’s thoughts:	The trans persons’s thoughts:

4. How do you think the transition will affect your finances or employment?
The partner’s thoughts:	The trans persons’s thoughts:

5. How do you think the transition will affect your partner’s finances or employment?
The partner’s thoughts:	The trans persons’s thoughts:

6. How do you think the transition will affect your relationship with each other?
The partner’s thoughts:	The trans persons’s thoughts:

7. How do you think the transition will affect your relationship with your family/children?
The partner’s thoughts:	The trans persons’s Скачать книгу В начало <2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 >В конец